The title.
1

Godson is dared by a friend to take over Equestria.

That's some idiot friend you got there buddy.
2

YES, THIS IS A SELF INSERT. I ACTUALLY ACT LIKE THIS.

NO REGRETS.

Oh it's a self-insert? I totally did not know that. (Obvious sarcasm is obvious)
3

This won't end well.

No sh*t Sherlock.
4

Godson: uwotm8

Did you seriously just say that?
5

Shadow: yeah. I dare you to take over equestria.

Because I have nothing else to do except make impossible dares.
6

Godson: And… How do you expect me to do that?
Shadow: idfk. That’s why I dared you.

Does this guy do this with all his friends? Just so he has a reason to call his friends "stupid"?
7

Godson: It’s a cartoon world. How am I supposed to even get there?
Shadow: By screwing logic?
Godson: ._.
Godson: So let me get this straight. You’re daring me to break logic, enter Equestria, and try to take over?
Shadow: Yep.
Godson: …
Shadow: So?
Godson: ‘kay yeah, fine. I’ll do it.
Shadow: gg.

Ladies and Gentleman, Skype in a nutshell.
8

Godson groaned softly at at his skype window. He reread through the chat, hoping to find some sense in what had just occurred.

You must be high if you seriously think you can find some sense in that chat of yours.
9
Also, writing error.
10

He grabbed his nearby smartphone, searching for an application he may need to keep handy.

Notes.

Hey! That's what I'm using!
11

He opened the application, preparing his notes for the “dare” he was given to do. He didn’t know how he was going to do it, and yet, he didn’t care.

Just call the guy that dared you an idiot and be done with it!
12

Dunno how dafuq I’m gonna do this, or even WHY I’m doing it. But meh, why not?

Because it's idiotic and a waste of your time.
13

“Meh.” He spoke. “Sounds like too much work.” He looked behind him, focusing only on the bed in his view.

Glad we could come to an agreement.

“I need to think… How would I even get to a cartoon world…?” He asked himself. “Heh, ‘by screwing logic’, he says. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard.”

And I'm assuming it's not going to be the dumbest thing that we'll hear from you.
14

“I’ll figure something out…” He said softly, slowly drifting into slumber. “...eventually.”

I doubt it.

“Is it alive…?” a faint voice asked.

Damn it! He made it to Equestria!
15

The first thing he noticed was Twilight and her friends were standing right in front of him. Then, he realized he was right where he needed to be.

Equestria.

“How the…” Godson muttered to himself.

Pinch yourself! It's just a dream!
16

“Well, at least we know it can talk.” Rainbow Dash commented.

“Hmph. Aren’t you rude?” Godson countered, crossing his arms.

How in any way was that rude?
17

“None of us have seen a creature like you.” Twilight got closer to his face. “What are you…?”

You have a sh*t ton of books. I'm sure you can find out what he is in one of them.
18

Godson immediately pushed Twilight away from him. “Woah there. Stay out of my space.” He grumbled. “You see this?” He gestured his hands around in a circle shape. “This is my space. I don’t let many people enter this space.”

A pony isn't really a person are they?
19

Err… Right. You’ve never seen a human before.” Godson concluded.

“A… whoman?” Pinkie attempted to repeat.

Hahahahahahaha
20

“Uh. What are you doing?” Twilight queried nervously.

“Huh?” Godson looked at Twilight, then back at his phone. “Oh. It’s nothing, really. It’s just my phone.”

Thanks for being specific.
21

“...You don’t have phones here. Right.” He thought aloud. “Well, uh, it’s how us humans are able to communicate with one another from far away.”

Wait a second, how is his phone working exactly? There's no way that he could possibly getting a signal. Unless that app of his can work without a signal which in that case it's fine.
22

Step 1. Err… Check?

Dafuq do I do for step 2?

I don't know. You didn't make a step 2.
23

“So uh…” He started speaking once more, “...can anyone explain how I got here?”

“Funny.” Dash rolled her eyes. “We were getting ready to ask you the same thing.”

I have the answer: You screwed logic.
24

“H-hold on a sec. You don’t really think I’m here to hurt any of you, do you?” He worriedly asked.

“I dunno.” Twilight shrugged, “Are you?”

Depends on how his visit goes.
25

“That’s reassuring. I suppose.” Twilight said to herself. “So, you don’t know how you got here…”

“Correct.”

“So that means you also have no idea how to return home?” Twilight inquired.

“Corre—oh geez.” Godson interrupted himself, as if he hadn’t realized enough shocking details, he quickly realized his situation. He was stranded on a semi-familiar new world, and no way back to his own.

Doesn't sound like much of a disaster. Now you can avoid your friends entirely and make new ones here. I suggest you visit Lyra first.

“Hm.” Twilight placed a hoof on her chin. “Well, it appears you’re stuck here until I can figure out something.”

“Gee, how convenient.” Godson thought.

He's not going to make friends here is he?
26

“So. What’s your name?” Twilight got closer to him, avoiding his ‘space’ that he mentioned.

Godson quickly thought how he would answer her question. Would he use his online alias? Or use his real name?

We already know what he's going to choose.
27

“Just call me Godson.” He said, softly smiling at he did so.

Please don't tell me that's an error I see.
28

“Well, I’d offer you a place to stay, Godson. But I kinda don’t have room at the library at the moment.” Twilight frowned slightly.

Why not? Just let him sleep on the floor.
29

“So then uh... “ Godson looked towards each of her friends, whom were being unusually silent (even Pinkie, who was the most unusual.), then back at Twilight. “Where the heck am I staying?”

Guess.
30

“If you’re gonna stay at the barn, Gordon.” Applejack began.

“Godson.” He corrected.

Give the damn pony a break!
31

“Whatever.” Applejack made a shooing gesture with her hoof. “You’re gonna have to help around in the farm. Y’know, pull your own weight.”

Godson is gonna have a bad time.
32

“Is there another option?” Godson quickly spoke, attempting to avoid working.

Unfortunately for him, everyone was silent.

“...Great.”

That's what you get for being lazy as f*ck.
33

Total Sins: 33
Sentence: To Screw Logic. (Literally)

Well, I finally did it. And I managed to do it in only 2 hours!

Must say. Great review!

4613543 There's still a couple more chapters to go so expect more in the following days.

4614219 this is actually a good story! I think the reviews good to! Also one thing that annoys me of how this guy writes, it's that he does it like this:
"I know." said Fluttershy said quietly.
But it needs to have a comma not a .
( sorry i read a GUIs thing about making mlp fanfic and he said at the of when someone is speaking it needs to have a ?!, never a .)

4614255 Yeah I know what you mean. I'm planning on doing a bonus round on the final post for that.

4614271 oh ok

4614219 Okay. I will wait.

Oh hey, i remember reading this! I was actually thinking of doing a review for it...

4613470 Woah! Can't believe someone actually decided to take a shot and obliterate this story.

Wait a second, how is his phone working exactly? There's no way that he could possibly getting a signal. Unless that app of his can work without a signal which in that case it's fine.

Yeah it's an app that doesn't require signal. I thought that kind of thing would be common. o.o

Please don't tell me that's an error I see.

Eh? I don't see any err—

softly smiling at he did so.

Uh...

How did I not notice that?

Keep in mind that the story was rushed to heck to enter for the contest mentioned in the description. (Took about... three, maybe four days to write this insanity of a story?)

But hey, I like where this review's going so far! I actually got a good laugh out of all this, and I can't wait to see the rest!

And, while the description may say otherwise. I don't always act like I do in the story. I can act like this whenever I'm bored or trying to get a laugh. And the entire story was made mostly to get a good laugh out of.

But don't tell everyone that, I have a reputation to hold here. No I don't...

Edit: I edited the description just a bit.

4614255

how this guy writes

how this guy

this guy

>"this guy" has a name

But it needs to have a comma not a .

WHAT.

YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME.

MY WHOLE LIFE WAS A LIE.

No, seriously... All this time, I've been told it's better to use periods than it is to use commas during dialogue breaks.

Edit: Unless, wait... Did I misread the whole thing? Err, no, wait... What? Uh, I'm confused a bit. Maybe I should stay off the internet at 5AM.

I'll come back when I'm fully rested and able to understand things more clearly, before I continue to sound more retarded than I already do.

said Fluttershy said quietly.

Uh. You've lost me, you're trying to point out my errors, yet you made an error of your own...?

I'm confused.

4614846

Y'know, the fact you favorited the story had me wondering how you found my monstrosity in the first place.

And then I checked my freaking feed.

...Thank you.

4614883 ugh I'm talking about when you finish some one speaking with " " it says so in a guid I read. Also I don't know who wrote it.

Wow I didn't see my error XD I don't edit my comments lol