Transcript #12
Date: REDACTED
RDI OFFICIAL USE ONLY

From the Desk of the Director:

This was really the best take? Better than nothing, I suppose, but remind me to have a word with Special Agent Cover Story.
BEGIN_TRANSCRIPT:

*click*

“-is it on now?”

(Distant) “Yeah, go ahead.”

“Alright then. Hey, you! Are you looking for a new career path? One that lets you serve Princess Celestia, and protect the lives of the ones you love the most? Do you want to be a part of something special? Part of a team the works around the clock to protect Equestria from threats? If so, then the Royal Division of Investigations wants you.

The Royal Division of Investigations has a tremendous responsibility. We are tasked with protecting Equestria from those who wish it harm. Over the years, we have gained invaluable technology that makes life a little bit easier. Take the airplane or the computer. But with technology comes threats, threats that we are prepared to handle.

Whether it be a threat overseas or on our soil, the RDI is ready to defend Equestria from all threats, domestic or foreign. There is no greater satisfaction than that of serving your country. Join the RDI now!

… We good?”

(Distant) “Uh, we got a few more minutes actually.”

“Great. What do you want me to say?”

(Distant) “I don’t know, improvise something.”

“Improvise? Uh, join the RDI, you get to carry a gun and impress the mares!”

(Distant) “I don’t think you’re not allowed to say that.”

(Closer) “Well, that is why he joined the RDI."

(Laughter)

“Shut up, Wire Tap. You’re ruining my image to all the little colts and fillies listening to this!”

(Close) “Didn’t have much of an image, to begin with.”

(Distant voices, inaudible)

“What was that, Cowpony?”

(Distant, intentionally louder) “None of your business.”

“Didn't ask you, Bon Bon. Come on, Braeburn. You say something?”

(Distant, walking closer) “Nah. Nothin’ that concerns you anyways. Now can we please finish this up? We can’t leave until you’re done.”

“That’s really all you’re worried about, huh?”

(Closer, stopped) “Eeyup.”

“Well fine. How much longer do you want me to talk about the glory of working here? Oh, what if I talked about the time I had to crawl through a sewer?”

(Distant, uneasy) “Uh, you know what, I think-”

“I saw this huge rat. It was like half the size of a pony. Shone a light on it, and the darned thing snarled at me. I also saw-”

(Punch lands) “Ow! What was that for?”

(Distant, relieved) “I think we should just start over. Can you press the red square on the recorder?”

(Confused) “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I think I got it.

(Distant) “Okay, we’re starting again. Just read the paper and stop when you’re done.

(Louder) “This is recruitment advertisement for the RDI, with Special Agent Cover Story.”

(Soft, whispered) “A very special agent indeed.”

“Hey!”

(Irritated) “Take 12!”

“Hey, you! Are you looking for- Wait, wait. Did I turn it off?”

(irritated) “What do you mean? The green light went out, right?”

“Uh, green light?”

(closer) “Oh for the love of-”

“Wait, wait. I got it. I think? Uh, what if I-”

*click*

END_TRANSCRIPT

Note to [REDACTED:]

Hey, [REDACTED,] just got word that they're just going to scrap it all. We'll still get paid, thank Celestia, it's just they don't feel right to go recruiting after [REDACTED]. Just don't publish the transcript, and we'll be fine.

Thanks,

[REDACTED]

For more information, read the story: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/393069/rdi-canterlot-code-blue

Or, visit this group: https://www.fimfiction.net/group/213334/the-blueniverse