I'm trying to thresh out a small story idea, and would appreciate some assistance with it. Specifically, I'm looking for three things:

1) I'm trying to determine whether or not I've got the pacing right - I'm a bit worried I sped through it too quickly.
2) I'm trying out a particular effect with this story, and I'd like to know whether or not it's doing what I want, or if it's being a distraction to the reader.
3) I'm a bit nervous that the ending could be confusing, and I'd like some assistance in verifying whether it is or not.

Please note: While any given will be appreciated, I'm not looking for grammatical corrections at this time.

Current word count: ~2150 words. This isn't a full story, just a little brief vignette sequence.

Takes place in the same continuity as my stories 'Broken Hearted' and 'Surprise Visit'.

Basic premise:

During the preparations for the Royal Wedding, Lyra Heartstrings and her fellow bridesmaids had a moment of disagreement with Princess Cadenza about the wedding gown. Because of this, Princess Cadenza has called them in for a discussion, to make sure no such disagreements will ever happen again.

Character tags:

Lyra, Chrysalis.

Type tags:

Dark.

Perspective: Third person, Lyra.

If there's any more information needed, please let me know. If anyone is willing to look this over, please let me know and I will PM you with the GDocs link.

You could probably start by explaining what it is you're trying to accomplish with the story.

If you want someone to look at it, I would. Send me a PM if you'd like.