Good day to everyone. This is the first of my public review. Hype much .

The Mare Who Went into the Cold

First, a quick recap of the story :

Octavia Phillharmonica, a brilliant musician, is invited to Stalliongrad by a mysterious host who seems to know an awful lot about her. In less time than YOU thought possible, she will be plundged into a Political Plot that may well threaten the life of the most important ponies in the kingdom...

So, what to think of this story ?

First, let's talk about style and grammar.

Overall, it's very good. I saw very few mistakes in there. Grammar is good, spelling is good. However, some sentences are a bit weird, with misplaced commas and other ill-used ponctuation signs.

As a personnal point, I would however would like to point out that you're on of the rare writers who can use ";" effectively. Big kudos for it.

Another thing to point out is the use of some hyper-sophisticated words (indescribable, for example, made me pause and dig up my dictionnary-can you believe that ? I know, right ? I have a hard time believing it myself !).

Whilst this would normally be a thing I approve of, in this special case, seeing how fast paced the story and the plot is (but I'll come back to that later on), it can be annoying to pause and think about what those words means. They break the rythm of the story. Otherwise, good work on the vocabulary. (You gain points with me when you use overly complicated sentences. 'cause I like em )

In any case, to conclude this part : writing is good, and the editing work done over it is very good as well. Good use of ponctuation is a hard thing. A good amount of training and experience is required before being able to do what you want with it and keeping it nice and working as well, so do NOT let that point stop you from looking at this story (heh, point. It's a joke. Geddit ? Because a point in math is a dot in writing ? It's the same sign ?....nevermind...). Also, over the top vocabulary...like it or not, but it's there.

Second part, plot and characters.

The plot in itself is reminiscent of those funny quiproquo films. It doesn't feel serious, and it doesn't need to be. It's fairly entertaining, and it got me to spit out a few laughs. Some of the situations are utterly ridiculous (in the positive sense of the word-as a comedic/plot device, I mean) and I sincerely asked myself what the heck is happening more than once. Again, in a positive way. You are as lost as the main character, Octavia, and you basically let yourself be caried by over the top situations and characters.

Speaking of Octavia, she is the usual persona the fandom made up for her. Refined, almost poncy, but one heck of a music lover, she will provide her usual dose of wonky and uncomfortable situations thanks to her attitude.
Vinyl is also present, and more or less follows her tropes as well.

I would say that this is both a good and a bad thing.

It is a good thing because those tropes are evidently mastered, and they are used to power up the story and the events. They are well used, and likeable like one would like the usual over the top manly action Hero of many a movie.

it is a bad thing because it's not very original. Octavia is a softy, Vinyl is a toughy. One other character is, however, completly outside her tropes. I will not reveal who it is to avoid spoilers, but it really put me off. I felt out of my comfort zone, dragged violently out of it, even. I didn't like it, and it made this specific character far less enjoyable than it should otherwise have been.

Third part : the Story as a whole.

I'll say it straight out.

It goes far too fast. Plot feels rushed, characters feel rushed, events feel rushed. In my opinion, there is not enough development. It gets critical in the second chapter. I sincerely lost track of what was happening because the story was running too fast. It's not just the chain of events I am speaking about here, but the whole of the story. The dialogs are rushed, and they basically loose the reader. I still have a hard time understanding where all this is going. Well, I exagerate a bit, but most of the more interesting details of the events are lost to me.

When there are big explanation scenes with a lot more dialogs than usual (the story works on the usual exposition/event scenes followed by big dialog/explaining/plot development scenes plan) I find myself even more lost than before. We have a hard time following what's happening in Octavia's mind. Whereas it could be said that she is confused, in terms of writing, confusion still lets the reader knows what the character is thinking and explaining to himself. It's an effy thing to describe, but in short you still understand the story.

To be more specific, the two dialogues between Octavia and Vinyl are exactly what I'm referring to. They are confusing, ill explained and developped, and they frankly draw the story backwards. It's the main downpoint I have against "The Mare Who Went into the Cold".

Finally, my overall opinion.

I recommend this story to anyone who likes to have a good laugh and try to figure out some little mysteries and events. It's like a cool film in the evening.
It's simple, funny, and a real pleasure to read. When it's not rushing like hell, it's fairly enjoyable to follow, actually, The pacing is excellent and the alternation between the scenes is very good as well. The plot, whislt I repeat is simple, will surprise you more than once. Basically, the story balances its downpoints with excellent story telling and likeable characters. It's easy, once you're in the flow of it, to overlook the little problems it has.
Except the rushing. Because personally I hate that. But you should still totally read it.

One last thing : the author only released two chapters so far. It should be four chapters long in total, and personally, I am really looking forward to the rest of it. It was a good read, that made me tick more than once, but it was still a good moment.

Well, that concludes this first review.

Next on the list is An Apple for Ya Trouble, by ellie_ .

Goodbye everyone, and see you soon for the next review.

Wow.

I'll talk about the rest of the review a bit later, but I just realized which character you meant.

Yeah... I need to write more stories with her, and get better at writing her character. In fact, I have somehow just gotten another story idea, but that's for later.