Episode 1.

“ok carl, you’re doing this for posterity” I told myself. “worst case scenario, it sucks, and there are a lot of really dumb people out there. Best case, it’s great, and you have something to nerd out about now that Mass Effect is done.” I shuddered at the thought of mass effects ending. “God that sucked.”

I was home alone, no one due for a couple hours. Plenty of time to watch the show. It was simple. I watch the first episode, and every time anything interesting happens I was going to pause it and write what I thought about it. That way I would have a second by second recording of my thoughts on it for the record.

“OK carl. Let’s do this.” I looked it up on YouTube, and it was there. I hit play.

This is what I recorded. Feel free to watch it in sync with the episode.

Second by second thoughts on my little pony: friendship is magic
I’m writing this because I don’t understand how guys can like this show, so I’ve decided that it has one episode to make me a believer. If it’s good enough to make me want to watch more, call me gay. If it isn’t then I’ll just be confused forever. Here goes.
• 0.06, Gay, magical lands are generally gay
• 0.14 gay, the narrator sounds gay, she better not talk after this crappy intro
• 0.18 gay, unicorn powers are gay
• 0.35 the more this show reminds me it’s about ponies the less I’m going to like it. The animation so far sucks
• 1.10 what are these elements of harmony that are so powerful, I guess uranium, plutonium, titanium, tungsten and gunpowder.
• 1.20 banished in the moon is cool I guess, do the ponies have a space program, is it better than ours?
• 1.33 the animation is changed, looks less shitty now. Guess this is the protagonist
• 1.39 NO GOD, NO GOD PLEASE NO,NO, NO… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
• 1.40 This really is the theme for my little pony. I’m dying. How can anyone watch this crap?
• 1.41 at least there’s a balloon. That’s cool I guess. THIS SONG F***ING SUCKS
• 1.52, I guess that these five are here friends with whom “friendship is magic” DAMN THIS SONG
• 2.09 thanks for reminding me I’m watching My Little Pony. I forgot. At least the song is over
• 2.38 I guess that this twilight is more interested in books than friends. I also guess that we will never see these three people again
• 3.04 small dragon
• 3.43 I must be really bored, because I’m paying attention to the plot and stuff. Dang.
• 3.57 wasn’t she just reading about the mare in the moon and the elements of harmony just over 2 minutes ago? Why is she restating what she just read 2 minutes ago? PLOT HOLES!
• 4.09 Oh the bad guys gonna jailbreak soon.
• 4.41 almost felt a chuckle because the dragon can’t spell
• 4.44 TRIPPY HOURGLASS OF FORESHADOWING
• 4.59 how’s a teacher going to stop this. That’s like saying “Mrs. ponsoll, the Russians are going to nuke, we must stop them!
• 5.11 Oh, her teacher is royalty, pretty much in charge of everything. Ok. Why is she a Princess, and not a Queen? Is there a queen?
• 5.31 I almost chuckled again. Got two days until the jailbreak
• 6.05 got a grin, GET OWNED TWILIGHT! GET OWNED
• 6.23 how is this chariot flying? why are these winged ponies galloping while flying? Why?
• 6.27 make some friends. Ok. The rest of the episode is just going to be her meeting the people we saw during the opening song that almost killed me. I don’t even have to watch anymore.
• 6.54 oh but it does twilight, the fate of equestria really does rest on you making friends.
• 7.11 saw her in the title card. Best reaction to seeing anyone ever. If I was twilight I’d just leave. A near chuckle
• 7.29 why’d the orange one go yeehaw? Isn’t she just working
• 7.36 why’d the orange one do like a little “look what I did” thing. Isn’t she just working? Does she do this all the time?
• 8.17 soups on? But this is an apple orchard, why is soup on, is it apple soup? Where’d all of these people come from?
• 8.44 a face smile at granny smith. The apples got a big apple family.
• 9.06 the show is violently trying to rape my emotions with the sad little pony thing. F*** off show.
• 9.41 twilight gets hit with a winged pony with no depth perception. That would be funny, a winged pony with no depth perception that crashes into everything. I’d watch that.
• 10.26 this rainbow dash is kinda dumb and way too full of herself
• 10.55 she wants to join the pony blue angels? good luck
• 12.09 spike is in love with a unicorn. How cute.Yeah, that’s going to work just fine
• 12.25 her name is rarity. Jeez is she going to be full of herself with a name like that
• 12.34 I HATE THE FRENCH
• 12.47 another face smile at spike
• 13.20 the backrounds are freaking out and going all different colors
• 13.30 using emeralds and rubies on clothing? Equestria must be LOADED WITH MONEY!
• 13.40 near chuckle at “focus casa nova”.
• 14.20-15.00 big face grin and nearly chuckles. The introduction of fluttershy is just so awkward in every way that it is awesome. Even the wide view on the camera at the end highlights the awkwardness. This is the best part of the show so far.
• 15.23 like how she levitates spike away
• 16.12 like how twilight just wants to get the hell away from everyone
• 17.08-17.17 big face smiles, I just love how twilight is pouring herself a drink while pinkie is talking. The look on her face says she wants booze. Near chuckles. New best part of the
• 17.19 HOLY SHIT A WINGED PONY WITH NO DEPTH PERCEPTION IF SHE ISN’T A MAIN CHARICTER THEN THIS SHOW SUCKS.
• 17.45 pinkies kinda funny
• 18.13 twilight reminded me of cartman for a second. face smiles
• 18.57 facesmile at pinkie pie
• 19.30 anytime you see the lunar surface spontaneously change you know something bad is about to happen
• 19.56 face smile at pinkie pie.
• 20.06 face smile at pinkie pie. She is so oblivious.
• 20.27 like how applejack has to restrain rainbow.
• 20.36 face smile at pinkie pie still oblivious
• 20.42 The show has broken the chuckle barrier with applejack simultaneously shutting up pinkie and restraining rainbow dash. I chuckled.
• 21.20 WHAT? TO BE CONTINUED? WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? DAMN IT.
• 21.30 Gay ending song

For closures sake I have decided to watch the next episode. Shit. I was hoping that this would be it, but I do not yet have enough information to weigh in on if the show is any good. Will do tomorrow.

PART 2

• 0.01 “previously on my little pony”. Never expected the show to do a two part episode. Guess I was wrong
• 0.24 face smile of the recap of pinkie meeting twilight. May just face smile at pinkie every time she shows up.
• 0.37 F*********************** YOOOOOOUUUUUUUU SHIITTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYY SOOOONG.
• 0.47 F************************ YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
• 1.00 F******************************************** YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
• 1.07 stop reminding me that im watching my little pony. F*** you show
• 1.51 It’s nighttime forever now, so the fact that spike has been up all night doesn’t really matter does it, or is it impressive?
• 2.10 face smile at applejack restraining rainbow, again.
• 2.40 Oh pinkie. You make me face smile a lot.
• 2.51 I could just stop watching this show right now. It’s so predictable that I’m going to guess what the rest of the episode entails right now. They have to find the elements of harmony to stop the bad guy, but the camera pans over each pony and does a musical cue each time twilight names an element. Fluttershy is going to be kindness,pinkies going to be laughter, rarity generosity, applejacks going to be honesty, and rainbow loyalty. The sixth element is going to be represented by twilight it will probably be friendship or magic or some crap because it’s in the title. At the end they will beat the nightmare moon, who will probably turn good because a kids show can’t kill the bad guy, and twilight will have made some new friends. Let’s see how right I am
• 3.06 if they could jump cut to the everfree forest by saying it like they are all freaked out, then why not jump cut to the castle by saying “That freaky-ass castle” like they are all freaked out. It would probably save them a lot of time
• 3.13 what’s up with pinkies eyes. They’re all messed up.
• 4.29 how can they grab onto each other if they don’t have fingers.
• 5.11 like the trust fall thing. It just works
• 5.39 Rarity cares about her hair too much, what if she got, you know, KILLED. Rearrange your priorities.
• 6.06 like how pinkie hops into battle with this maticore.
• 6.52 How cute. Next
• 7.25 OH SHIT THOSE CREEPY TREES FROM SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARVES ARE BACK
• 7.48 And I liked pinkie. Now she’s singing a song. Damn.
• 7.55 At least twilight agrees with me that musical numbers suck.
• 7.59 How’d pinkie get up there?
• 8.29 dude , F*** this
• 8.48 okay pinkie, you’ve redeemed yourself.
• 9.10 well pinkie, considering how 1/3 of you can fly, and at least 1 can levitate people, crossing a river shouldn’t be a problem.
• 9.21 gay. Literally. That sea monster is homosexual. Im not making this up. In the credits hes listed as homosexual sea monster
• 9.46 you said it rainbow. gimme a break. The sea monster is sad because its missing a moustache.
• 9.53 F*** off Rarity.
• 10.30 hey, rarity’s pretty cool, ripped that guys scales off and stabbed him with it. Nice
• 11.04 Rainbow dash is no longer considered stupid in my book. This was the most pointless thing I’ve seen on the show so far and only happened to give Rarity something to do. How lazy.
• 11.41 oh yeah, what you should have done at the river.
• 13.18 like the whole temptation thing. Rainbow Dash, you are alright.
• 15.00 perfect response by Nightmare
• 16.30 was right about the five.
• 17.43 it was magic, not friendship
• 18.34 What the Hell is a cutie mark. Gay. Really gay
• 19.03 Where did she come from? Where was she at earlier? Could she have just showed up at any time?
• 20.05 called it.
• 20.08 Oh pinkie. Face smile.
• 21.18 I guess this sets up the rest of the season.
• 21.30 Oh Pinkie. Face smile.
We’re done!

So what did I think? I wouldn’t recommend the show to anyone. It isn’t funny enough to recommend for comedy, too predictable to recommend for story, and just not really great in any category. It didn’t even have a moral or anything like that. This show doesn’t give back anything. The best thing about it is the character interactions, but most of them aren’t fleshed out, and with 6 main characters on screen at the same time, with only 20 minute shows, I doubt that they ever will. While I liked five of the six Rarity just feels shoehorned in. the animations OK, but I wouldn’t recommend anything because it looks okay.
So while it may get better as the show continues I am not interested enough to want to see it get to that point. 4.5 Out of 10.

I stared at my screen blankly. That’s it? It wasn’t so horrible, but at the same time it just wasn’t any good. And you know what. That sucked. If the show flat out sucked then I would have just left it, If not then I would have said “alright, call me a brony!” instead I was stuck in this strange middle ground. I sat there for a moment. Alright.
One last chance show. Make it count.

Recording of your thoughts on intervals is an awesome process. I did it when I overdosed with ganja cookies. Though, my writing got illegible after a while, for some strange reason...