My Review of Batman Returns · 1:26am Dec 2nd, 2021

Rating Scale:

12/10—a complete masterpiece; flawless and outstanding
11/10—Excellent, near-perfect film
10/10—the standard rating; awesome film with a couple of flaws
9/10—a wonderful film with several flaws
8/10–a great film with numerous flaws but not enough to ruin it
7/10—a fun and entertaining movie; not great but still enjoyable
6/10—a slightly above average film; it is something I might watch again
5/10—mediocre movie; not awful but not great either
4/10—a below average film; it could have been much better
3/10—a bad film; poorly written and poorly executed
2/10—a very bad movie; the few good things in the movie overshadowed by the bad things
1/10—a terrible movie; a total waste of time
0/10—a worthless piece of abomination; should have never been made

Good evening, my wonderful friends! This is Mr. J with my first Christmas-themed movie review for tonight! Now that my favorite month of the year, December, has arrived, I believe it is high time to tackle some holiday-central films I have planned to review this month as I revealed yesterday. For tonight, I will be reviewing Tim Burton’s Batman Returns! Now, some of you guys who have watched the two Michael Keaton Batman movies may be wondering why I am reviewing the sequel before its predecessor. Well, that is because I have watched the first, third, and fourth films of the series when I was a kid; however, this film is the only one out of the four I have never watched before.

That’s why I decided to review this one first (aside from the fact this film is Christmas-themed). With that said, I just recently watched this movie for the very first time online... and it was absolutely glorious! I genuinely forgot how badass Michael Keaton was as Batman and how the gothic tone can be really unsettling in a good way. This is definitely one of the best films Tim Burton has directed.

After The Joker’s demise, we jump forward to Christmas celebration as all the Gothamites gather together to have their jolly time of the year. However, a new villain arises from the sewers who goes by the alias of The Penguin—a deformed, ponderous man with an umbrella gimmick. Using his tragic backstory as a way to sway people’s emotions and gain their support, he climbs his way up to become Gotham’s mayor. Bruce Wayne is suspicious of this and must discover what Penguin is actually up to.

I must say that Danny DeVito did a fantastic job as Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin. This version of Penguin became the definition type within the Batman franchise when it comes to character design for the namesake. I was actually saddened by the fact his parents threw him out into the sewers because he was deformed and psychotic since he was a baby. That further proves how some people shouldn’t be parents at all. If they won’t bother to take their child to a doctor for professional treatment or better yet to love the bird boy despite his unattractive appearance, then they should have never been parents in the first place. It’s even more sobering that parents like this exist in the real world.

Furthermore, Penguin was both sympathetic and unsympathetic at the same time. There are moments where you would feel sorry for him and want him to be redeemed and moments where he gives no reason for us to feel sorry for him. Truly a psychopath to the end. Danny DeVito perfectly nailed it. At least he had emperor penguins by his side. They were the only family who truly loved him.

Michelle Pfeiffer was likewise amazing in this film. Her portrayal as Catwoman was both intriguing, surprising, and well-executed. The only thing that I didn’t like about her was the way she became Catwoman. After Max Shreck pushed Selina out the window and she falls to her death, she literally revives from the snowy pavement from getting multiple bites from cats. I was... dumbfounded when I watched that scene. Tim Burton... you know how to creep out an audience, I’ll tell you that right now. Aside from that illogical scene, she was pretty great.

The cinematography was splendid, the action scenes were awesome to behold, the character chemistry between Bruce and Selina was well-written, and the story was great and easy to follow along.

I also enjoyed Christopher Walken’s performance as Max Shreck, the Penguin’s ally. Every single line of dialogue he uttered and the way he delivers them was so on-point and hilarious for some reason. He is probably the only character who was unintentionally funny in this movie. Nonetheless, his death scene was both disturbing yet satisfying. That guy was a douchebag to Selina.

This movie shows us how lust for power and revenge can cloud our judgment and ruin our lives. Seeing Penguin so misanthropic was both unique and interesting to see. Unlike Bruce Wayne who had to endure the loss of his parents and use his power for justice, Oswald took the emotional pain he suffered and used it to inflict vengeful pain on humanity. He’s a darker version of Batman in a way. In my opinion, what they did with both Batman and Penguin was awe-inspiring.

Overall, Batman Returns is a worthy sequel to the first film and has now become one of my favorite Batman movies ever. This gets a jolly 10/10!

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