Believe it or not, this one seems promising, despite clear punctuation and apostrophe trouble.

I was wondering if I could ever prove the group originator wrong. I'll let you guys judge, though.

Actually, the grammar on that one is okay. It's not great, but it's passable. Just needs a bit of work is all.

The protagonist is absurdly bitchy.

That was all it took, something snapped inside of him as he backed away from his mother, a hurt, and dead look suddenly haunting his features, "How dare you. How DARE you mention him. He abandoned us all for Celestia, because of some misguided belief that he had to serve our princess," as he spoke, he continued to back away down the hall, "I told you then I would never be like him. I write my own destiny."

"Son, wait!" Her cry came too late as the sound of Emerald’s bedroom door slamming shut echoed through the small apartment, shortly followed by music being played at full volume behind the door.

"Screw you, mom! How dare you?! I'm going to my room and... and... playing my music loudly!"

There's an entirely pointless scene in Chapter 3 where Emerald plays an arcade game to kill time, and which inexplicably features his father. Yeah, we get it already. He has issues with his father.

Alright, I'll admit it. Nitpicking aside, it's not a bad story, although the Rainbow Factory subplot is overdone.

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As a humanist, I'm a fan of the "I write my own destiny" theme, personally.

And the protagonist Emerald Shadows is based off the author's brother, so there is reason to believe the rest of this story is (loosely) based on true events, which is something to consider while reading the story.

Most nitpicks still hold, of course. I think we all agree this story just needs a little guidance.

Someone just offered the author to be his new proofreader, so we may be getting a more polished version soon.

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As a humanist, I'm a fan of the "I write my own destiny" theme, personally.

I gotta admit, I do really like the protagonist's motivations. The idea of someone rebelling against their cutie mark is intriguing, and there's the subplot with the father that has potential.