You know what this fandom really lacks? That's right. It lacks a deep-hypnosis script which you can have read to you to achieve a state of altered consciousness allowing put yourself into Miss Harswhinny's shoes. Let's face it, technology is not developing fast enough that any of us are ever going to be able to literally become surly, majestic, lactose-intolerant post-menopausal former Olympic medalist cartoon horses in our lives, but through the power of hypnosis, one can achieve a trance state where one can experience the sensation of it. Who's up for writing a script?

Meh. With the Oculus Rift developer kits shipping out at the end of the month, we should have an adequate Harshwhinny simulator by next winter, at least.

804629
Oh wow, I didn't know she was lactose intolerant! Someone write a story about that!

804809
Dude! STAY ON TOPIC!

GAWD!

804810
What? What did I do?

804812
You can't go one comment without a derail, that's what!

Jeez.
ANYWAY! What about the hypnosis program that is already out there?

804809
yes
she also has mild lumbago
i am tracking all her health problems and I expect any decent miss harshwhinny hypnosis to mention them

805033
Sooo... you want long, sultry descriptions of hot flashes and digestive difficulties?

805036
is that too much to ask

804813
Which one is that?

805039
The one I totally did NOT find on Equestria After Dark.

805052
Stop fking lying.

805053
Dude, why are you in such a bad mood today!
You are being really mean, yo know.

805054
Sorry, been a hard day at work. You know how it is sometimes. I'll calm down.
Here is the link.
http://www.equestriaafterdark.org/2013/01/pony-hypnosis.html

805056
I do not see any Harshwhinny there at all.

805069
Ostensibly works as any pony. Why you would chose any pony other than Miss Harshwinny is utterly beyond me.

805069
I think BP is saying that you could start with that fundamental script as a baseline and add in all the middle-aged horse health problems that Sky up there wants. If anyone tries it, please, for the love of Pete, make a recovery condition. I don't think I need to tell anyone that having your mindset irrevocably Harshwhinnified would be detrimental to your daily life. You'd go around inspecting things all day, whether they needed inspecting or not.

OTOH, if someone disregards my request and does it anyway, please release it into the world as an audio virus that will piggyback onto all sound streams coming from the Internet. My flower-print luggage company could use a boost in sales.

805073
I'm coming up against a conceptual wall with the prospect of Pinkie Pie hypnosis.

"You are becoming very relaxed."

(gigglesnort) "No I'm not, silly!"

I'm just saying, the success condition is indistinguishable from the failure condition.

804809

Oh wow, I didn't know she was lactose intolerant!

. . . And I didn't know horses went through menopause.

805251
STOP INTRUDING ON MY PRIVATE FATASIES, DAVIDSON

YOUR SO-CALLED "RESEARCH" IS NOT WELCOME HERE

Something else I didn't know before looking at these scripts is that horse legs have a reverse joint in the rear legs. Silly me, I had presumed that they were analogous structures or something BUT I GUESS NOT!

805251
I didn't know that horses could sing or build castles, but apparently they can!

805790
Do I detect a note of sass there, Sky? 805251 is right. I mean, yes, these fairy-like creatures eat a ridiculously high-protein diet and can fly and stuff, but half the charm of ficcing the universe is cleaving at least slightly to actual horse biology. The equine spirit is at the heart of this show, and it's what (in part) draws our psyches here rather than to Thomas the Tank Engine. And now I'm thinking of rated-M steam engine fanfic and I have to stop.

805836
Bullcrap, Sky. The "equine spirit" isn't anywhere near the heart of this show. Let's face facts. These are fundamentally brightly-colored human girls who may or may not be vegetarian, have hooves, and make horse puns. That's the extent of your vaunted "equine spirit".

Guys, I'm new here, so sorry if this is a newb question, but is Skywriter actually arguing with himself up there?

805862
You get used to it, kid.