For Allen Greathouse, this was the worst possible kind of hell he could imagine.

His prison was an endless, barren field covered with patches of tan grass. A cold wind blew across the landscape, and the sky was a dismal grey.

That actually sounds pretty awesome, not gonna lie.
I

“Come now, Allen,” Sanguis said as he walked toward the alicorn prince, an all-too-friendly smile on his face, “you aren’t making this any fun for me. How am I supposed to enjoy tormenting you if you don’t respond to it at all? Come on; scream, beg for me to spare your friends, cry out in agony, anything!”

Villain begging for protagonist to show emotion.
II

Allen’s face fell after the warlord disappeared. Although he had faith in Drayke, he was afraid there was still a chance that he would fall to Sanguis’s power. After all, he had defeated and captured his friends, Luna, Celestia, and Discord, all with hardly any effort.

If they couldn’t beat him, how could Drayke?

Because unlike Drayke, they didn't subscribe to Rainbow Swords Anonymous.
III

Cadence was pacing back and forth in front of me in her Black Heart jumpsuit, which, I have to admit, made her look insanely hot.

Drayke, calm down. You can do that later.

Rawg: Sex is not canon in the Shattered Dimensions trilogy!

You shut up!
IV

Cadance shook her head. “Portal spells are ancient magic that only alicorns can perform, and only the most powerful could use one to travel to a place like the Void; I don’t think even Allen could perform a spell like that,” she said, sounding annoyed.

Yeah. Here's the human controlling the once human then alicorn now human AGAIN and used alicorn magic when possessed boy was HUMAN to open up a portal to the void.
V

I sighed deeply and rubbed my fingers against my temples. “Okay, so we need a way to get into the void. What about when I was trapped in my crystal, and you kept it in that secret room beneath the Crystal Palace? There was all kinds of old books down there; maybe one has what we’re looking for!”

May RNGesus bless you, my children.
VI

Zecora shook her head. “Although I want to do what is right, I’m afraid this is not my fight,” she said sadly.
I took an angry step forward. “‘Not your fight’ my ass,” I growled, “if Sanguis wins, everyone in Equestria is screwed!” I was about to go on, but Cadence held a foreleg in front of me and shook her head slightly.

Zecora, f*ck you, do you really want the guy who probably looks like a Yu-Gi-Oh! monster to win?
VII

Back at the Golden Oaks Library, Spike sat atop a ladder, grumbling as he shelved some of the many books the library was famous for providing.

“Why does Twilight get to go on so many cool and exciting adventures,” he asked aloud, “and I get stuck back here on cleanup duty?”

Sounds like me, except that when my brothers get to go on trips, I get better at playing as Rosalina and Luma in Smash 4 instead of going on cleanup duty. And anyways, Spikes probably been able to go on more trips than I have, so he shouldn't complain.
VIII

Spike ran into the room to see Twilight’s sister-in-law, Princess Cadence, standing over a rather angry looking, blonde-haired human. The man saw him and nodded acknowledgingly.

I can still picture only Anemos.
IX

Cadence giggled lightly. “Okay, we need to find some sort of ancient spellbook; it should have what we’re looking for!” she said quickly, and she and Spike started scanning the rows of shelves that lined the room.

Just get one from Leo like you do in Fire Emblem Fates Birthright. That path was complete sh*t by the way.
X

"'Royal Courtship Rituals, Volume 2’?” I whispered incredulously, “What the hell is

A Song of Ice and Fire.
XI

I flipped the book open and started skimming through the various paragraphs filled with cheesy romance tips, and gave a perverted smile when I saw the title of chapter 3. “Kinky,” I said aloud, and suddenly frowned when I realized I was staring happily what some might consider horse porn.

In case you're wondering, that chapter is probably called "Drayke and Cadance Getting it On" with a subtitle of "Sex is Canon in the Shattered Dimensions Trilogy"
XII

Cadence nodded. “I know this may seem hopeless, but we don’t have many other options,” she said apologetically. “Wait, here we go!” she suddenly cried, and Spike and I ran to see what the alicorn had found.

I hate you too.
XIII

Cadence nodded. “Yes, but in the wrong hands, these spells can have disastrous results; after the books were released, we had numerous cases of brainwashing, zombies, bank fraud, and disappearances,” she explained. "We had them discontinued, and the last copy was hidden away here in case of an emergency."

You know, in case we needed an end-all plot device.
XIV

“So, is it true you tried to take over Equestria, and then you helped Allen save it?” Spike asked nonchalantly.

This has got to be by far the best reputation ever.
XIII

Allen smirked. “You won’t be fore long,” he replied cleverly. “Drayke is going to kick your ass out of my body, and then I’m going to kick your ass for real. And this time, you won’t be coming back.”

Oh yeah, I noticed this a while back.
XIV

Anyways, back to where we were.

Spike nodded as we watch Cadence close her eyes and float into the air as a circle of mystic runes appeared on the ground beneath her. “So even the Obsidian King has a heart,” I heard him murmur. “I guess anything is possible.”

What a dick.
XV

“So, we just step into this, and we’ll be in the void?” Spike asked nervously.
“That’s right, Spike,” Cadence replied, nodding encouragingly. “It’s just like stepping into a doorway.”

Or invading a castle, and seeing as I probably won't get another chance to use this, here we go.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBQFNUJ8s2A
XVI

No, no, I insist; after you,” I replied, taking a step back and holding out a inviting arm.
Spike sighed. “To think you and Allen are the same species,” he muttered, and sprinted into the portal before he could hesitate

Can't appreciate a kind and over dramatic act?
XVII

I ran over to a pile of books and, after a few moments of digging, found the Royal Courtship Rituals book. “I’m going to save you for later,” I said slyly, and realized I had nothing to keep the book in. “Just wait here for me, okay?” I asked finally, dropping the volume and diving into the portal without a second thought.

Beautiful. Simply beautiful.
XIV

Total Sin Talley: Fourteen.
Sentence: Chapter Three!

5395549 *pouts* Spoilsport.

5395568 Until just now.