Need tips on your OC? Here's your place!! If you want critique on your OCs design, then just leave a comment and hope for the best.

(Critics: Don't be malicious. At all.)

-FanficFanatic

Make sure to use this too, helps out a lot.

Galera de Hierro/Iron Galley.
A black-maned, light-brown colored earth pony from the province of Navío; Iron was born the fourth son of the Wave Breaker clan. His father– Rompe Olas/Wave Breaker–was the patriarch of the family, and one of the few stallions that were holders of a seat in politics around Navío.
Iron was born a mute, and as such he was never destined to partake in the role of leadership his family prided itself in on the local naval forces. The unfortunate stallion was not deprived of seafaring lessons however, and soon he was as proficient as any of his brothers and sisters on the art of commandeering a vessel at sea.
He could never enroll in the royal navy as an officer–as his family tradition dictated–and as such, he purchased a local fishing company. His knowledge of the seas rendered fruits soon enough, when the small fishing business eventually boomed and flourished notoriously.
He eventually drove all competitors out of business, and took possession of their ships and establishments; all former competitors were rehired under his control at a later time.
Through such means he became one of the wealthiest stallions in Navío, and gained further wealth and honor for his clan and family.
Through fishing he became a sailor of renown and incredible skill, though his lack of speech prevented him from acquiring a mark in naval command, it did not stop him from being granted his mark in commandeering a vessel himself as its captain. Only smaller craft are his specialty, and anything larger than a galley would prove out of his specialty.
Due to him being mute, he held very little interaction with other foals his age, and the fact his father held little to no interaction with him or most of his siblings did little to aid in his social development.
His mother, Steel Corvette, was one of the many wives his father's herd held, and not one of the most important. She raised him along with her herdmates and their children, doing her best to bring him to be more social. They never did manage to overcome the barrier, and he grew lonely as a foal, becoming aggressive at strangers at the pique of his issues. Though he did manage to overcome his problems at a later age, the issue remained. His lack of communication isolated him from others, though his efforts at befriending ponies improved drastically, perhaps even to excessive extents. He became very passive and accepting when around others, a bit of a push-over if you may. He never did let it interrupt his business however, and many a friendship was lost when he had to decide between his monopoly on the local fishing business and a friend that sought leeway into it.

(Fishing companies supply food for the different races living in Equestria, and Navío holds a very large population of gryphons, thus the business.)

Critique me people, I am used to it.

804316

That name, "Navio". Let me guess, comes from the word "avian"?

804383

Nay. Navio is spanish for ship

804393

Dang it, I felt so smart too... I suppose I should actually review your OC eh? Well, The backstory is certainly original enough, along with the fact he's mute. If you want a more thorough analysis, I suggest you talk about his personality too.

804281 is there a format I should follow? Or do I just describe my oc and his/her backstory?

804433 Basically, provide an image if you can and describe your OC's background.

Hmmmmm...I guess I'll have to start drawing then :p

804410

I've edited it, thanks for the rev by the way

805050 She's the ittiest bittiest teeny tiiiiiniest bit overpowered (Having relationships with the mane six and all ((Not god-awful but not my favorite))), but I like the rest of her design.

Overall? 8/10

Name: Longshot
Species: Pegasus
Gender: Male
Coat: Gray
Mane (spikes if dragon): jet black
Tail: jet black
Eyes: Green
Cutie mark: crosshair with chisel in the center
Talent: sharpshooter/sculptor (trench art)
Personality: stoic around those he doesn't know and slightly outgoing with those he knows. Oftentimes haunted by the ghosts of his past. Guilty.
Occupation: Civil Defense coordinator (Ponyville Branch)
Height comparison: Slightly taller than the Mane 6
Build: slender
History: Longshot was born in the town of Flankridge near the Equestrian Naval Command. The second youngest of five brothers (Grapeshot, Hotshot Trickshot and Crackshot), Longshot was often considered the runt of the litter, being smaller and less muscular than the rest of his brothers. After his parents died in a Naval accident, Longshot was raised by his brother Crackshot. Longshot went to flight school where he did moderately well. He then went into Canterlot Military Academy where he majored in ancient Equestrian history with two minors in art history and sculpting. Longshot was tasked as a sighter for his older brother Crackshot but he frequently used the crossbow. When on mission, Crackshot was mysteriously killed in front of Longshot. This event remained firmly intreanched in his head and the event flashed through his mind many times. This was diagnosed later as PTSD. Blaming the Equestrian Military for his death, Longshot joined an Anti Government Rebel Group headed by the notorious criminal Al-Capony. Longshot led many raids on Equestrian facilities and almost singlehandedly started a war between the Gryphins and the Equestians after bombing the embassy at Canterlot. He thought this would avenge his brother's death. It instead more firmly cemented his PTSD. After many years of gang violence, Nightmare Moon returned and vowed to destroy the Solar Empire once and for all. The Gang 5, a group of ponies from Al capony's rebel group including Al Capony, Buckolia Tesla, Joeshoof Stallion, Joeshoof Tito and Longshot all joined Nightmare Moon's army. Longshot's mission was to assasinate the Mane 6 as they were crossing the bridge. Longshot, disgusted at the idea of shooting unarmed civilians went AWAL. Shortly afterwards, Nightmare moon was defeated. The Gang 5 were reformed along with Nightmare Moon. However, since Longshot was AWAL he was not reformed and remained on the outskirts of Ponyville. He had a small shack which he used as a woodworking shop. Longshot was haunted daily by memories of what he had done and of his brothers. He turned to alcohol abuse and drank what little he had away. A year later, Discord rose to power and attempted to capture Ponyville. After he was defeated, Twilight Sparkle was riding in a hot air balloon, assessing the damage to the surrounding area. Suddenly, the balloon lost power and Twilight Sparkle fell. Seeing her falling, Longshot instinctively caught her out of the air saving her from death. The two became friends and Longshot eventually met the rest of the Mane 6. Some liked him better than others. Applejack saw his honesty and liked him. Rainbow Dash initially despised him due to his wishy washy loyalty. Pinkie Pie liked him because she likes everybody. Rarity was shocked by his actions. Fluttershy was also fearful but saw that Longshot was only scarred and wished to help him. After an attack by the diamond dogs, Twilight Sparkle was about to be shot with a crossbow bolt. Longshot took the arrow for her claiming that she was "my friend", a term that he never used before. While recuperating at the hospital, Longshot seemed to be recovering, however he relapsed. When Celestia visited him, she noticed that a shard of dark magic still residing in his soul after the death of his brother. The Elements of Harmony were used to remove the shard, saving Longshot’s life. After being saved, Longshot returned to military service since he did not finish his tour of duty. At Fort Elusive, he met the Gang 5 again and the five all served well under Celestian command. After his service was over, the clouds of war began to grow over Equestria. The Celestian government was getting more and more repressive. Angered at this, a large group of equestrians, including the Gang 5 formed the grey coats, an organization against celestian repression. Eventually, Luna was banished to the bandlands of the south after publicly supporting the revolt. In response, Luna, the Grey Coats, republicans (an organization against the empire since its conception), Nightmare Moon remains and other rag tag organizations formed the New Lunar Republic. In the New Lunar Republic army, Longshot was assigned to Echo Flight, a branch of the New Lunar Republic’s Army Air Core. He was assigned to fly a P-47 thunderbolt due to a lack of pilots. Longshot found that he was a surprisingly good flyer but disliked flying aircraft. Gradually Echo Flight became the premiere air squadron of the NLRAAF (New Lunar Republic’s Army Air Core). Longshot participated in 15 major air battles all over Equestria. During the war, two of the Gang 5 were killed. Joeshoof Tito was shot down over Route 77 and Buckolia Tesla was killed while fighting a large laser known as the subspace gun. Longshot was once again wriddled with PTSD but his friendships with the surviving members of the Gang 5 and with Twilight Sparkle and Applejack helped him. After the war, Longshot was given a position as head of Ponyville civil defense. He was also able to open his own sculpture shop. Longshot asked Twilight Sparkle to be his special somepony but she rejected him over another stallion. Dejected, Longshot went to a bar to try to drink his miseries away. When walking there, he met Applejack who happened to be rejected on the same day. The pair then began dating.

Notes: In terms of story ideas this is the general outline of what Longshot’s life is going to be. Stories might occur before and after this timeline.

P.S. Sorry about the long history.

805794 Good point.

805916 Thanks for the advice, I'il try to fix that. Usually I'm better at not creating walls of text but I guess not today .

804281
Name: Scarlet Dagger... Or Gold as most ponies know him as.

Species: Earth Pony

Sex: Male

Coat: Bright Yellow

Mane/tail: Black

Eyes: Right, Heavy blue. Left, milky gray with scar.

Cutie Mark: Bloody Dagger

Special talent: Killing.

Personality: serious, angry when on the job. Funloving and kind around friends and family. Is not proud of past and tries to hide it from friend.

Occupation: Celestia's private assassin.

Height: average stallion

The ways mares see him: the most atractive stallion

History: Born and raised in the mountains of koltucky, with mother, father, and older brother (Unicorn). He and his brother have strage demonic powers for reasons that will be explained in a fic eventualy. When he was 4 or so he was climbing the mountains and found a tomb. There his soul was intertwined with an actient evil known as The Bronze Dragon. From that he got a helt of a sword shaped like a dragon colored bronze. A year later his parents were murdered and in an atiment to protect Scarlet Dagger, his brother lost both his front legs. They were shipped of to an orphanage where they were forced in to child labor. 2 years later, Scarlet escaped but had to leave his brother behind. Found his way to Canterlot where he became a thief known as Gold, he was homeless and needed money. When he was eight he tried to steal Celestia's crown. Nearly got it if it weren't for the princess herself stopping him, not the guards. Celestia took kindness to him and let him stay in the Castle for the night. Gold, not wanting to get in a lot of trouble behaived himself. The next day Celestia asked him his name and he said Gold, from that moment onward he went by Gold. Only one pony knew his real name, his brother. Celestia then allowed Gold to stay in the castle if he wanted. He did. Celestia raised him as a son. Gold never wanted to be treated like royalty so no pony but his good friends knew who his mother was. Gold meet Twilight, Shinnig, and Cadence and became friends with them all. In elementary school he meet his life long friend Sparky (another OC of mine). At age ten Gold was being beatin up by some bullies when he had enough and pulled out the dragon helt and a blade shot out (katana) and killed one of the bullies. He ran home and didn't notice his cutie mark. After that day ponies looked at him differently, except his friends that he didn't loose because his destiny is killing. Gold had a crush on Twilight. When he was 18 he decided he wanted to travel. So he did. Sparky joined him. On there travels the wound up in a kingdom called The Flower Kingdom. Gold fell in love with its mortal alicorn princess, Rosebud. On their wedding day Gold's demonic powers took over him and he killed every pony in the kingdom including Rosebud. Sparky lived through it but got a limp. Celestia stopped Gold by slashing his eye, thus the scar. Gold then learned that there's more the peace and love in equestria so he became an assassin for Celestia. Sparky joined him in that career. The worked for 3 years, tell they had a team of six counting them. The team was called The Blood Brothers. After 5 years as a team it broke up. Sparky and Gold continued to work as assassins for Celestia.

Name: Brownie Hoof (Too late to change it now)

History: Comes from the OUTSKIRTS of Canterlot in a place called Machine Bump, a town for the richest, which he is not.
Description: A little taller than Fluttershy, average buff, averagely handsome, less than average weight
Dark brownie body, mane and tail are milky chocolate. (I suck at this now.)