I've been working on a project with extensive world-building, that I would rather like to succeed, so therefore, I need help.
My story, called ShieldFall is a Metropolitan crossover in which I have placed in the far future after City on Fire(for info, click here). Hence the strange terminology when referring to magic (which is called plasm). Anyway, the source of the conflict should (hopefully) become clear to prereaders throughout the first chapter, not that it gives all that much away.

I need a (or many) prereaders to read through the first few chapters of my story, pointing out what I'm doing wrong, until I can get it to a satisfactory level of quality, I will post it on the site, but for now I need some prereaders to go through and place comments on my Google Docs version here.
And the second chapter which is here.

Thanks for the help, and please reply to the thread and on the story itself.