Hello,

I'm working on writing this fic, it's not posted yet but I'm having problems finding a place to get feedback without the story being posted on this site, please delete and disregard if this is the wrong place for this. Anyway here is a dialog snippet for my fic. Please if possible leave feedback on it. Like I said though I fully expect this to be deleted for being in the wrong place. (maybe I should give up getting feedback at all...)

Anyway Story Time:

“The Kingdom has fallen. The effects of the last spell have spread farther and faster than we thought, those who weren’t affected are being rounded up for execution.”

“What of the young ones.”

“Hit as well, only the celestial ones, escaped unscathed”

“The others?”

“They were victims of the spell, we have them hidden, but soon the three factions will be looking for them, there are so few of us left.”

“We must protect them, given time I may be able to reverse it.”

“We don’t have time Starswirl, I don’t have much longer, and with my death, Harmony’s children will have no protection.”

“What about the Crystal Princess?”

“She was hit as well, the king has perished in the war, the Princess was brought here for safekeeping, she was hit trying to protect the younger ones.”

“What should I do my queen?”

“The celestial ones will be here, the guards have them, once they get here I need you to cast a spell to take them to where they will be safe.”

“Your Highness, the spell was never tested, they, they could be lost forever.”

“If the factions get them Harmony will never return, and the children will be lost forever to us anyway. We have to give them the chance. Now we must go, We need to get them to safety.”