Apple "buck" season

by The PatioHeater

Seriously Applejack... not cool

The sun had just risen, although a tad later than usual, Celestia is usually woken up by Luna well before it’s time to make the morning happen. This being the case Celestia went in search of her sister, she wanted an explanation. She went to Luna’s room, but she wasn’t there. “That’s strange. Where could she be?” Celestia asked herself. It was at this point when Luna appeared behind her, panting and trying to speak. “Easy Luna. Take a moment to catch your breath,” she said calmly.
A few seconds and some deep breaths later Luna started to talk coherently. “Celery you gotta-”
Celestia interrupted her, “What did you call me?”
“Oh, err…” she giggled nervously, “It’s a new nick name, I was getting bored of Tia and Celestia is too long and formal, so I thought Celery would be a good one. Well?” Luna asked hopefully.
“It’s… okay, I guess. But if I'm honest I would prefer Tia or something.”
“Oh okay, Something. Anyway, you have to see this,” her voice went serious.
“Why? What is it?” Celestia was worried, very little made Luna so excited or serious like this.
“Well, last night I was watching the Ponies in the Observation Tower.”
“You weren’t wasting your time watching Ponies walking around again, were you?” Celestia facehoofed exhaustedly, Luna seemed to be spending more and more time in the Observation Tower recently.
“Yes.” Celestia tutted as Luna said this. “But I have actually found something… important, for once.”
After a little consideration Celestia sighed, “Alright then, Luna. Show me what you found.” Celestia couldn’t be any less enthused.
Luna smiled and squeaked a little with excitement as she led Celestia to the Observation Tower.

The Observation Tower wasn’t strictly a tower, it was just a large circular room under the Observatory. Celestia had invented it long ago as a way of keeping an eye on any inhabitants of Equestria using magic, it could home in on any Pony or room, as long as you concentrated. There were numerous telescopes around the room, each looking out of a window to get a full view around the Castle and of all the land. All the telescopes were connected to each other through a terminal in the centre which acted a little bit like a holographic projector, but it used magic, this allowed you to control any telescope from one location. And Luna had it focused on a sleeping Applejack.
“Look. Look!” Luna shouted excitedly as she pointed to the image of Applejack sleeping on a bed.
Celestia looked up at the image, and then looked down back at the ground. “What Luna?”
“Well, you know I have always erred on the safe side of caution when it comes to Applejack ever since… you know…”
“Oh yes, I remember. Those poor fillies.”
“I know. How many was it again?”
“Eleven. Seven need extensive therapy.”
“What about the four, I haven’t been kept up to date with this story?
“Those have been omitted.”
“Oh… it was that serious?”
“Do you remember what she did?!”
“Good point. My mind tries to forget the details.”
“If only we all could…” Celestia shuddered as she remembered some of the details.
“But anyway.” Luna was desperately trying to change the topic back to the original. “You see Celery, I became interested in her once again a few months ago at the start of the apple buck season. You see she-”
“Luna! What in the name of me is so important about Applejack sleeping in a bed?” Celestia asked exasperatedly.
“That’s Big Macintosh’s bed.”
“So?"
“Big Mac was there a while ago. Before I came and found you.”
“So?!”
Luna sighed. “I hoped that would have been enough, if I'm honest. Fortunately, although I say that loosely, I took some screen shots.” Luna worked her magic on the screen and brought up some screen shots, and then she turned away quickly, not wanting to see them again.
Celestia went pale, if that was possible for a white Pony, and her mouth dropped open with disgust. She scrolled through them as quickly as possible, slowly recoiling further and further back as each one hit her eyes.
“I know right?” Luna said without looking at her sister, she could tell by the silence what she was thinking. “I threw up like 8 times.” Without looking she turned off the magic screen and slapped her sister back into the room. “What do we do?”
“Err… I don’t know.” Celestia was just staring at where the disturbing pictures had been on display, then she turned her mane on, restoring it from its boring flat pink state to its multicoloured flow. “Turn your mane on, Luna. We need to bring them in.”
“Oh…” she moaned angrily, “But it makes my head itch something awful. Cant I just wait until they get here?”
Celestia considered this for a second, “That would work I guess. Okay, just prepare yourself, we have to determine why this happened. I presume you know.”
“Yep!” Luna sang with pride.
Celestia wrote a letter and sent it off to Sweet Apple Acres.

– A –

Big Macintosh woke up. His head was spinning like mad, he kept his eyes closed, that seemed to help. Pinkie Pie had thrown one of her better parties, all because she had a “No fillies” policy for once, so the drinks were more adult than the usual punch. Big Mac couldn’t remember the last time he drank so much, he also couldn’t remember the previous night. All he knew was that he must have pulled as he could feel somepony next to him in his bed. But he was terrified that, in his drunken state, he had accidentally brought home a colt. So he ran a hoof down the side of the Pony next to him, he could feel it was a mare. He sighed with relief. He didn’t recognise the feel of the Pony next to him, which was unusual for him. He felt her cutie mark, there was three little shapes arranged on her flank, which was very definitive as most only had a single shape. He assumed it was Rarity, he was sure that she was at the party, and he would have recognised Fluttershy from her wings, they were very unique. He started kissing the back of her neck tenderly, but stopped when he heard something that would haunt him forever.
“Mornin’ sugar cube. Not now though, give us a few minutes, Ah need t’ wake up first and then Ah’m all yours,” Applejack’s soft tired voice pierced Big Mac’s ears and echoed in his hung over brain. His eyes shot open as wide as they could, he stopped kissing her instantly and his mouth hung open with shear horror and disgust as he saw the orange coat and blonde mane of his sister. He slowly rolled out of his bed and stepped quietly to the floor. He was drawing very short, very ragged breaths, barely taking in any air as he did. He headed out of the door as quietly as possible, his stomach was full of absolute disgust and a lot of alcohol, it was amazing he hadn’t thrown up yet with the knowledge of him and his sister…
His face remained the same expression of shear revulsion as he walked down the corridor. Apple Bloom jumped out of her room. “Hi ya Big Mac! Did you have fun last night?” Apple Bloom shouted excitedly.
Big Mac ignored her and kept walking, the only acknowledgement to her question was a violent shudder that ran through him. He made it to the stairs, and fell down them.
Granny Smith hobbled through to the foot of the stairs to investigate the crashing noise. “What’s goin’ on here?” she inquired, but she hadn’t made it in time to see Big Mac since he managed to pick himself up and leave the house.
He made it outside and stood still. The crisp fresh air and the beautiful sunshine would normally be a wonderful feeling after a good night’s sleep for Big Mac, but today it had no effect, he barely noticed he was outside. After a moment of reminiscing and trying to remember how it happened, Big Mac threw up, a lot, and collapsed in the newly created pool in front of him. He lay there, he wasn’t sure at all if he was awake or even conscious. A letter spawned out of thin air and landed on his flank. He didn’t react.

– A –

Applejack woke up some time after Big Mac had left, she didn’t have a hangover, she didn’t drink much last night. She was slightly confused as to why she was in Big Mac’s room, but she quickly remembered, and smiled.
She headed downstairs, but not before being intercepted by Apple Bloom. “Hey Sis!”
“Mornin’ Apple Bloom. Did you have fun last night with Granny Smith?”
“Yeah, it was okay.” Her face suddenly lost its childlike glee and was replaced by a more serious one. “What’s up with Big Mac? He seemed awful weird this mornin’.”
Applejack had to hide a smile. “Ah don’t know. He did have a lot to drink last night.”
“Huh?” Apple Bloom sounded confused by Applejack’s reply, she didn’t know how drinking would affect someone so badly, she also didn’t understand alcohol.
“Oh Apple Bloom. Ah sometimes forget that yer still a little filly.”
“Huh?!” Apple Bloom was even more confused than before.
Applejack chuckled warmly and ruffled Apple Bloom’s mane affectionately before continued walking downstairs. She passed Granny Smith. “Mornin’ Granny. Y’alright?”
“Wha…” Granny Smith always had bad hearing. So Applejack headed outside the still open door.
Outside Applejack was greeted by the sight of Big Macintosh, laying face down in a pool of his own alarmingly green vomit, although she seemed oblivious to this. “Mornin’ brother.” Applejack’s voice was like torture in Big Mac’s ears, it just reminded him of the previous night. “Ah’ll tell ya what, Ah haven’t had a night like that in years.” Big Mac didn’t respond. “And Ah know now why they call ya Big Mac,” she emphasised the word ‘big’ and winked at her brother.
Big Mac threw up some more and groaned with pain, Oh Celestia, Why?! His mind screamed at him. He had never felt so horrified in every way, snippets of the previous night flashed in front of his eyes, each one physically pained him across his entire body as he convulsed. Somehow Applejack was ignorant of Big Mac’s pain and physical condition.
Applejack saw the roll of scroll that lay upon the ground by Big Mac. “Hey, what’s this here?” She stooped down to pick it up. Her breath caught Big Mac’s flank and he jerked violently, causing him enough pain to make him wretch a little, although there was nothing more to bring up. Applejack unrolled the scrap of parchment and threw it to the ground so she could read it. “Hm, that’s strange…” Applejack thought of the words for a second and why Celestia would ask this. “Hey, Big Mac!” Now every time Applejack said his name he would always think of what she said earlier about his name. Seeing his unresponsiveness she gave him a short sharp kick to the ribs, this brought him back slightly, he even managed to stand up, but he still couldn’t focus on anything. “Mac, Princess Celestia wants us t’ come t’ the castle immediately, fer some reason.”
Big Mac ceased up, these words penetrated into his mind and rang clear in his head. He could only think that the one sole reason for her summoning them was the incident of last night.

– A –

“Alright Luna, we have some serious business to get down to soon, so just let me do the talking will you?”
Luna sighed exhaustedly, “But I have already told you. You don’t know the circumstances!”
“Now Luna, no need to get in a huff, it’s just that you don’t know the protocol with things like this. Besides, it’s pretty obvious what happened,” Celestia’s calm voice grated against Luna’s mind.
“Okay, sis…” she said defeated.
They headed to the hall where Celestia dealt with the criminals and such. “And turn your mane on.”
“Oh. Do I have to?” Luna said in a pained voice.
“Yes, it’s the whole appearance thing, we have to look regal.”
“But can’t I wait until they get here? It’s so itchy,” Luna pleaded
“You know it takes a while to heat up. Now come on already, they’re nearly here.”
Luna sighed again, “Okay… Celery” Luna smiled at her sister.
“And stop calling me that.”
Luna giggled childishly as she ignited her mane and made it flow.

– A –

Applejack walked into the Grand Hall of Canterlot Castle, and she was in awe of it. She could barely see the ceiling it was that tall. Light spilled in from the tall stain glass windows, creating beautiful patterns on the floor and walls. The hall had rows and rows of pews that stretched back from the front all the way to the door, except they were all empty. Applejack walked through the hall, staring at everything, trying to take it all in. Big Mac, on the other hoof, wasn’t paying attention to anything, it was a feat in itself to get him to the right part of Equestria, let alone into a specific room in a specific castle. He was just staring at the ground, dreading the moment when Celestia would banish him and put him in a dungeon in the place where she banished him.
As they neared the front of the hall, the Princesses Celestia and Luna came into view, they were sitting on their golden and red velvet thrones which were dangerously tall and unprotected, any normal pony would be in danger of falling off, but they were somehow how balancing perfectly. Celestia had the front most throne, which was in the centre, her face the picture of seriousness, she didn’t look like a Pony to mess with today. Luna, however, wasn’t really paying attention, she was playing with her mane, swishing it around and watching it slowly return to its normal position gleefully. Celestia cleared her throat quietly, attracting Luna’s attention who promptly became serious and a little bit menacing.
“Applejack. Big Macintosh. Do you know why you are here?” she announced in her Royal Canterlot Voice which echoed through the cavernous hall.
“Err, actually, yer highness, Ah haven’t got a clue,” Applejack stated, although her face gave her away, she clearly knew but didn’t want to admit it, yet she still didn’t seem ashamed like she should be.
“Thou are here for committing a heinous crime of lying with thy kin.”
“What?” Applejack was confused by her choice of words.
Celestia sighed aggressively in her Royal Canterlot Voice, which was impressively loud, “You slept… with your brother!” Celestia shouted in disgust, her Royal Canterlot Voice amplified it and made the windows shake.
“Celery, Calm down,” Luna whispered.
“STOP. CALLING. ME-.” She stopped herself from shouting anymore and took a few deep breaths before continuing, “Sorry Luna, but please, stop calling me Celery,” she whispered back to her sister.
“Okay, Celestia. I promise. Now let’s get on with this.”
She turned back to the Apples, “Now Applejack, do you know why you’re here?”
“Well no, actually. ‘Cause sleepin’ with yer brother ain’t a crime is it?” Applejack argued.
“No, it’s always been a crime.”
“Well how was Ah t’ know?”
“It’s pretty common knowledge that you’re not supposed to do that.”
“Oh… well Ah apologise.” Applejack bowed her head with shame, although you could see in her eyes that she wasn’t really sorry for it. “But, your highness,” Applejack stood up again and faced Celestia, “It’s not our faults, we had a lot to drink last night.”
“Bollocks!” Luna shouted angrily, rewarded by an evil stare from her sister.
“Luna. You’re a Princess. You should not use that kind of language in front of your subjects,” Celestia was more shocked and humoured than angry, she never heard Luna speak like that before.
Luna started blushing. “Sorry Celerrrrrrstia.”
“Good save,” Celestia whispered with a wink.
“But as I was saying, Applejack.” Luna stared a dagger or two at the orange Earth Pony. “I know that Big Mac drank a lot, that’s obvious. But you! Yyoouu…” she pointed an accusing hoof at her. “You drank next to nothing. And you were feeding him drink like there was no tomorrow.”
“What?! That is a lie!” Applejack was insulted.
“No it’s not. I also know what you’ve been doing over the past few weeks.”
“What?” Applejack’s eyes darted side to side nervously.
Luna stood from her throne and slowly descended the staircase down to the floor, talking as she went. “You see, my dear friend Applejack, I like to keep an eye on the Pony folk of Equestria, which I can do, thanks to magic,” her voice was eerie, she seemed very unlike herself for once. “I have an observation room in the Castle, and I have had my eye on you, my little Pony, ever since that incident at the orphanage.”
“What incident?”
“Oh yeah, I forgot that mental block you can have. Lucky you… but anyway. I have been watching you ever since the start of the apple buck season.” By now Luna had reached the bottom of the stairs and was circling the accused. “And I know that this was all. Your. Fault.” As she reached the last word she was looking at Applejack, with eyes that screamed I'm going to kill you, whether or not that was what she was going for.
“What?” Applejack laughed nervously, “You’d better have some hard evidence to back up this accusation.” Applejack glared at Luna.
“Oh, I was hoping you’d say that.” Luna’s voice was uncharacteristically dark. “Celestia, come down here.” She waved a hoof at Celestia, beckoning her down.
Celestia jumped and elegantly flew down, landing next to her sister. “What are you doing Luna?” Celestia whispered, slightly nervous.
“Don’t worry. She wants evidence, so I’ll give her some,” Luna whispered back. She turned to address all of them, “Now, I will take you on a journey through time.”
“What?!” said the other three ponies in unison, even Big Mac, although his contribution was considerably quieter than the other two.
“Not really though,” Luna added quickly after seeing their reactions. “You see, when I was on the moon, I had a lot of spare time, seeing as I was there for 1000 years.” Her final words were said angrily at the thought of her banishment. But after a few calming breaths she continued. “I developed a keen imagination, and the ability to create worlds. I also learnt how to expand these worlds into the real one, creating a much more real experience for everypony involved. So everypony, please. Are you sitting comfortably?” The other Ponies looked to each other and all shrugged in perfect synchronisation. “Good. Then I shall begin…”

Luna shut her eyes with deep concentration. Her horn started to glow with a mysterious white aura, unusual for her as it was usually blue. It didn’t glow evenly either, it started at the base and then made its way up. The room went dark. Her horn glowed more and more as the four Ponies were encircled within a whirlwind of white magic, with Luna at the centre. Her horn was entirely white now with such a powerful magic it scared Celestia. The room started to disappear, fizzing out of existence in clouds of mist which then joined the swirling tumult of air. The room was now completely obscured from view in the whirlwind of magic. Luna finished mumbling an incantation and started floating in the air, rising higher and higher into the vortex. She opened her eyes, they glowed brighter than her horn. And then, as some symbols of an ancient language which Celestia didn’t recognise flashed around them, a high pitch whine pierced their ears. And if this noise wasn’t unbearable enough, it was accompanied by a blinding light forming around Luna, which blinded them. Luna was now completely invisible due to the ball of pure light that enveloped her. This ball expanded and took the other Ponies in its powerful embrace. Celestia was scared.

– A –

Their eyes were blinded by the intense light, so it took a little while to recover. After the cloak of visionlessness was lifted from her, the first thing Celestia saw was a smiling Luna who stared at her sister with a triumphant look in her eye. “Hi Celery!”
“Where did you learn that kind of magic?” Celestia was in awe of the amazing feat of magic her little sister had preformed, one that Celestia could only dream of doing. Sure, she could raise the sun, but she was in what she could only assume was Luna’s imagination.
“You’d be surprised by what’s on the moon.”
Celestia walked around cautiously, scared to step off the ground where she was stood. “Where are we?”
“This, my obviously envious sister, is my imagination.”
“Really?” Celestia was in disbelief, she never thought this was possible.
“Yep!” she said with a sense of justified smugness.
Celestia looked around, it wasn’t very interesting, it was a white dome that was swirling slowly around them, for somepony who had 1000 years on the moon to practice, her imagination is boring, frankly, Celestia thought. “Why is it so… dull?” she put her thoughts into disappointed words.
“Well, silly Celery, I haven’t imagined anything yet. Just you wait until those other two wake up.” She pointed a hoof at Big Mac and Applejack, both of which were unconscious. “That’s the one bad thing about Earth ponies: they can’t handle ridiculous amounts of magic like Pegasususususes, let alone Unicorns or Alicorns.”
“How long should they be out for?”
“How should I know? This is the first time I have ever brought anyone with me into my imagination. If I'm honest I wasn’t sure you were going to survive with your minds intact.”
“That’s pretty risky, Luna.”
“Says you. How did you even know I would survive on the moon, ay? I mean, come on, losing your mind slightly isn’t as bad as using your life slightly,” Luna spoke sourly at her sister, she was clearly still sore about the whole moon-banishment thing.
“Luna, this isn’t the time for that now. Besides, I have apologised countless times for that. I know it’s not enough but I'm trying.”
“I know Celery. But it’s hard, y’know. One day I will forgive you, I hope.”
A groan came from behind the two sisters which made them spin round to see the source of it. It was Big Mac struggling to his feet. “Am ah… dead?” his voice was sounded oddly hopeful.
“Nope, you’re just in my mind.”
“Eeee-what?”
Applejack woke up, swaying slightly, the magic surge must affect smaller Ponies worse, Luna deducted. “Ah, Applejack. I see you’re awake. And before you ask, you’re in my mind.”
“Wha?” her dreary voice spoke confusedly.
“Now that you’re all awake, let’s get on with the show.” Luna turned away and shut her eyes to concentrate, but quickly stopped as she remembered something important. “Actually, before I start, I should probably tell you about what’s happening. Well, now that we’re all in one mind I can use your brain power to help rebuild memories in time. It’s a bit like time travelling but much less complicated. Basically we will be in a virtual world, an augmented reality if you prefer, but this means we will be nothing but observers, only visible to ourselves. We can’t change anything or do anything to alter time, since we can’t touch anything, we will pass through stuff like ghosts. Also, this will be completely accurate, to 100%, as it is a memory of time itself and all. Do you understand?”
“Not really,” the other Ponies spoke together, Celestia seemed very embarrassed that her sister knew more of this sort of thing than her.
Luna facehoofed and then decided to simplify her explanation. “Fine. We are… time travelling ghosts who can only watch, not do. Is that any better?” Luna’s fellow intrepid time re-creators nodded in acknowledgement, although Celestia still had a question.
“Why did we have to come inside your head? Couldn’t we have done this in the real world?”
“Not a chance. We needed the room to recreate the world we live in and at its proper scale so it would work, so that’s only possible if we collectively imagine it, rather than destroy the present world we’re in. Also, if we weren’t all in either one of our heads we couldn’t view the timeline we want, since these two are Earth Ponies and are not magical, so we need all our minds in one place just so we can access the relevant time memories. Did that answer your question?”Celestia nodded sheepishly. “Alright then. Let’s get this show on the road!”

Luna’s horn started to glow again, and so did Celestia’s, which she found strangely involuntary, as if Luna was controlling her. Applejack and Big Mac were moved around against their will, getting into positions which they didn’t mean to, both of them seemed to be in the position for bucking an apple tree. They froze, unable to move from bucking positions, no matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t even struggle. They were terrified at this feeling of complete immobility and bodily uncontrollability.
Now that they were locked into place she could work on the rest of the spell. She had to use the combined magic of both her and her sister but she managed it. Slowly but surely, the land of Equestria began to fill in the blankness, spreading out from the feet of the two Earth Ponies. Outlines of shape were drawn in first, then they were filled in by colour, layer upon layer of different colours, building up into the world they know and love. After a surprisingly short time, the entirety of Equestria, well sweet Apple Acres anyway, was created with perfect realism. After all, it was a time memory. Luna sank as her spell was finished, it was exhausting, she started panting heavily with the loss of energy. Celestia was in the exact same condition, but it was worse for her as Luna put all the effort in but shared the exertion, so Celestia had no clue why she felt like that exactly. Luna looked around nervously, she had never preformed such a spell in her life, but she didn’t dare tell her sister out of fear for how she would react. Celestia was not a Pony to get angry. Luna looked around at the world in her head, it was an exact copy of Equestria, in fact it was Equestria, from a different time. But as Luna looked, there was something wrong. There were birds in the sky, but they weren’t moving. Trees showed signs of the wind blowing but it could not be felt. All was still and silent. Luna was scared that she might have just broke reality.
Celestia recovered from her lack of energy enough to ask Luna a question. “Did it work?” Luna’s silence spoke volumes. “Oh me, what did you do wrong, Luna?” she was far too exhausted to be angry.
Luna looked around terrified, trying to see some hope that proved that she didn’t potentially destroy time. But fortunately, for all the Ponies, she saw Applejack and Big Mac speed up from a standstill. The two farm Ponies could feel their legs kick back in slow motion, and by the time they had both struck their respective trees with their powerful hind legs, time had resumed a normal flow and both of them fell out of their bodies and became mere ghosts like Celestia and Luna.

Luna, suddenly reenergised, jumped in the air victoriously. “Yes! I knew that would work!”
“What do you mean by that Luna?” Celestia cocked an eyebrow as she said this, she knew full well that Luna didn’t know what she was doing, but she didn’t care.
“Err… nothing! But isn’t this amazing!” she span around to take in the sights and the sounds and the smells. “This is Equestria in a different time! And look! We managed to leap into two separate timelines at once!” Luna squealed with excitement. “I love Quantum Leaping.”
“What?”
“That’s what I have decided to call this process. You leap into someone’s timeline and can then observe it from that point onwards until you reach the time you leapt from.”
The Apple family walked over to the Princesses. “Alright, now what do we do?” Applejack’s tone was a mix of impatience and eagerness.
“Now,” Luna announced, “We go and prove that you…” Luna pointed a hoof accusingly at Applejack, she could hardly be believe what she was about to say next, “You seduced your own brother.”

Comments

[AnonyMouse]

This story is bad and you should feel bad. Also, if I ever see you in real life you had better run. Run quickly.

[The PatioHeater]

I'll make sure to do so!

[The PatioHeater]

I'll make sure to do so!209287

Also, I did warn you about being offended, so whos fault is it?

[CaveRave]

Hi, I am in the royal family and my sister takes care of everything and she handles it well enough that I have enough time to spend most of my nights and mornings spying people through the royal observation tower...
---
Hello, I am the element of the honesty. I am also a farmer who lives with her brother and granny. One night I had a sleepover and slept with my brother. I didn't give a damn and in-fact I don't even know Incest was banned. ((If I were western American I would be offended)).

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Hello, I am Dido, a user of Fimfiction. I am going to track this story as I am a little curious of what will happen. I do not pay full attention to grammar. That little memory part felt a bit weak though, it wasn't too interesting (It was also a perfect place for an Assassin's Creed reference but you didn't think of that.)

---
FUS RO DAH! I AM THE DRAGONBORN. I AM GOING TO THE MOON TO LEARN THE NEXT THUM'UMS!

[Bronyfan]

Darn it!
Please finish it!
I want to see what happens next!

[DJ Cobalt]

wow cool stroy bro

[Arthtrott]

Wonderfully badly written in the best possible way. I'm squirmining in my seat at the thought of them having done the deed LOL good story!

[NoctiaoftheNight]

Aw, how perfectly horrifying!