Documented by Junior Chronicler Trivian Verbosus 'Teevee' Trope in the 23rd Year of the Reign of 'The Rejuvenator' Princess Laurelore the Firsticorn, during the Second Age of Magic

Archmage Star-Swirl the Bearded:
Esteemed scholars of the Equestrian Grand Academy...I have gathered you all here today to reveal unto you, the most important development in all of recent history...I, Archmage Star-Swirl, son of Syntax of the House of Spiralis and Mimosa of the House of Dragonfish, have been granted audience...with Princess Laurelore herself. And she has disclosed to me the truth of our government, our traditions and our very civilisation. Please, hold onto your horns, my friends...The truth is...That the Protinus Oris Equus, our holy book...is a lie. She and the Bonnycorn did not create Equestria. Laurelore was born from a pony and she knows not how she was born with wings and a horn or where her powers come from. The Princess Laurelore and the other alicorns...are not actually goddesses.

Professor Enbarr Sooth: 
How dare you even say such a thing, Archmage!

Dean Wulgary Thuja: 
You are a heretic!

Librarian Pongo: 
[SAW! HIS! HORN OFF!]

Archmage Star-Swirl the Bearded: 
No! You must listen! What I say is true! She has told me so herself! Have you no faith in me?

Professor Notch Dodolander: 
That is ironic.

Lecturer Chuzzlewit Wombat: 
If the Princess isn’t the goddess she is, how do you disprove all the miracles she has performed throughout her reign? The Sinking of the Wilder Gnoss during the War for the New Valley for instance?

Archmage Star-Swirl the Bearded: 
Well...that was Laurelore, yes, but that doesn’t make her a goddess, just an incredibly powerful magical practitioner. Not enough research has gone into the study of where that magic comes from or its limits due to our belief that it is divine instead of arcane. That’s my point.

Professor Enbarr Sooth:
This is absurd!

Dean Wulgary Thuja: 
We would not even be speaking right now if the Princess did not instil the ideals of harmony upon us! Goodwill and amity itself stems from the Alicorns and without it, we would be nothing but uncivilised beasts!

Librarian Pongo: 
[TEAR HIS CUTIE MARK OFF AND MAKE HIM EAT IT!]

Archmage Star-Swirl the Bearded: 
We could always simply follow the philosophies of friendship as philosophies, a choice of lifestyle, simply because it’s the right thing to do. Divine will isn’t strictly necessary for us to be good ponies.

Professor Notch Dodolander: 
Ooh, well if the Princess isn’t a goddess, how come when I look at her Cutie Mark, I always get the unrelenting urge to kneel and pray ecstatically?!

Archmage Star-Swirl the Bearded: 
That’s...that’s a good point.

Professor Enbarr Sooth:
You are a liar and a heretic, Star-Swirl!

Professor Notch Dodolander: 
Your deceit cannot be forgiven!

Dean Wulgary Thuja: 
Take his beard from him!

Archmage Star-Swirl the Bearded:
No! Do you not see the error of your ways?! The Princess isn’t a goddess and to lump her into that obscene category is what is heresy around here! Compare, our Princess; compassionate, wise, radiant; to the ones considered ‘gods’ in this world!
The Changeling Pantheon: Headless Baby-Makers!
The Caprine Pantheon: Planetary Serial-Rapists!
The Cervine Pantheon: ‘Picnics Are Heresy’!
The Centaur Pantheon: ‘Toilet-Paper Is Heresy’!
The Yakyak Pantheon: Cosmic Pin-Wheels!
The Griffon Pantheon: Nebulous Trolls!
The Hippogriff Pantheon: Aquaman Rip-Offs!
The Minotaur Pantheon: Last Seen Lost In A Hedge Maze!
Marephistallion: The Unfunny Cobra Commander!
Superbus and Lucretia: Incestuous Barbie-Dolls!
And The Draconequui: Just Plain Nuts!!!

Lecturer Chuzzlewit Wombat: 
What about Fat?

Archmage Star-Swirl the Bearded:
You're Fat! And so's your mom!

Lecturer Chuzzlewit Wombat: 
...As ever, sir, your wit is every bit as deft as 'twere in days of old.

Archmage Star-Swirl the Bearded: 
Damn straight!

Professor Enbarr Sooth: 
Are we to understand, Star-Swirl, that the deification of Laurelore is somehow...insulting to her?

Archmage Star-Swirl the Bearded: 
Yes! Now do you see the truth?! That you even dare to compare our Princess to these tainted, amoral monstrosities is disgraceful! It is a title fallaciously forced upon her to associate her with beings of zero compassion and responsibility! No, our great Mother Firsticorn is no goddess! She is a mare! Like all of us, she is a pony! The greatest pony to exist in our world and beyond! We must all learn that a god is not intrinsically greater than us! Only those of unsound minds succumb to their deceitful promises of fame and power! We share the same blood with our magnificent Princess! We are her and she is us! She always knew this better than anypony and she wants us to embrace that same ideal! Equestria is greater than any lowly god-creature! We are the greatest civilisation in existence and the Princess is the greatest member of our civilisation! She is a pony and you will pray to her as such!
...All hail the Pony Princess of Equestria!

Scholars: 
Praise be to the Pony Princess of Equestria!
Librarian Pongo: 
[BANANA!]

Princess Laurelore:
Yay.

7500281
now that's a good joke you got there