Okay, so for some constructive criticism on the story so far. I think the story is a bit hard to follow and mixed up. This comes from the change of scenes and the different viewpoints, which is a difficult thing to do, but can make a story very interesting. So LikeaBaws, my suggestion to make thing a little easier to follow, and you may have thought of this already as it IS just the begginning of the story, try to create an order that you show each sides view. Like in each chapter for example show The Solar Empires movement, then Show what the Lunar Republic is doing, and finally show the third party factions. You could also follow particular characters in battles to show the details of the battle, in fact you could probably do that instead of following the factions. Focusing on characters instead of the factions could also create an emotional pull to the factions or the events of the story.

1260509 Also I think a link to the group on your story page may be useful for bringing readers into the creation of the story.

1260509 Ah, yes, I concur. The idea of focusing on singular characters is a very good idea. And as for the idea of showing when the viewpoints change maybe he can have that line thing, then in parentheses just under the line it could be [faction/group name]:[character (or indicate that it is being viewed from the narrators view)]

I think that the story needs to get more serious. Like the reqruitment places would not be the same booth. I doubt that they would even be in the same city. Another is that they are having a massive war because Luna wanted to rule for just one day? If it was a full rebellion then I would understand but she just wants to rule for one day.

Just got to say. The story setup, flow, and grammar of chapter 4 feels extremely improved compared to the first three chapters. Good Job LikeaBaws!

likeabaws just needs to put those chapter separator thingy's like those lines in between paragraphs to tell the scene change

Hey! I am back and glad to see a new chapter!
I think Mr. LikeaBaws is getting better and more into the flow of writing this story. I also have an idea. How about when characters travel into different dimensions, they also change into the dominant species of that dimension?