Inflorescence

by Reptilicus

Hey little sister what's your vice and wish

The fear and grief that had filled Twilight's form during her hasty escape from the castle was quickly being replaced by vast amounts of frustration which stemmed from several things. For starters, Twilight had no idea how to find Princess Luna in the giant golden city of Canterlot. To make matters worse, she was looking for Luna while also trying to hide. Word had already spread of what had happened to the Princess, and some ponies were already panicking in the streets. Twilight was determined to keep a low profile, which meant flying from rooftop to rooftop, observing the streets below and staying in the shadows. What little practice Twilight had for flight had clearly not done her as much good as she thought, and soon her knees and hooves were scuffed from crash-landing on pavement and shingles, ruining her attempts at stealth. And then as if this all wasn't bad enough, Discord was not taking the situation seriously at all. Darting from shadow to shadow, transforming his body into all sorts of various things. At one moment he might be a hideous beast with blood red quills, the next a juggling clown, and the next a toilet with legs. All the while making loud noises and chattering to himself. A din that Twilight was trying to drown out. But the battle was being lost as Twilight grit her teeth and rounded on the old serpent.

"STOP MAKING IT WORSE!" Twilight shrieked, nearly falling over from the force of her own shouting. "STOP HAVING FUN! STOP ENJOYING THIS!"

"What on earth has gotten into you?" Discord asked with a stare as if nothing was wrong.

"YOU. You've gotten into me. I hate you so much and I can't believe you would think I'm sick enough in the head to try to murder Celestia! I LOVE Celestia! She's one of my most favorite ponies in the entire world and now she might be dead and thanks to you and your big fat stupid mouth, everyone thinks I did it!"

"What was I supposed to think?" Discord asked, arms akimbo. "I would have done that if I were in your position."

Twilight pointed a shaky hoof at him. "SEE? That's it. That's just it. Right there. That is your problem, Discord!"

"MY problem?"

"Yes YOUR problem! You think every pony should think the way you do. Act the way you do. You are so narrow-minded and shallow you think it strange that others might not share your stupid views on chaos! You're so set in your ways you can't even turn off your arrogance for a few minutes just to appreciate the fact that maybe you aren't perfect! Maybe you aren't the funniest best creature to ever grace this planet! Did that ever cross your mind? Did that ever even make a dent in your psyche? That ponies find you infuriating because you refuse to compromise? That you hurt the very ponies who still CARE about you?"

"What on earth does this have to do with Celestia?"

"IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH HER!" Twilight bellowed. "In your perverse little world you think it's perfectly ok to lie and cheat and steal and kill. But that's not how everyone else THINKS, Discord! Celestia was my friend! She taught me so much and I've known her my entire life! She practically raised me and Spike! In what deranged setting would I ever want to see her killed? You realize what you've done? Accusing me of that?! That's TREASON, Discord! I'll be tried for murder thanks to you! I'll get locked away for ages! Fluttershy will be locked up too! I'll never see Ponyville or my friends again! I'll never see Spike again! I'll never see Celestia again! Or my family! It would be the end of my life, everything I love, and the Elements of Harmony!"

Twilight fell to the ground, laying on her belly, using her wings to cover her face as months of frustration poured from her, wailing loudly on the silent rooftop.

"Would that make you happy, Discord? You'll have the whole stupid world to rule over, again."

"No it wouldn't." Discord replied very quietly, causing Twilight to lift her head. "In fact I couldn't think of a worse punishment in all of my days."

With a slight crouch to his step, Discord walked over to where Twilight lay, sitting down in front of her, his face full of pity.

"Twilight I don't think you get....me. Which is a rather common thing, I'm rather complex. Few get me. You see my dear, I try to find happiness in my own way. Some ponies think me cruel because I spent a very long time not caring about what happened to others while I continued living my rather pleasant, although hedonistic lifestyle. But you know why I did what I did Twilight? Do you know why I made the world of ponies my own personal puppet show? Made them dance and sing for my own amusement?"

Twilight shook her head.

"Because I was lonely. Because I was bored. Both results of having no friends. Nobody was ever going to like me and I had long since stopped trying to achieve what I thought was a very lofty and stupid goal. For eons, Twilight, I lived this way! Believing that happiness could only be TAKEN and not SHARED. Living in an ocean of selfishness! It took one day....one very amusing but reflective day....with Fluttershy to prove me wrong. You haven't lived as long as I have, Twilight. And I hope you never do because it is awful but...to realize.... that you've been wrong about everything for centuries upon centuries....is a tremendous experience. Never have I been so devastated and happy all at once. I had a friend. A real legitimate one. Not someone pretending to like me out of fear."

Discord scratched his knees, pulling out a few colorful frogs and setting them aside as he glowered.

"But being wrong doesn't change who I am, Twilight. And as much as Celestia may brag about LOVE and how pure its magic is, she doesn't understand that my magic is pure as well. Oh yes! But it's the opposite spectrum to that of love. I am chaos, Miss Sparkle. I am the base that forms everything." Discord stood, rising to his full height, looking very intimidating. "I am pandemonium. I am the unidentifiable cry in the night that makes little ones scared to sleep. I am the darkness of the sea where only monsters dare tread. I am the shattered glass in an old house. I am the whirlwind that destroys the town. I am the spatters of rain in the storm. I am the dirt in the wind. I am the adrenaline of a broken mind! I am the void that the stars and planets happily sit in, never once thanking me for all I provide! That is what I am. I can't change that, Twilight. Not immediately. I'm old. I'm an old man and I'm still trying very very slowly to change myself. Make myself better so I can fit into this new world. Make myself better so I can be a better friend to others."

He bent low, picking up the quivering purple alicorn in his arms, gently holding her up so he could see her face to face.

"You think you're scared Celestia might die? You think you're scared you may never see Fluttershy again? Think, Twilight, THINK. THINK about me. Think about CHAOS. Do you truly believe I would ALLOW such things to happen? Do you really think I'd risk making my friends, my only friends, MISERABLE? Especially if I had a way of preventing it? How silly! You silly pony! I'm not shallow. Nor am I simple. Believe it or not, I AM your friend, Princess Twilight. You need to have faith in me as you do, your fair Celestia."

"What....what do you mean...Discord?" Twilight asked, trembling.

"If Celestia dies I will simply undo it. If you and Fluttershy are torn apart from each other, I will undo it. I have that power, Twilight. I have more power than you ponies could ever imagine! Celestia feared me for a reason. The Gates of Tartarus are MINE to control. I am CHAOS. I can bend the stars, atoms, time itself to my very will! I can bend it as easily as I will bend this delicious bar of candy! DELICIOUS." Discord then proceeded to pull out a chocolate heath bar with almonds, bend it, then chew it noisily. It sort of ruined the serious air of his speech, but he had a point to make.

"Do you think I don't care for Celestia? My former MORTAL ENEMY who took me into her home? Who cared for me? Who treated me like a brother? Do you think I don't care about YOU, Twilight? A tiny girl whose life I nearly destroyed, whose friends I corrupted into irreconcilable fiends, who found it in herself to forgive me not once, but twice? Are you daft? Are you mad, woman? I'm DISCORD! I'd never let anything so awful happen to ANY of you."

"Are you saying you like us, Discord?" Twilight asked, her eyes filling with hope. "And that you're honestly trying to help? This isn't another trick?"

"More or less, yes. I am your...ugh....ally, Twilight." Discord said with a grimace. "Or at least I'd like to be. And that my dear, is why you need to stop lying around crying and help me find Luna. And for heaven's sake get a grip. I'd prefer NOT to have to reset the universe to fix all the problems we are dealing with tonight. So the faster we find Luna the better. Less work for me. Less tears for you."

"You can really reset the entire universe?" Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I can. It's the only way to pull an immortal from Tartarus. Done it before when I accidentally created an infinite elephant. I might have actually created the universe now that I think about it." Discord scratched his head. "I'm not sure now. It's been a while. Can't remember things as well as I used to. Did I mention by the way that I'm very very old?"

"You did." Twilight said with a smile, feeling at ease for once in the clutches of a creature she had long regarded as a monster.

"Good! Now...." Discord placed Twilight on back onto the roof, his eyes shifting side to side to be sure nobody was overhearing. "Now with the friendly formalities out of the way....be honest with me. Did you try to kill Celestia tonight?"

"No!" Twilight said with a grumble. "How many times do I have....why? Why would I even...WHY!?"

"Alright, alright!" Discord said, backing up. "I believe you, now. Merely asking. Of course if you didn't....then that means someone else did. And they somehow did so by sabotaging you and Fluttershy's delectable dessert. It's a heinous thing, ruining a perfectly good dessert by turning it into a weapon. Weaponized cake! How foul! Yet genius all the same."

"Yes...." Twilight scrunched her face up in thought. "I can't imagine who would do such a thing. Celestia doesn't have many enemies...."

"Ho ho!" Discord chuckled. "She has many more than you think, little miss-know-it-all. You should ask her one day why the antelope kingdom want nothing to do with her or Luna. Of course, all her enemies are cowards for the most part. Besides former younger me, that is. I was always pretty brave. Lady villains were always asking for my phone number because of my courage."

"These jokes...." Twilight said with a frown. "Not really a good time for them."

"Yes yes." Discord rolled his eyes. "So serious all the time, bleh. Anyway, you and Fluttershy are innocent of tampering with the dessert. Did anyone else help you make that cake? A friend? A relative? A random stranger on the street who just so happened to be conveniently nearby with a baking pan?"

"None of those things." Twilight grinned, but it fell off her face very fast. "Oh wait....wait...but...Applejack did help us make the cake. But Applejack wouldn't hurt Celestia. Ever."

"She's the one with the hat, yes?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm yes she seemed very friendly from what I saw when I peeped into her head and made her into a liar. Less abrasive than the blue pegasus one. Not all tomboys can be cute and cuddly I suppose."

"DISCORD!"

"Sorry sorry! Chaos! Old! Maybe whomever your apple friend bought her ingredients from is responsible for Celestia's near death experience. Are cakes still made of ingredients? Flour and eggs and whatnot? I was in that rock for a very long time, so a lot of this new technology is a mystery to me. For all I know cakes come out some space-age plastic tube now."

"Yes Discord, cake is still made of those things." Twilight deadpanned.

"Ah good, glad some things haven't changed. Back in my day, when I ruled everything, we didn't have any fancy ovens or microwaves. All we had was fire. And we had to walk fifteen miles in the snow both ways to get it. With as many conveniences as you ponies have now, it's a wonder you all aren't incredibly fat. No need for hard work anymore."

"DISCORD!"

"Whoops! Off-topic once more! Apologies again, my dear."

"It's fine." Twilight sighed, rolling her eyes. "I think I know who we need to visit to find Luna."

"Who?"

"Rarity. Rarity was in contact with Luna not long after Luna's disappearance. If anyone can help us, Rarity can."

"Ah the fashion designer who's been chatting with Celestia the last few weeks. You know I was thinking of asking her to make me a suit but I realized I'm far more beautiful when I'm naked."

Twilight laughed aloud, causing Discord to smile.

"One point for Discord! I knew I could make you laugh if I kept trying!"

"Yeah you got me." Twilight replied with a grin. "Alright I'm going to teleport us to the park. Rarity and the rest are supposed to be there."

"Why not let ME teleport us?" Discord asked. "You shouldn't be spending all your energy warping my handsome visage around town."

"Erm.....I guess....." Twilight fidgeted.

"Think of it as a trust exercise! Think how happy Fluttershy will be to know we're getting along."

Twilight frowned a bit. "No funny business."

"Twilight Sparkle...when am I EVER funny?" Discord's face split into a devilish grin as there was a loud snap and a flash of light.

The purple alicorn and old chimera were soon lost from sight, vanishing into the grey smoke that they'd left behind on the rooftop.

*******************************************************

Three tiny ponies scrambled happily over the metal jungle gym in the middle of Canterlot Gardens, the park located on the northeast side of Canterlot. Long since forgetting or caring about getting their cutie marks, they played. For a brief time, the children forgot entirely about trying to grow up as fast as they could, instead absorbing the unending joy that came from their own imaginations as they climbed, tussled, and jumped all over the metal dome structure. In months they had not seen each other, and now had the whole day to frolic, their elder sisters sitting by, watching over them and chatting amongst themselves. It was perfect weather for chatting. The afternoon sun was beginning to dip, and a cool breeze was rustling through the willow trees that filled the park, sprinkling their thin green leaves to the ground.

Rainbow Dash sat on a tree branch, overlooking the playground, watching her new relative like a hawk. Applejack and Rarity sat on the ivory park bench on the sidelines, with Rarity grilling Applejack about the goings-on in Ponyville.

"Fluttershy wrote me letters, you know. Trying to keep in touch since we couldn't gossip at the spa." Rarity began, leaning back against the bench and turning toward Applejack who was trying to feign disinterest.

"Sounds nice." Applejack mumbled. "I was never good at writin'."

"She said in one of them that the Sweet Apple Acres were turning a profit for the first time in a while."

"Yeh it has. Me n' the family decided to start sellin' apples directly to bakeries outside Ponyville. It's worked pretty well I guess."

"Oh? How well? Sorry to pry but I want to alleviate my fears for your well-being."

"We made about three times as many bits as usual. Three times as much as our quota we hadn't really been meetin'. Granny was sort of opposed to the idea but...she came around once the money started comin' in. And she loved the idea when the money didn't really stop. So it's been goin' pretty swell."

"That is simply marvelous!" Rarity shouted, "I don't know what I'd do if your farm closed down. It's like a monument in our town, isn't it? One of the first things visitors see when they arrive, and the last thing they see before they go. I hope it stays around for a long time. I'd hate for you and your family to be homeless."

"Me too, Rare. I don't know what I'd do if'n the farm closed down."

There was a loud shout from Rainbow Dash from the tree overhanging the playground.

"SCOOT! Don't jump all over the monkey bars like that! You're gonna hurt yourself!"

"Yeah yeah!" the small orange filly pouted, fluffing her feathers up and climbing sullenly from the structure with a hop.

Rarity couldn't help but smile as she observed Rainbow Dash keenly playing watchdog for her ward. Rarity had been worried Rainbow might not be up to the task of caring for a child but it seemed like things had gone well thus far.

"So how ARE things with Dash and the little one?" Rarity asked, taking a sip of tea. "I wish I hadn't had to leave town right as the two were bonding. I was hoping I might be able to lend some helpful advice to Rainbow, provided she came asking."

"She still might, Rare. Ya saw how broken up she got when Scootaloo was sleepin' in the sock drawer. You'd think she'd hurt the lil' darlin' or somethin'." Applejack shook her head. "But yeah things have been fine. Odd a little I guess. Dash carries Scootaloo around in that thing."

Applejack pointed to the foal carrier that was draped into a pile near the water fountain.

"Really? Now that I must see." Rarity chuckled. "Dash carrying around a child as if it was her own."

"Scoot might as well be at this point. Dash cares for that lil' filly as if it were her own flesh n' blood. Celestia knows her parents sure don't seem concerned for her well-bein'. Too drunk I guess." Applejack snorted derisively.

"Speaking of drinking...." Rarity began, her tone lowering to signify she was about to tread upon a more serious subject, wrinkling her snout in a very critical way. "Rainbow Dash told me something very...interesting this morning, over breakfast."

Applejack felt the hairs on the back of her neck stick up. "Yeh? What'd she have to say?"

"She said you've been drinking." Rarity stated haughtily, furrowing her brow a bit. "Specifically that you've been drinking cider rather heavily, by the hill near the Ponyville Train Station. Almost every day."

"And what if I was." Applejack grumbled, looking away.

"'And what if I was?' Is that really all you have to say about that?"

"What do you want me to say, Rare? It helps the time pass. Gets my mind off my troubles."

"Time pass? What were you waiting for? Me to return?" Rarity snickered a bit.

"Yeah actually." Applejack frowned, feeling her insides knot up. "With the harvest over I just couldn't find nothin' to preoccupy myself with most days. My mind started wanderin'. Went to some dark places I didn't wanna think about. I can't remember what I used to do all day before we became friends, Rarity. Thought I'd just...fill all my free time with work. But then I did all the work and had nothin' left to do. Took a day or so and I realized I can't....function without all my friends. 'Specially you, Rare. So I just waited. And drank a lot I guess. Scold me if ya want."

"I won't scold you. Though I should." Rarity let out a long sad sigh. "The truth is, I've been in the same boat. Applejack this city is breathtaking. It has everything I could ever want. Everything my business could ever need. But it doesn't have my friends. So many nights I spent...just...crying. Sweetie Belle, as well. It was like someone tore off a piece of me. I couldn't sleep. Couldn't work. Couldn't think. It was worse for Sweetie since there are so few fillies here. It felt like I was punishing her. I'm not bringing her again, even if she begs. Assuming I ever dare return this way, without you and the others. It's much too hard, darling! I did so well here. I've made more money than I could ever imagine. But it came at the cost of having nobody to REALLY talk to for nearly two months. I've never made myself so many hastily-tossed together rum runners and martinis. I can't do this again. I'm a social pony but even Hoity Toity's crowd of phonies can't keep me interested."

"Yeah it's been hard on Applebloom and Scootaloo, too. Bloom's always askin' me when Sweetie's gonna be back home. Scootaloo has her new home to distract her a bit, but I know she's been chatterin' Dash's ear off, askin' the same questions."

Rarity smiled, watching the three tiny ponies play. "It makes me feel so much better to see the three of them together again. I'm glad we're all together again as well."

Rarity reached over and pulled Applejack into hug, which Applejack was more than happy to return. Gently Applejack wrapped her strong limbs around Rarity's delicate form, feeling like her heart was splintering from the contentment that had thundered into it, releasing all the pent up feelings Applejack had tried to ignore by drinking. Grief and loneliness broiled inside the farmer as she held her friend, for the first time in what seemed like ages. It churned up into her throat and eyes, eliciting a few sniffles and quiet sobs.

"Are you....crying Applejack?" Rarity asked, starting to pull away as tenderly as she could.

"I dunno. I guess, a little." Applejack tried to swallow back her tears, feeling a bit of shame.

But the feeling passed as she noticed Rarity appeared to be blinking away a few tears of her own.

"Oh goodness!" Rarity clucked, mostly to herself, as she pulled out a kerchief and dabbed at her face. "I'm a bit on edge. It's been much too long since I've seen any of you."

"Sorry, Rare." Applejack mumbled, blushing. "I ain't one to cry, usually. Just missed ya so much."

"Oh it's fine. It's fine. I suspect there will be more tears before we all get back on that train. Too much happiness to go around. Isn't it amusing in a way how much life can change? A year ago we couldn't stand each other, and now each of us needs the others company to not get all distraught."

"Yeah...I guess that is kinda odd. How much we've changed."

Applejack leaned back against the bench, feeling relieved and content for the first time in a while, wiping away the stray tears with her forelimb. It struck Applejack that all this time she and Rarity had been discussing matters at home and not how the unicorn's business trip had been.

"How ya likin' Canterlot anyways?" Applejack asked, watching Applebloom build a sand castle. "Outside a' business stuff."

"Well.... besides the drinking to stave off the crushing loneliness it's been a ball, I suppose." Rarity leaned back against the bench as well, staring at her hooves. "Even convinced Sweetie to sing in front of a crowd at Vinyl Scratch's club."

"That so? How'd she do?"

"She loved it, Applejack. Her stagefright went away the moment the spotlights shown on her." Rarity sighed happily. "I knew she'd love the attention. She's going to be a singer, Applejack. And I hope maybe if anything, this trip gave her the boost she needs to realize what her special talent is and get her cutie mark."

"That's wonderful, Rare. Sweetie'll probably be the first out of those three to figure it out. We'll have to throw a mighty big hootenanny for her when it happens. Bloom ain't tried buildin' much of anything since the tree house. I'm scared she's gonna be a late...bloomer. Kids in school tease her enough as it is."

"Why not encourage her to build YOU something?" Rarity asked, tilting her head to look at Applejack. "Faust knows the little thing worships the ground you walk on."

"Well that's just it! I don't need nothin' built!" Applejack shook her head again. "Shoot, wish I did. I want her to figure it out, Rare. I do. So she can shove it in the face of all those bullies."

"Why not have her try to build something that slices up apples? Or peels them? Or grinds them into applesauce? Something to help speed up work on the farm?" Rarity offered.

Applejack snorted and raised an eyebrow. "Sure! We can all it the Super Seedy Spider Sneezy 6000 or somethin'."

"Point taken." Rarity said with a grin, leaning back against the bench. "Or perhaps you could get Applebloom to make you a sewing machine for waxed thread so you can fix that ghastly looking tear in the brim of your hat."

Applejack took her brown stetson off her head, fumbling with it, casting a quick hopeful glance at Rarity, then back to the hat.

"Oh? That look, hm? You want ME to fix it?" Rarity asked, her smile broadening.

"Yer the only one I'd trust with it."

"Would you like me to trim your mane as well." Rarity giggled a bit as she motioned to Applejack's unkempt golden locks. "You look like you haven't had it cut since I left town."

"I...s..s'pose that'd be alright if'n it wouldn't be too much work for ya." Applejack mumbled, feeling herself blush slightly.

"I can and will. Although you really shouldn't wait so long to get it trimmed. I know you don't like to 'gussy yourself up' as you so eloquently put it. But, your bangs are hiding your beautiful eyes, you know. It's such a shame."

Rarity's horn glowed with a pale periwinkle blue, a small cloud of warm magic dust surrounding Applejack's forehead as her blonde bangs were pushed aside, tucked neatly behind her fuzzy orange ears. Though she'd never admit it out loud, Applejack loved when Rarity fussed with her. It made her feel pampered, and pretty. Which were two things the farmer pony was never described as within earshot, even though at times she really wished she was. It had been so long since Rarity had fussed with Applejack's hair, the farmer lost herself in the sensations, bowing her head and being silent as Rarity tried to get her looking presentable. A soft affectionate nicker escaped Applejack's mouth as Rarity worked, causing the farmer pony to look up and blush in shock that she'd made such an intimate sound. Rarity just grinned cheekily and raised her eyebrows in mock surprise.

"Well, then! You really DID miss me, hm?"

Applejack's face turned red as she cleared her throat.

"S...Sorry."

"I have that effect on many ponies." Rarity bragged with a wink, poking Applejack in the snout with one of her cloven white hooves. "Boop! It's part of being as fabulous as I am. Oh would you look at that!"

Rarity pointed her hoof at the nearby willow tree, a coy grin on her face.

"Pinkie has appeared out of nowhere."

"She tends to do that." Applejack said with a shrug.

"Ah yes, but I noticed her stealing a quick kiss from Dash. They think I didn't see it. And Dash didn't seem annoyed or aggravated."

Applejack scratched her head with a hoof. "So that means....the little talk we had with Dash went well I guess."

"I was wondering why Pinkie had such a bounce in her step this morning. She's always been such a naturally bouncy pony. But she was bouncing more than usual. And a sillier smile on her face than she usually has. She didn't say a thing to me though."

"Maybe she wanted it to be secret?" Applejack mumbled, putting her hat back on. "Can't imagine why."

"Did Fluttershy and Twilight come right out and tell everyone they were dating?"

"Nah, I don't think so. Pinkie let it slip. It was a surprise, sorta." Applejack grinned. "You shoulda seen the look on their faces, Rare. Looked plum horrified. Everyone took it pretty well, I guess."

"I'm sure they were terrified how the rest of us might react."

"Think Pinkie n' Dash might feel that same way?"

"Certainly. I always had a small inkling Fluttershy might prefer mares." Rarity went back to watching her little sister play. "Just as I always suspected Dash of being more fond of Pinkie than probably even she realized."

Applejack wrinkled her snout. "How'd ya figure that stuff out?"

"Subtle things. The way Fluttershy could only talk to mares without going dead silent from shyness. Or how as much as Rainbow Dash likes to roughhouse, she never would with Pinkie. Remember the time she chipped your tooth by crash landing on top of you?"

"Yeah I do." Applejack laughed aloud at the memory. "I remember the time she accidentally gave ya a black eye, Rare."

"Quite the shiner, it was. She was so embarrassed and ashamed. She was like my personal slave that week, trying to earn my forgiveness. But you know despite how rough Dash is...I always noticed....never with Pinkie. She always treated Pinkie with the same sort of physical tenderness that she now treats Scootaloo with. A soft touch, as if handling something precious to her. Same way she held that trophy she brought home. It's those little subtle nuances in a pony's body language I always pick up on, you know. I can always tell what's in a pony's heart. Just as I can always tell if a pony has feelings for another one. That stuff never gets by me. I have an eye for that kind of detail. Never miss it." Rarity gave the briefest of sly glances towards Applejack, who was doing her best not to look back.

Applejack's breath caught in her throat for a second. It almost seemed like a dare. Like Rarity was testing her to look over, lock eyes with her, and spoil the secret Applejack had been harboring. But Applejack nodded her head in agreement, continuing to stare out into the park. Rarity turned back to watch her little sister frolic around the sandcastle that her friend had built.

Pinkie had managed to scramble up to the tree branch Dash was laying on, a paper bag clutched in her mouth. Dash had been too preoccupied to even notice the pink pony slyly creeping along the branch, setting the bag down, and growing ever close. Dash nearly jumped when she felt a warm kiss on the side of her mouth, quickly whipping around and feeling elated that it was Pinkie.

"Hey pal! What's in the paper bag? Hooch?" Rainbow asked with a mischievous grin.

"Open it. It's for you!" Pinkie squeezed low to the branch, slinking underneath Rainbow as the pegasus opened the bag slowly, unaware of Pinkie wrapping her torso around Rainbow's backside, like a pink boa constrictor. The pink pony smiled eagerly as she rested her chin on Dash's shoulder.

"Pinkie is this a......"

"A cinnamon muffin with cottage cheese filling!" Pinkie giggled happily to herself. "I know how much you like cottage cheese cause whenever you came into Sugarcube Corner you always liked to put it on bagels! And you would always get the cheesecake for dessert! When I got back from shopping I thought you might be hungry for lunch sooooooOOOOooo...I made you this."

Dash sat quietly staring at the muffin, as if deep in thought. Nearly an entire minute ticked by as Pinkie's smile began to fade.

"What's wrong? Not hungry?"

"Pinkie um....are...are we supposed to be getting each other gifts and stuff already?" Dash asked, shifting uncomfortably as she stared at Pinkie. Her ruby eyes looking confused, with a tiniest hint of fear and regret.

"What do you mean, Dashie?" Pinkie asked.

"Well I mean like...now that....me n' you are....an item or whatevs...like...was I supposed to get you something after our first kiss or....I mean..." Dash let out a long sigh as she tried to get her thoughts in order. "I'm sorry, Pinks. I'm really not very good at this whole relationship thing. Like I don't even know what I'm doing so...I mean...if you were expecting a gift..."

Pinkie giggle-snorted loudly, nearly falling off the branch.

"That's the silliest thing I ever heard! And NOOOO of course I didn't expect a gift! This muffin isn't a gift either, you silly filly! It's just a muffin! What kind of weirdo would give a muffin as a gift? Huh? HUH? Cause that would be weird!"

Dash let out a relieved sigh. "Ok good. I was worried I was screwing this up already somehow."

"I know you aren't the type of pony who just gives out gifts willy-nilly! That's my job. I like you just as you are, Rainbow. But I suppose it would be nice if we got each other little things every once in a while. Things that aren't muffins." Pinkie drew close, rubbing her snout happily on Dash's shoulder, watching the two beautiful blue wings she'd admired for years extend outwards. "Now eat your muffin you big stinky worrywart!"

With a sheepish grin Dash bit into the baked treat, letting out a small squeal of glee.

"Oh my gosh...that is so amazingly good." Dash mumbled as crumbs flew from her mouth, consuming the entire muffin within a bit or two. She smiled and nipped at Pinkie's ear, causing the earth pony to laugh and blush. "Thanks, Pinks. You always find a way to make my day better. Wish I'd realized that sooner."

"It's ok." Pinkie's voice dropped in pitch slightly as she spoke softly. "I never thought I'd ever even get this far."

"I never thought my first kiss would be....." Dash suddenly turned her head to the left, adopting a very sour and annoyed expression. "SCOOTALOO! What did I JUST say about those monkeybars? I swear if I catch you jumping across them again I'm gonna ground ya once we get back to Ponyville. I don't wanna but I will."

Scootaloo ruffled her feathers up again, trying to look intimidating, giving Dash a defiant look. But try as she might, the small orange foal didn't really have the willpower to disobey Rainbow so openly. With a grumble she hopped off the monkeybars again, landing in the sand and scuttling back over to the sand castle with her friends in tow.

Watching the pegasus's annoyed expression soften as her disobedient ward slouched away, Pinkie couldn't help but admire Rainbow. The cocky pegasus had always been so brash and unruly, never able to be responsible about anything besides her job. And that was an obligation. But still, she'd managed to surprise everyone when she'd decided to care for Scootaloo. Announcing it passively during a sleepover and acting like it wasn't a big deal. Dash was always that way, making big deals seem....not so big.

"You've been such a good new mommy for her!" Pinkie slurred as she leaned against Rainbow, surprised to see Dash frown and flinch. "What?"

"Don't...call it that." Dash muttered, looking worried.

"Why not?"

"I dunno!" Dash flailed her arms a bit. "It's inappropriate. She still has a mom."

"Have you met her?"

"Not since the night I walked Scoot home from the camping trip. I've never seen a pony look so disappointed to have their child back. Now I know why AJ was so upset after we got back from rescuing the kids from the changelings. You know how AJ is when she sees bad parents."

Pinkie scratched her head. "Applejack always makes Scootaloo's family sound pretty icky."

"Yeah well they are. I guess. You can tell from meeting them they never planned on having kids. They treat Scoot like she was some sort of accident. It's no wonder the kid latched onto me. I mean...I am the coolest pony in Ponyville. But I'm not her mom."

"You know she calls you that!" Pinkie sang quietly aloud in a slightly mocking tone.

"Calls me what? Mom?"

Pinkie nodded. "MMMmm Hm! Yuppers yup! Whenever those three are in Sugarcube Corner and start talking about their homework or chores or other stuff that keeps them from hanging out, she always refers to you as her mommy. I always thought it was sooooooooooo cute! But then again I guess anything little kids say is cute because they're little kids. Like if a tiny little baby came up to me and threatened to stab me with a knife or something I'd probably say 'awwww aren't you so cute' and then get stabbed. And I'd still be going 'awww' while I was bleeding too and they were dragging the baby to jail and I was in the grave and......Dashie?"

Again the pegasus looked deep in thought, which was difficult for her in a way as while Rainbow Dash was very fast, she was not exactly the brightest pony in town. But she understood emotions, and was getting a good handle on all the new ones she'd been blessed to experience as of late. But in Pinkie's jabbering, Dash came to realize something new about herself and the small pony she'd been housing for two and a half months. A warmth spread over the mare as she glanced up from the tree branch, down at the three small fillies playing in the sand.

"Hey Pinks, gimme a second. There's something I gotta do."

"Okie Dokie!" Pinkie grinned as she watched Dash take off from the branch, ever impressed by her friend's grace and agility.

"Now what's got Dash all rustled?" Applejack mumbled, drawing Rarity's attention.

There was a moment of quiet in the park as Dash hugged Scootaloo fiercely. The filly was confused at first but, realizing she was in the embrace of her hero, quickly hugged back. It was the sort of moment that would have been very touching had a giant sharp eagle claw not suddenly burst forth from the sand. Several curse words came from Dash's mouth as she quickly grabbed the other two fillies and flew to the tree where Pinkie sat in panic. Applejack was on her hooves immediately, gaping in horror as the talons swished about, moments before a second arm this one coated in hazel fur like that of lion burst out a few meters next to the talons. Both groped the air as a large lump in the sand grew and grew, plastic shovels and playground equipment falling everywhere.

"BRAINS! BRRRAIIIIIINNNNNSSS!!!!" bellowed a deep familiar voice beneath the sand, as a long sinewy feathered body achingly pulled itself out from under the ground. "I say! BRRAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNSSSSS!"

"YAY! A zombie invasion!" Pinkie squeaked hopping up and down merrily, and then stopping as a moment of clarity hit her sugar-addled mind. "Wait! I mean.....AAAAAAA! ZOMBIE INVASION!"

"And I ain't got mah shotgun!" Applejack cried, backing away in fear and nearly toppling over Rarity who was cowering behind the farmer.

"Oh for heaven's sakes! Put a sock in it, Discord!" came Twilight's voice from somewhere unknown.

The sand and playground equipment shifted away from the creature revealing that it was, in fact, Discord looking very annoyed as his jaw creaked open, his tongue unfolding into a red staircase as Twilight crawled from his mouth and down the tongue-stairs rolling her eyes.

"You ponies are so dull, sometimes." Discord muttered as he looped his tongue around his arm like a garden hose before stuffing it back into his mouth. "Speaking of which, hello friends of Fluttershy, we're in need of assistance from one of you. The fancy one, specifically."

"Twilight!" Rarity shouted, bounding forward with a comb in tow. "You look DREADFUL, darling! Did Discord do this to you? Oh that brute!"

"Oh please." Discord muttered. "She's looked like this for the last half hour."

"Rarity there's no time!" Twilight shouted, swatting the comb away. "We're in a real emergency right now and we need your help!"

"Emergency? What's happened?" Rarity's eyes grew wide.

"Well I.... uh....it involves Celestia. She's very very hurt at the moment and I need to speak to Luna! As quickly as possible! How do I get into contact with her? Show me!"

Rarity shuffled slightly, sitting softly on her haunches. "Oh well, there's a signal spell I use that calls to her. She usually does it for me when she wants to talk. It's sort of like a dream-based radio beacon I suppose."

"TEACH ME!" Twilight begged.

"I can't, Twilight." Rarity grinned sheepishly. "I can only do it for the same reason Luna can. We were both Nightmare Moon and it affected us both in odd ways. We have a sort of...connection. It's not a spell I can really.....teach."

"Oh no!" Twilight looked defeated, slumping to the ground. "Now what am I supposed to do?"

"Oooh! Ooh! Pick me!" Discord shouted, waving his arm in the air.

Applejack sighed, putting a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Sure why not, sugarcube. Let's see what Discord thinks."

"Look what's above my head!" Discord announced gleefully.

Several sets of eyes looked upward to see a large gleaming cartoonish light-bulb hanging in the air above Discord's noggin.

"A....uh light-bulb?" Rarity offered.

"Yes it is. Do you know what it means?" Discord asked slyly, his eyebrows gyrating seductively. "It's a rhetorical question, don't bother. It means I have an idea! And it's quite a stunner amongst the gold I usually think up."

Discord grabbed the floating bulb in his claw, took a few hops back winding up his arm, and hurled the light into the sky where it quickly shrunk and vanished as it soared. For a moment they all stared at the horizon, waiting for something to happen. With a loud honking sound there was a burst of green fireworks in the sky followed by a large silly-looking green moon. On the face of the moon was Discord's eyes and mouth. The mouth stuck out it's tongue and began blowing loud raspberries while a group of giant neon letters orbited the small planet saying simply, "LUNA. RARITY. HELP."

"You....you've made a false moon that makes....farting sounds?" Rarity minced, giving Discord a look of heavy disapproval. "That's a bit childish don't you think?"

"First of all, little miss ignorance, those are called raspberries. They are a mouth sound, not a butt sound. However if you'd prefer me to make it play a cheerful symphony of flatulence, then I can easily change it."

"No don't!" Twilight begged.

"DO IT!" Pinkie squeaked happily from up in the tree.

"Pinkie, shush." Rarity deadpanned.

"Discord how is yer chaos magic supposed to help Twilight find Luna with that thing?"

Discord guffawed loudly to himself, wiping away a few tears of merriment.

"Oh you ponies!" He began, chuckling occasionally as he spoke. "So shortsighted when it comes to chaos."

"Well why shouldn't they be?" Twilight challenged. "All it causes is trouble."

"Trouble? Oh please. Every time something new and daring comes along you label it as trouble. You should all be so grateful to me for providing these fresh experiences. Do you know what real trouble is? It's the thousands of soldiers Celestia has at her command who truly believe they are the main line of defense should Equestria ever find itself in conflict with things from beyond its borders. It's the belief that Celestia is perfect and has never made a mistake and will always be around to watch over all you little ponies. A story you ponies tell yourselves over and over and over until you've all forgotten its a lie!"

"And I supposed you'd prefer if we abandoned our faith in Celestia?" Rarity asked curtly.

"And put the whole country in yer hands? So it could be a big pit o' chaos that only you could enjoy again?" Applejack seconded.

"A pit of chaos? Oh don't be so naive, ponies. Chaos is a good thing. This moon is a good thing. It's saving you! And much like how I pulled myself from the sand, so too can you from this troubling situation if you simply choose to believe that I am not your enemy. Chaos is not a pit, my dear ponies. It's a ladder! Many besides myself have tried to climb it. They never got very far. They lacked my tenacity. The fall breaks them. Just like old Starswirl the bearded." Discord snorted with giggles to himself. "And some, like your friend Fluttershy, are given a chance to climb. But they refuse. They cling to what they think is happiness. To their faith in Celestia. To the power of love."

Discord curled into a ball, slowly rolling around the group.

"But these of course, are all illusions. Only the ladder is real. And all that matters is the climb." Discord came to a halt in front of Rarity, flashing a charming smile. "Tell me Rarity. What do you believe will happen when Luna sees that moon in the sky with your name on it? Where do you think the first place she's going to rush to is? Home? Neighagra Falls?"

"Well I suppose she'll......" Rarity thought for a moment. "Go...to...the cafe that I always meet her in secret at.....the one on the corner of Acorn Street."

"Then that is where Twilight and I must go!" Discord grinned cheekily, giving Rarity a gold star sticker like a teacher to a student. "You did very well. You've learned the first law of chaos: it is neutral! And now I must bid you all good day!"

Twilight looked mortified as Rarity and Applejack both gave her a questionable look. "He's honestly a nice guy. He's just...you know....off."

"Off, eh?" Discord replied, picking Twilight up and taking to the sky. "We'll see who is off once we find Luna. Thank you again, Rarity. I shall have to commission you to make me a fetching hat when I return."

"HEY DISCORD!" came a high pitched scratchy voice from the willow tree next to the demolished playground.

Discord turned abruptly to see Rainbow Dash staring at him from it's boughs, a look of admiration on her face and a Scootaloo clutched in her arms.

"That prank where you made everyone think you were a zombie just now....." Rainbow raised a hoof. "That was rad, man. Prank of the year material. I'd give you a thumbs up but ponies don't have thumbs."

"Well then allow me!" Discord shouted happily as he gave the group below two thumbs up, disappearing into the clouds with Twilight.

The two flew over the city of Canterlot, long shadows beginning to form over the smaller buildings as the sun was starting to set. It would be evening soon. And the constant PBBBBTBTBTBTBBTB noises from Discord's moon weren't very comforting as the two of them flew.

"It really does sound a bit like farts." Twilight muttered aloud.

"Oh I know." Discord said with an evil smile. "That's what makes it fun!"

"Do you also find it fun to scare my friends?" Twilight asked.

"Mmmmmm.....maybe a little."