seriously when i was 5 i saw 3 people walking in the desert and then everything went black then there were 3 heart beats then i saw myself smiling in kindergarten and then i went to first person. then i started asking questions like whats going on? what is this? what just happened? then as i continued with my day i somehow knew the world around me and everything that was going on and the names of all my friends and family members. ever since then ive been living and trying to figure out what happened.

?

Get off the shrooms bro!

Joking aside, I think you may be talking about how you don't remember much of your childhood? I certainly don't. Maybe you have amnesia! I'm tired and this made no sense.