Welcome to arf! Yeah, I'm going to name everything with dumb acronyms. It's fun.

Ehbpt is, of course, a candid agency. Typically, you do not come to us, we come to you, and then we break down your door and smash you in the face with a baseball bat until you like it. So, uh, please, take a seat, I'll be right back with a baseball bat... why are you grinning like that?

In the end, if you are a new author who is smart enough to seek out critique and has SOMEHOW found this group, congrats. You can line up for a baseball bat to the face in this thread.

Note we're not obligated to actually DO it, it's just an offer. If your story is a really long rambling shipfic between Twilight and Luna, or just generally something all of our critics (all one of them) dislike reading, you can probably forget it.

Also, for the sake of a semi-standardized format for the critique, and if you're not sure what exactly critique from us looks like, it'll typically follow this formula.

Good Stuff
Bad Stuff
Bad Stuff
Helpful Links
Good Stuff

yay.