i wrote Dominatrix Chronicles in the hopes I could successfully execute a story in which Fluttershy and Trixie become a couple through BDSM fetishes, and have Fluttershy become like her student in the art of bondage. I wrote the first chapter, and I can shake the thought that it may need an editor. Would somepony mind reading through it so I can fix any sins in it and move on to chapter two?

3919289 I'll edit yours if you edit mine: Celestia Sits on Fluttershy's Face

3919330 I will gladly edit your story Bad Dragon!
but I must ask, are you like a celebrity here? because if you are, then i'm totally fangirling over here
*squealing*

3919335 Well, I do have 285 followers, but I wouldn't call myself a celebrity. In truth, I'm just another random guy that tries to write pony words.

If you give me a link to your story in Google Doc I can start editing it right away.

3919342 oh okay~
i've read through and edited your story, and i must say that it is golden!
i'll have the link ready in a bit, since i don't usually do stories on Google Docs

i must ask, does Drive automatically save my edits? or do i have to do that manually?

3919394 Thank you for your compliment. It's the best clop story I've ever written.

I'll start editing your story when you paste the link to it.

And, don't worry; your secret is safe with me; though, you, publishing it on a public forum might not be the most discreet way of preserving it.

3919402 oh, well, i think that nopony sees these besides us anyways... in the sense we're the only active ones in the group right now
either that, or i've edited my comment to delete all existence of a secret

3919398 Google Doc's saves both revision history and comment history. You can track every change that was made.

I have my Docs set on 'comment' which is the same as 'edit', just that every change gets commented. It's easier to navigate changes that way than it would be by browsing through revision history.

When you create a Doc, make sure that you share it or I won't be able to access it (the link you PMed me is not accessible). Alternatively, you can just paste your story in an already existent public Doc.

3919420 it has been done, and it is ready~

3919423 I'm editing it now in the Doc where you pasted it.

3919429 Yay! Do anything and everything you can to save my baby!
(i seem to have picken up the habit of calling my stories "my babies")

'Tis done.

You have a good story on your hooves. The last part kind of reminds me of Trixie My Pet, with roll reversal, of course.

I really liked the first part. The way you described Fluttershy's relationship. Nicely done. In the middle, you were throwing rape around a lot, which I personally don't mind, but the readers usually dislike it, for some reason.

The last part was a bit confusing to me. It was almost like a different story starting. It had almost nothing to do with what happened thus far. Also, Trixie wanted to punish Fluttershy for some reason, and Fluttershy thought she deserve it, but you never say what the reason for punishment is. Reading it objectively, I'd say Fluttershy got even more screwed than she was before. Trixie didn't do anything comforting (except making a tea, which really isn't that much of a big deal) to justify Fluttershy's trust in her.

Other than those little irks, your baby is great. Very engaging.

To implement the changes I made, just click on the the tick or change it to your desires. They are all just suggestions, and some of them may be wrong. It's your baby, so read the suggestions, but make your own mind about them.

3919437 I will keep the Doc in which I made the edits for about a month; then I will purge it. Let me know if you need more time to revise them.

3925949 i'm getting around to it now actually... it's kinda hard to do this with a tablet