I have been working for a while on a story idea, and would appreciate the chance to obtain some feedback on what I currently have. If anyone is willing, I would appreciate assistance looking this over, both for technical accuracy and logical consistency.

This story is intended as a sequel to my prior story 'Surprise Visit'.

Title: As yet, final title is undetermined. Working title is 'The Bon Bon Bunch', as a personal joke about the premise.

Type: Multi-chapter story, first two chapters currently ready for review.

Current word count: Chpt. 1, ~5300 words. Chpt. 2, ~6700 words.

Basic premise: It hasn't been too long since Lyra Heartstrings learned that her roommate Sweetie Drops, better known as Bon Bon, is a changeling. When an accidental interaction lets Lyra meet another of Bon Bon's pony identities, Lyra decides she wants to know just as much as she can about them, and about the real Sweetie Drops hiding behind the masks. And, after a friendly offer from Lyra, Bon Bon is now trying to figure out just what her relation to her roommate is - and what the two of them want it to be.

Character tags: Lyra, Bon Bon, Changeling, Other
Type tags: Slice of Life

Perspective: Third person, focus alternates between Lyra and Bon Bon.

If there's any more information needed, please let me know. If anyone is willing to look this over, please let me know and I will PM you with the GDocs link.

looks interesting i haven't red the prequel tho, i you want help maybe i can provide