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21 KM To Nerdiness

NO CAPES! 🦸‍♂️| Ko-Fi | 21 | Straight/Black/Nerd 🐢

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  • Monday
    Lea Willows

    Credit: soniana-draws

    Age: 13
    Race: Acacian
    Loves: fighting evil, pretzels, being sarcastic, making her mom proud, flexing her strength, P R E T Z E L S. 🥴

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    8 comments · 41 views
  • Sunday
    1,400?! 😱🥺

    1,400?! :derpyderp1:

    Thank you all for choosing this Dorkémon. :heart:

    I honestly don't deserve all of you here, but I'm not complaining. I am forever grateful to have you all here.

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    19 comments · 86 views
  • Friday
    Still a Cell of a Guy

    Happy belated Birthday to an underrated gem, Osmosis Jones, who turned 21 on August 10th!

    Last year, in honor of of its 20th anniversary, I made a fanmade trailer of the movie in the style of the epic Godzilla: King of the Monsters trailer. Let's face it, WB didn't even try with OJ's original trailer...

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    2 comments · 72 views
  • 6 days
    Sweetest Place in the World 🍬

    Credit: soniana-draws

    I love this so much, the home of Kyle finally brought to life!

    12 comments · 77 views

Be HONEST — CHAPTER 5: Blunderful Life · 2:20pm February 13th


That escalated quick, didn't it?

It happens. Whenever I needed to be alone to think, I would hang and poke around the Grave of Blunders.

*insert image of a junkyard*

When newcomers settle here, some would mostly have a bunch of junk carried over from their overwhelming towns that they'd throw out in a gated area by the edge of Willbrook Street. I'm not into fancy stuff, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't fascinated by them.

There's this one thingy that I've heard was better than a stove, a mi-cro-wave? I never understood those things. What was wrong with a normal sized wave? I thought.

Sorry, my brain wandered to odd places. I needed something to take my mind off the tiger claws sinking back in the tips of my paws. There, I sat atop a hill of junk feeling like junk. I thought Lucy would never look at me the same way again.

"There you are!"

Speak of the devil's daughter...

"You are a fast one," Lucy wheezed, wobbling up the junk pile with me. "That was...incredible back there, you have got to teach me some of that! I have never seen such raw violence, you'd make a fearsome villain!"

I wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my face between my knees.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I hate it." I signed.

"Hate it, why? I'm jealous."

"It makes me feel like...a monster."

"Don't get a big head, I'm the monster," Lucy paused to examine me. "Hmm, you're more of the rogue warrior with a mysterious past type, maybe."

Sitting down beside me, the perky devil leaned me into a warm hug. "I'm not mad at you or anything," she said, scratching behind my ears. "Like father says, you can't take an amulet without cracking a few skulls. No, that's not it. You know what I mean though, right?"

I shook my head.

"Hmph, still, I thank you for having my back. You're a nice kitty. Who's a nice kitty?"

"Is it me?"

"That's right, it is you! Remember that. Remember, because I forget. A lot."

I pouted.

"I'm kidding, ya goof. You're too funny to forget. You sure you don't want to be partners in crime?"

I shrugged. The "in crime" part still didn't sit well with me.

"You're probably the closest thing I have to a partner," the demon lied down on the uncomfortable junk pile. "No accomplice, no pawn. Heck, not even a hench mammal to plot with, all because my tricks are seen as 'weird' and 'not evil enough'. Like, glitter can be used for torture, right? It only makes sense!"

Lucy flung a tiny balloon from her box of evil at my chest, a cloud of glitter with bits of confetti staining my sweater.

"The confetti was for scary flair," she stated, plucking out a roll of stickers. "The stickers were the cherry on top. Is that too much? Ugh, it's too much!"

Clawing at her eyelids, she sighed. "Do you think I'm weird?"

I nodded, wiping myself clean.

"Oh." Lucy hung her head and sat her box on the ground, her dangling locks shielding her eyes.

I reached for a wacky sticker of a fish in her palm and nudged her shoulder as I taped it to my forehead. She looked up and grinned, peeling off a cute watermelon sticker and poking it onto my nose. "You're a sweet melon."

"You're a bright light." I poked a happy sun on her cheek.



"Pals," she said to herself. "I can work with that!" the happy demon bumped my shoulder, plucking a copper cruller out of her pocket. "Now that we're pals now, I think it makes sense to share. I may be evil, but I'm not rude!"

I couldn't argue with that logic, sort of. I licked the chocolate coating around the treat as she retrieved a black clipboard from her evil box.

"At least I got some evildoing an evildoer like me done did," Lucy marked checks over a list. "My scream quota has been met, I built a nice body count as well as a calorie count. Not bad for a first day, yes?"

The faint melodies of an Elvis Parsley album played off near the senior center, my tail tapped to its catchy beat. From there, I could hear the scribbling demon hum along with the song.

"You know Parsley?" my mouth hung open.

"Are you kidding me?" Lucy playfully shoved. "Only one who could top that legend is Mikey Johnson."

"I love Mikey Johnson!"

"If a song of his doesn't play at my funeral, I'm getting out of the coffin and leaving!"

It was at that moment I knew...

I found my soul buddy.

*insert doodle of Kyle and Lucy proudly labeled as "soul buddies"*

Evening approached and we had to take Ahana on the way home. Luckily, she was a forgiving creature and gave us a swift but smooth ride back to Wilbrook.

"Sorry again for the coal, Ahana," Lucy rubbed her cheek against the gentle grub, feeding her an orango as we hopped off. "Hope this fixes it."

"Mmm!" Ahana wiggled, nuzzling the girl in return.

"You're so cute!"

Inside, I had a deep need to wash my paws after what happened that day. I ducked past the front counter to the kitchen while Gram tended to a small swarm of fire ants from the flame colony off on Brimstone Boulevard.

"Okay, everything should be ready to go here," the pug handed the general ants' receipt atop the counter. "May your sweet mandibles be satisfied."

"Bless ya, madam," the ant tipped his antennas. "Ants, MOVE OUT!"

*insert a trail of tiny marching ants carrying deserts away, leaving a thin line of fire*

"Everything go well for you two?" Gram asked, peeking through the kitchen doors. Seeing me scrubbing hard against the suds was enough said. "Oh, young cub, did you swear again?"

Drying off, I approached a chalkboard marked "accident-free days" draped beside the candy cupboards and scrubbed the sixty tallies off.

"Ah, biscuits. What happened?"

"He protected me," Lucy cut in. "Some goony raccoons tried to rob us. Kyle swooped in and took them out with a furry vengeance."

"You poor thing," Gram wrapped me in a hug. "That must have been horrible!"

"It was glorious, that's what it was!"

"Lucy, hon, mind taking care of those flames out front for me? Gram has asthma."

"Yes, ma'am!" the demon zipped out to absorb the growing trail of fire.

I grabbed a seat at the dining room table, Gram still at my side.

"I'm OK." I signed.

"Then why can't you look at me?" she rubbed my back. "Look me in the eyes."

I turned around.

"Put your eyes back in."

*insert image of Kyle hanging his head, eyeless*

"It's fine, you were looking after your friend. I know you have a thing about fighting, but sometimes...you gotta do what you gotta do. I ever tell you about Bronson?

I shook my head.

"Old badger, the most cranky of us elderly folk. Bad manners, bad back, bad attitude—"

"Bad colon," Milton shuddered, crawling out the basement covered in tangled wires. "Ugh, don't get me started."

"Poor mammal's never had a shred of luck in his life and I'd normally smoke slowpokes like him at cards. I believed it was beat or be beaten."

"Which is why I have to follow this kook with a leash."

"Anyways, after I..." Gram's motherly gaze soured, her throat twitched as she tried to cough up the words.

"Lost," Milton cut in. "She lost the game."

"I let him win!" the pug barked. "I could've destroyed him easily, but I gave him a break. Bronson never let a minute go by without rubbing it in our faces 'til the end of his days."

"May Ela rest his crusty soul."

"There will be times in life you have to do the stuff you hate for the good of those around you. As much as I hated throwing the game, I had never seen Bronson so happy. Sometimes, it's worth it. You know what I mean, young cub?"

I nodded. At the time, I didn't fully understand what she was getting at, but at least it was explained better than Lucy ever could.

"Look out there," Gram turned my attention toward the front door. "See how happy she is? That's because of you."

In that brief moment, seeing Lucy's innocent gaze as she swept the dying fire up in her palms had washed away any ounce guilt I felt. I did do that, and it felt...amazing.

"Is that a smile I see there?" Gram cooed, tickling my sides. "Such a good kitten."

As I wiggled in her arms, the pug paused, something by the counter catching her attention. "No, Cliff, you're eating the bar!" she whined, plucking a mini hammer from her apron. "Don't eat the bar, not the bar!"

"Pfffft." Cliff said, gnawing the edge of the bar.

"Milton, get me the chisel!"

While those two struggled with tackling the grip of a rock, Lucy scurried back in looking around the kitchen in a panic.

"Kyle?" she said, fumbling her claws. "Has, um, anything nipped at you lately?"

*insert image of a piranha nibbling Kyle's arm*

"Nope." I signed.

"I'm sorry," Lucy pouted. "I just couldn't part with Li'l Precious, she's just so rabid, I adore her so!"

I didn't feel like going back out, so I filled a glass pitcher with water and gave the fish a home before the thing could take my face off.

Her and Cliff seemed to get along fine though.

*insert image of Cliff and Precious blankly sitting by each other*

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Comments ( 8 )

Awww, new friends!

Introducing more characters to the cast, it's a good move.

Thanks, I don't wanna add too many though. :rainbowwild:

On the fence about a...trait with one of the raccoons later in the story. It's a silly allegory.

Right after the previous chapter, this one feels heart-warming as heck! The best way to go with, in this sort of story, in my opinion.

I also see some puns that I enjoyed, that also are making me love this little universe the story takes place in, it all just seems so charming. :raritystarry:

Looking forward to the next chapter, KM!

Lol, back with the spoton humor.

Lucy and Kyle make a wonderful Lil duo!

Gosh every chapter just shows how varied this little town is, I love it so much! And Gram taking care of Kyle is so cute, I love how she knows just what to do to help him feel better. The same humor is still just as good too, and I'm very glad to see how this has been going so far! I think you've got a wonderful story so far and I can't wait to see what happens next!

Thank you so much, I try all I can to make this as good as it can be!

Birth of a brotastic duo.

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