Okay, this is the dilemma: I have no real idea where the story is going wrong.

My primary work, Just Blink, is practically tied for upvotes and downvotes, yet I have no idea what is causing people to downvote it because NOBODY IS TELLING ME- well, not quite true, I'm aware that a few of those are just some fragging fools who see the warning for the story and decide to don some shades from the 90's, but other than that... I got nothing.

So... I need some help. How would someone find out what people think of their stories besides flat-out asking what people think of their stories, which I have already done? If you want to give me a few pointers on the story itself, be my guest. I can use all the help I can get on Just Blink and for my other work, Digital_Hex

Much appreciated.

858581 I'll give it a read-through and highlight the problems

[THIS THREAD WILL BE DELETED IN 1 WEEK]

858581
If I was to hazard a guess, your story is being down voted because of the incest ship.

For advice, I really don't know.

858587

858590
Sadly, this is truth for a number of the downvotes, I am sure...

858595
I'm not one of them so no worries.

Started to read the story; I can honestly say it isn't your writing. You're pretty good really, nice style, good pacing, few technical errors, etc.

The description would have driven me off, as well as a lot of other people. It makes me wonder (as I only read the first few hundred words or so, so I really don't know) could this story have worked if they were simply childhood friends?

As for the downvotes; they're mostly trolls probably; but as someone not from Kentucky, I can tell you the rule out here is if you can trace the relationship at all it's too close (New Jersey and New Hampshire) so that description looked like trollbait to me.

858604
Not everyone who downvotes without leaving a comment are troll.

Well, it's best to first see which kind of downvoters you have.

Blackmail voters- those who rate down because they want you to do something.
Confused readers- those who were interested, but got lost at some point or felt the story had taken a bad turn.
Malacious- those who downvote simply to be negative or jealous/upset writers/readers who like the idea but are mad you wrote it.

My suggestion would be to have several reviews of your story. Not just two, but seven or more. Different reviewers see different things, so one may spot a problem, while another finds a different one. If they all agree on something, revise what was wrong, apologise to your readers and keep writing. If nothing seems to be wrong, just keep writing regardless of votes. You may have just been unlucky enough to get a mass of downvoters who attack stories for no real reason other than their own amusement.

858614
My.
GAWD.
Comet Burst just commented on a post I wrote.
o.o
Brain shutting down.
Entering metabolic hypercoma.
Be back in ten.
x_x
(I can die happy now )

*reads other comments*

I feel stupid for my comment now...

858630
What's his problem?

Back.

Yeah, I went ahead and looked at the overview page (? not right) for the story and looked at it as a normal person (challenging for me) and agreed it looked... off. I adjusted it. I suppose it waaas a little... intimidating? Baited? No, I can't seem to find the right word for this... Hmm...

858636
Uh....?

858609 Not all, of course, and if I implied that I apologize.

But in this case, I suspect, more than the usual amount. I am, of course, defining someone who downvotes a story based on the concept as a troll. If you disagree with this definition, which word would you suggest?

I personally neither upvoted nor downvoted the story. I was not sold by the description, but that would be an entirely different thread, I would think.

EDIT: I really hate that last paragraph, but can't fix it.

858646
Why did he act like Pen Stroke or one of the other big names in FiMFiction spoke to him?

Alright, I quite literally can't see any major flaw in your story. The pacing is good, the OC characterisation is good, the existing characterisation is good, the writing style itself is good; this is a good story. I do believe that the majority, if not all, of the people that down voted it are thoroughly against incest, no matter how small the link. Now that you've changed the description though, it should help out. I wish you luck with the story, it was a decent read.

858653
Kind of, by that definition I would be a troll for downvoting fics for the concept. Though I only do it when it's a NLR/SE, TyrantCelestia, or really any fic that bastardizes Celestia's character. I do that because if I leave a comment I would be unable to hold my tongue as I rip into them. (also it could prevent flame wars).

858659
Comet Burst is to me as Pen Stroke is to others. Many fell in love with Past Sins. I fell in love with The Golden Armor.

858668
Ah... ok I will grant you that. Comet is a damn good writer

858661
Ah, thanks! Looking back, the description definitely would tend to create and fuel quite a bit of RAEG from some readers, I completely agree.

858668 I'll take Angel Beats over Nyx any day.

That didn't come out right...

858679
Shhh...

I understand...

858667 I try not to downvote on concept, only writing. If I don't like the concept, I just don't read it. If I don't like the direction, I'll usually comment; and might revoke an upvote. But a downvote from me is usually for people who don't capitalize i.

858687
Capitalizing 'i'. Definitely an important one there.

858687
I only do in the above case, other wise I will just ignore it. I just get so angry at those fics.

858696 I agree with your principle even if I don't quite share your passion. Tyrant Celestia is just... I don't even know. Bad. Wrong. Neither works. We need some new word to express how bad and wrong it is.

It is Badong.

free internet to first one who gets the reference!

858703
Cliche? Overdone? Stupid? Violation of the nifty writing guide the site gives us?
Badong... Bad Wrong?

858709 "Badong" is from a movie.

And I could go overall the different types of bad writing out there, but I have work on Wednesday. Can we just say I support your cause? This is Digital_Hex's thread after all.

New description is an improvement, but I still find the concept squicky.

858716
Agreed.

Ok my two cents on the description. Main thing is keep warning tag for incest in the description, nothing is more annoying that get surprised by something like that, same with get trolled on pairings.

858716
Squicky, huh? ...Hmm...
858718
So just add it in nonchalantly, just like *Contains Incest* or something a little more informative?

858722
Something like that. It's up to you really.

858722 It feels cliched when I type it, but I am honestly asking if "childhood friends" would work instead. I know you're well into the story, but still.

Actually, that may only be cliche in this country because Japanese culture doesn't consider that incest but the translators realized it would weird out Americans to no end.

And cliches become cliches from overuse, which means at one point they were simply tropes that a lot of people found rather useful, so the cliche may be the better choice in this case.

858734
I see...

858668>>858673>>858679
Oh, uh....

Wow, I didn't think I was anywhere near Pen Stroke's level.

On topic, I looked it over and I couldn't see much that was wrong. Good job writing.

858748
T-T-THANK YOU!
Okay, fanboy-ism gone. Considering nobody has said my actual writing is a problem (quite the opposite, it seems), I am quite comfortable with the style of my writing
Now I have to work on the story itself...

Damn you, Tau, for stealing all of my attention. Shiny Weeaboos.

858752
:p Grey Knights ftw.

858768
Considering my first real team was Grey Knights, versus the level of RAEG I feel towards them after learning how much Matt Ward changed them from their original canon... Meh. Either they will eventually see the truth in the Greater Good, or they will be destroyed like the rest. Our conquest is inevitable.

858768

Just imagine...

858804
[img] http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_A8bZUPrO8dk/TStWrs2xQyI/AAAAAAAADI4/7gFnOTYnDH8/s1600/greyknights.jpg[/img]

Remind me what the Tau do when they meet Daemons again? Is it get destroyed by psychic powers?

858833
Most likely, but at least their entire canon didn't get hacked because the Smurf's spiritual liege decided he wanted the most anti-demon force in existence to recruit demons