Introduction to FIMFiction.Net; First Reviews

Hello there, and welcome to my first blog.

Courtesy of advice from fellow user Pav Fiera, I've decided to post the reviews I do on the occasion that I have a mind clear enough to do so. I do this because I want potential watchers and readers to see if I'm being fair in my judgments or not. Please comment below in order to voice your opinions. Advice and constructive criticism is strongly appreciated.

With that being said, here's the review I did for Chapter 2 of Fate's Plaything, written by Evergreen_shadow.

I have to say, you're very bold writing a H.I.E. story. As far as first impressions go, they seem rather scorned courtesy of more illiterate individuals who desire nothing more than to write stories for the sake of fun and getting themselves romanced with one of the Mane 6, if not other popular characters. Not that there's anything wrong with the former option, mind you. But it's just that there can be those who get carried away in their fun that they forget about the quality of the work, accidental or otherwise. Leads to quite the amount of scorn.

But enough about my worries. I'm here to give you a review, not make you listen to me complaining about the thoughts of other authors.

To start off, I'll summarize what I've seen so far. The human protagonist is a military soldier K.I.A. while protecting an ally from certain doom. He is then confronted with the realization that it wasn't his time yet to die, and with the help of three deities, is resurrected within Equestria for a second chance. He spawns in the Everfree Forest, gets his bearings, and is then forced to fight with a Manticore. All of these sound like typical, generic elements for an H.I.E. story. How many times have I seen the protagonist encounter a Manticore over other creatures or land in the Everfree Forest? Of course, him being a soldier gives him an excuse for his ability to combat at least some of the Equestrian threats and dangers thrown his way, but still.

However, this can be made up by how well the story is written. I like the smaller events such as moments with Twilight and Spike, as well as him getting his bearings prior to being attacked. I also enjoyed the concept of Death, Life and Fate having their own set personalities just as any human being would. Gods who act similar to the regular person and not some overly worshiped Messiah are peculiar and unique in my opinion. But above all, I like the fact that you didn't have him meet any of the Mane 6 right away. It's something that brings up a certain amount of tension, and I love breathtaking moments that stories bring, whether it be out there or subtle.

Great job so far. I look forward to seeing and reviewing more as the chapters are uploaded.

Here's another for Rangers Lead The Way, written by SomeAsian2347.

In summary of what I've read so far, the human protagonist is one "Alexander Leeroy Johnson", one who was captured by enemy forces. He manages to break out of his bonds in typical Houdini fashion, kill his captor and is then abducted by scientists conducting a teleportation experiment. They use him as a lab rat and send him through to Equestria. He happens to re-appear in Twilight's basement in a less than stable condition, and they end up taking him to the hospital as a result. There was a story that I had read and reviewed prior to this with a similar opening, only with the protagonist within that chapter dying and resurrected within Equestria by Death, Life and Fate. Like said previous story, I find all of this to be a bit too generic - especially the coincidental teleportation efforts by both the scientists and Twilight.

As what was mentioned before, the plot is moving by far too quickly. Sure, I am able to understand Alexander's plight, but I have no time or chance to feel any emotion for the characters within before I'm whisked away to the next scene. It leaves me asking questions such as "Who are the characters?", "What are they feeling?", and "Where's the subtle hints of back-story?" To me, the first chapter for every story is supposed to have an establishing character/plot moment to pull you into the story and keep you drawn in. When I read this, I felt as though I was skimming through no matter how slowly I read it. In addition, detail to scenes overall are rather vague and uninteresting, giving off the impression that you just rushed through the story with the intent on posting it as quickly as possible. Very disappointing.

This story needs a bit of editing before the next chapter should be considered. Otherwise, readers will be turned off very quickly.

Finally (for the sake of not making this blog longer than it needs to be), there's one for this mind-blowing piece called Listen and Learn, written by the parasprite. Notably, this leads me to another heads-up: I will be posting three reviews a blog from here on out, so expect some long blog entries.

When it comes to times like this, I am reminded that empathy is both my curse and my blessing.

In summary, Rainbow Dash calls her friends to confess her sexual orientation, leaving them with a less-than-positive opinion of her (with the exception of Pinkie Pie). Although Pinkie's intentions mean well, her methods are nothing more than shallow and oblivious to the problem and only drives Rainbow to the point of purposefully chasing her out. In the end, she ends up hating not only her friends, but herself for being the way she is. Even in summary, it's rather tear-jerking and saddening. I could literally feel the tension build up inside of me throughout the intro and remain constant through to the very end of the story... and I absolutely loved it. Your ability to draw and keep readers in an immersive experience leaves me feeling envious and impressed. Very few stories are capable of doing that to me, but the ones that do simply take my breath away. I wouldn't be surprised if there were other readers that share such an opinion. The only true gripes I had, though, were with Pinkie's innocent insensitivity towards Rainbow Dash. I always thought of her to be a much more complex character than the all-out party mare we know and love, and I had assumed her to be the tide turner. But that's just a matter of pure opinion, and there are authors who will portray her in different ways.

Thank you very much for this beautiful piece of work.

Farewell for now!