I have finally finished the first chapter rewrite on The Flightless of the Fighters. Please give any feedback that thou thinks would help my story (including corrections on grammar and such).

Alright I went over my stories. and I've decided to make a couple major changes.
First: I'm going remove myself from The Flightless of the Fighters. I have a better idea for it.
Second: I'm going to rewrite Becoming Whole for...reasons.
I would also like everypony to give me their input on a certain problem. The filly from Becoming Whole has a name that does not make full sense. She is going to have all the same looks but I want a different look for her. Any ideas?