Goodbye, Great Grandma · 3:59am Jan 18th, 2022
Ninety-six years old. Almost nobody makes it that far, yet you did. I wasn't religious by any means, but I still attended the church ceremony, sat through prayer, and watched your urn be surrounded by smoke. I didn't get to know you for long because you were already having issues by the time I had finally gotten to know you, but I'm glad I got to see the last person of your generation in my family before you passed.
I slept in your house the night before your funeral. I remember when we moved here I didn't have a place to stay so I stayed in your basement for a week. I won't ever be able to get to set foot in your house again, so I told myself I'd stay in it as long as I could before we had to give it up. My cousin stayed too.
We have a party planned on your 100th birthday. Already paid for, mostly by you when you set it up. Twenty thousand dollars for a party. You made it to a new year, did you know? You were in the hospital when the new year rolled by, and I don't know if you were awake for long this year. 1925, you were born. Walked to work until you were 72, and got your license at 74. You were always stubborn and found a way to do things, with our without us. You walked all the way to church everyday, even sometimes holding your cat and taking it with you. We got ten calls every night saying you were going to pass away, but you would suddenly start walking around the hospital like nothing was wrong.
I'm sorry I never spent more time with you. I should've. I was focusing on graduation, and getting a job and a vehicle. I didn't really pay attention to you. Most of the family didn't. Uncle T didn't even show up to your funeral because he was drunk, and if I see him I'm going to break his legs. I always hated him and how he used you. You were too nice to see it though. My father and I have already vowed that we would shoot him if he ever came on our property. Last time he did he tried to fight me, and we still gave him the benefit of the doubt.
You don't have to be used anymore though, great grandma. You can see everyone you know and love up there. You don't have to worry about us anymore. You did that for ninety six years, it seems like. You watched over this family even when they hurt you, even when they didn't care about you. You still were there. You tried to come to my graduation, I remember, but you couldn't. There was too many people, and you had fallen down the stairs the year prior.
I still have your rosary that you gave me. I hang it up on my wall next to my door. I'm not religious great grandma, but I'll keep it forever. I don't know if I'll make it up there where you are, but I like to think I can try. I've done bad things in my life that I'm not proud of, and I'm sorry for that. You know how our family is great grandma. We've been involved in the trade since the sixties. I was bound to get involved sooner or later. But I'm out of it now. I hope that I can live up to your name somehow, even with the sins that I carry.
I feel like I didn't say it enough to you, great grandma, but I love you. I miss you. God is lucky to have you in his light. He won't find another like you.
I’m sorry for your loss, may she Rest In Peace.