I'm brand new to the whole writing a fanfic and I would really like some help with making sure my writing is clear and coherent. I'm currently trying to work on a crossover bet Transformers and mlp, more specifically Optimus being reincarnated in the world of My little pony as a...well pony. If your interested, don't be afraid to DM on discord! my username is "Engi" but if that some how does not work, look up "engineerisengihere"

While I am not going to edit it, I am going to ask some starting questions.

What makes your idea special and unique? What sort of stuff happens? Is Optimus Prime just kind of there and doing any generic transformed pony things?

How does Optimus Prime being well Optimus make his reactions different from your average Isekai protagonist? What are his goals and motivations? What's stopping him from accomplishing them? How does Optimus get around them?

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Hi!, Sorry for such a late response!

Most if not all of your questions do raise some concerns of mine, I will write these down and try to answer them while writing but I do have a question of my own. What do you mean "Optimus Prime just kind of there and doing any generic transformed pony things?"

Edit: sorry!, it took me a second to have it click for me. When you say generic do you mean what the usual "human turned pony" usually do? waking up in the Everfree, goes into ponyville and meets one of the main six or cmc, become friends, etc. Cause if you are, then no, I don't really plan for prime to interact with the main cast till a bit later.

With Optimus being 9 million years old and experiencing a lot of things from his time as a clerk, soldier, general, to eventually being the leader of his people. I genuinely think he would have interesting interactions and insight with the denizen's of equestria and different species and characters. As for his reaction to whole body transformation, someone on discord gave me some advice with that,

"I suggest trouble understanding his emotions, because as a previously biomechanical life form, fleshy bits thoughts will be strange for him, maybe not panic or issues with self control, but an odd sense of otherness"

As for his goals, right now they are to understand why he was reborn on this unknown planet and in this new body, traveling all over the planet to find answers, to find something relating to his situation and going off on that. What is stopping him? Memory loss, Yes that's a very lame reason, I know but I'm sure I can figure out something while writing this. Anyways, last thing he remembers is flying into the core of cybertron and nest thing he knows, he is on this new planet with a new body. As for getting around them? honestly, I'm still working on that.

Here's some stuff from the writing guide you could look at.

Writing a good crossover requires a deep understanding of the properties being crossed, and an ability to see their differences and similarities and meld them together in an interesting way. Don‘t just write an MLP/Halo crossover because you like both of those things – write one because you see interesting ways the elements of the properties could interact.

Regular crossovers can easily fall flat for a number of reasons:

• Too many characters. Considering MLP already has six (or seven, depending on how much you like Spike) main characters, adding another property‘s ensemble can make your story a lot harder to tell. Don‘t use more characters than you need, and avoid using any “just because”.
• A lack of conflict. A lot of crossovers doom themselves from the start by having one or two characters poof into Equestria, make friends with the ponies, and then not do very much else of interest, besides maybe looking for a way to get back to their own universe.²³ Because heroes tend to be reactive rather than proactive, it often makes for a more interesting story to bring antagonists from the crossover property to Equestria as well. Better Living Through Science and Ponies and Jack and the Ponies are two well-regarded crossovers that do this.