So, do you want to write a Pipe Down fic? If not, then pretend that this thread is just meant to give character details so that you understand Pipe Down. If so, then pretend that this thread actually has some useful advice on writing a grumpy old stallion.

Pipe Down
-Grows tobacco.
-Is 115 years old because he cheated Death, and has been cheating Death since he was 65.
-Was a soldier during the griffin wars.
-Has a lawyer on retainer.
-Is too old for this crap. It doesn't matter what the crap is, he's too old for it.
-Got his cutie mark at 25.
-Is not a Mary Sue. He always wins, but very few ponies actually like him.
-Thinks his doctor is full of it. And he is too old to deal with it.
-Always wins an argument. Even when he doesn't.
-Will only die when he feels like it.
-Was married to an Apple. Feel free to guess which one.
-Taught the CMC how to make siege weapons.
-Just wants to live his life.

Maybe I should write a story about it

2043600

Go for it.