AKA:

Now, I would just like to start this off by saying that this film is NOT my favorite film of the MCU. It's probably my second or third favorite. I couldn't really tell you with certainty. Iron Man is still my top favorite MCU movie, and I can't decide whether I like this more than The Incredible Hulk. So it's tough. Anyways, let's start this off, shall we? :D

Let's officially begin this review by starting with the good, then the bad, and then I'll go into a nonsensical fanboy flipout at you all about what I thought of Spider-Man. Okay? Okay. Let's do this.

LET'S TALK ABOUT IRON MAN!!! Now, I have to say that Iron Man is DEFINITELY the most developed character in the MCU. The way he's changed from how he's started out is just amazing, and he's honestly the best character so far. And I'm happy to say they didn't pull a complete comic book turn on us and make him into a complete facist asshole. He really feels like someone who's in so much pain from his actions, and is willing to do ANYTHING to make things better if he sees that it'll help. And when Captain America says no to signing the Sokovia Accords his reaction whenever he meets him afterwards is pretty much just:

And Robert Downey Jr's performance was just incredible! Absolutely amazing.

Now, let's talk about Black Panther, who is the second of the four people in this movie who are just absolutely amazing. Now, I didn't know much about Black Panther before watching this movie, but now I do. The actor who plays T'Challa is just absolutely incredible, and I love that they made him a serious character who doesn't have time for the one-liners that the other heroes are constantly spewing. And I love that, because having EVERYBODY throwing these jokes around is just tiresome at times. It's okay when some do, but others don't. (My favorite Black Panther interaction of the movie:
Hawkeye: I don't believe we've met. I'm Clint.
Black Panther: I don't care.)
So yeah, Black Panther was incredible! And I'm SUPER excited for his solo movie coming out!

Captain America in this movie was pretty much just... Captain America. Obviously. And I love how when he hears how they're treating Wanda when he's right about to sign the Accords his reaction is just:

The action in this movie is pretty much just what you'd expect from a Marvel movie, except Spidey, Ant-Man and Black Panther are amped up by a TON in the badass factor. And that final fight scene between Captain America and Iron Man was absolutely AMAZING! The cinematography was also pretty okay I guess. It's very standard stuff for Marvel, so it's fine. It did have that one shot that is at the very top of the blog that's just the most perfect shot in a Marvel movie outside of the Avengers team shot from The Avengers.

Crossbones is in the movie as well, and I really liked when he was on the screen (although his costume kinda looked like a shitty cosplay), but I was kinda sad that they killed him off right there at the beginning. (Finally someone dies in the MCU movies) And there's also the villain of the movie: Baron Zemo. Honestly.... I didn't really like him all that much. Now, maybe it's just the fact that I wasn't really listening, or maybe he was in Winter Soldier or Age of Ultron and I just can't remember him, but he honestly just came out of nowhere. I don't understand why some are calling him the "greatest CBM movie villain of all time". Heath Ledger's turning in his grave because of you people.

Now let's talk about the BIGGEST REASON why I saw this movie!!! Now, I can say with complete honesty that Tom Holland is to Spider-Man, what Ben Affleck is to Batman. ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. He is the PERFECT Peter Parker! There isn't a single thing about him I don't like! His voice, his height, his one-liners, his age, EVERYTHING! It's all perfect! He is the PERFECT Peter Parker! That's it! I can say no more about him because I can just summarize it all with the same way I use to describe Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool or Ben Affleck as Batman: Perfection. And that suit? Oh! It's sublime! It's GOD-LIKE! It's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!! And there's rumors that Spider-Man Homecoming will have Daredevil's Kingpin as a cameo, and Spidey's suit in the movie will have the WEB WINGS!!!!!!!!!! THE WEB WINGS!!!!!!!!!!!

My score for Captain America: Civil War is a 9.5/10, or 9/10 for you people who don't accept decimals as a way of judging a movie. Weird. Now, you can all accept that this is what I think of the movie, or call me a butthurt, salty DC fanboy who needs to leave his parent's basement (even though we don't have one) and go get laid so he can stop talking about superheroes all the time and maybe actually do something productive in his life. .... Alright, see ya.

5241741 So yeah, best Marvel movie.

Best Spider-Man.

Best RDJ performance.

Pretty much best everything.

If you'd like to talk more about Zemo, I'm down for that. But right now, I'm about to meme the fuck outta that Black Panther pic.

5241758 Go ahead.

And I can certainly see why some call it the best MCU movie, but I much prefer Iron Man.