A theory on my family genetics that leaves me next in line for disaster - I'm terrified of this happening at a later age, and signs are already evident

What I'm scared most of is one thing that I've noticed very likely runs in the family, and that, on my end at least, is a bad thing to look forward to. Starting with my grandad, then following on to my dad, who then moves on to me, it's like a chain event.

I don't know what to call this, be it a hunch, paranoia, fear of inheriting a set of physical issues I really do not want, I could call it many things. To begin, fear is running rampant with me the more I age. Having had a recent birthday, it sets in more that my time is coming for this to set in. That alone terrifies me. This is also a fear of my dad's, so if this happens to him, then I know automatically that I'll be next in line.

I'm worried about becoming my grandfather. I don't know exactly what happened to him or if it has anything to do with the fact he was a lorry driver for a now-extinct leather company which meant he spent his entire life mostly sat down behind the wheel, but he cannot walk. Grandad is a tough man, but he's a stubborn man also. Doesn't accept help, even if you talk to him for hours to help him understand. He does not listen and insists he'll do it ''if it's the last thing I do.''

So, the guy can't walk at all. He can still move his legs, but no power is there. He won't even accept a wheelchair, like it was offered and suggested years ago to him. He still won't accept it. Everyone does what they can to help out, but then they stopped because it always ends in a yelling match. He can get so nasty. He at one point was so nasty to me I refused to stay under the same roof and went back to my family home to spend the night (where I didn't actually sleep but instead stayed up all night before collapsing onto my bed back at my grandparents, without him knowing I had left in the first place.)

Dad once told me his legs were so huge that his inner thighs used to touch. Now his legs are skinny. My legs currently are huge at the thigh region, yet my calves are skinny and muscular. I'm dreading at one point they'll end up like dad's. The same I suspect happened to my grandad too. Dad's legs compared to my grandad's are the same, so dad told me himself he's scared it'll happen to him the same way it happened to his dad.

There's also a matter of arthritis in the fingers, where there's a loss of gripping power and they shudder when you move them, clenching and unclenching. I do it often and notice a judder in the movement. My fear here? Grandad lost power in his hands. He can hardly grip. He can still use pens, move pages in the paper and lift things, but it's limited. I worry that'll be me if I get to his age.

My dad is in his early 50's and grandad isn't far away from his 90's (three more years to go), but he's a tough bastard. Life shat on him hard; spat him right back out. If my theory is correct, then I'll have to wait another 25 or 30 years for my own dad to get close to his age to confirm it. I already see and hear similarities in myself between and the two of them to make a solid connection.

• We sound the same
• Have the same tastes in alcoholic beverages
• We've all smoked at one point or more in our lives
• We spent considerable time sat down for extended periods of time
• We have similar voices
• Our hairlines are exact
• We have same facial features
• We have the exact same eye colour
• We have the same attitudes
• We all had the same type of build and body type at my age
• We have the same or similar hates and likes
• We have the same views on certain things
• When I make or say certain phrases, our vocal tones are near to exact
• We are of similar height
• We all have the same attitudes

The list drags on enough to form an essay or comprehensive theorem. There's a lot to take into consideration with enough evidence I've seen but can't explain properly to you if you haven't seen it yourself. Almost being the same person is scary as hell. I'm the only one out of any of my siblings to have inherited mostly my dad's genes. There is some specific point in my grandad's life that took a dive and dramatically declined his physical health that ended up taking his life from him before he could do anything. That time might be close in my dad's life right now. That's IF my theory is correct.

If my theory is correct with the evidence I've put together, then that would put me next in line, as I've voiced my fears over. I at a time during a conversation with my dad about this said to him, ''If I ever get to that age and I can't do anything, I'd rather somebody or something kill me. I don't want to live like that'' and my dad also agreed to that. He didn't want to live that way, either. Like my grandad, he can't not do anything for too long. It drives him insane. He has to work or it irritates him. I'm the same in certain regards.

I might sound paranoid myself over this entire matter, but I can't live like that. I must do things because I can't stand not doing things. It hurts my head. I don't want to be like my grandfather and neither does my dad, but at the same time I don't want to be like my own father. I have many reasons to be scared, and the older I get and the more I observe the facts, the scarier this trip through life gets.

If this indeed runs in the family, whatever it is, then that would mean that it might exist also in my oldest brother or potential others, like my uncles. However this thing might start, I already see some of it in myself. The jittery hands thing, the restlessness, the attitude and rage that follows when tasks get interrupted or halted somehow, the way we act...there is a list, as I've shown. It's all scary.

I even SWEAR as much as my grandad, having adopted a lovingly-obsessive usage of the word, ''fuck''. We all have a grandad impression, where we say his famous two words: ''Fucking hell!'' Mostly we say it when we get angry or are trying to voice our distaste of whatever might be happening. Yesterday's for me was technical errors that made me want to hammer my laptop to scrap.

As Marge once said in The Simpsons during a Halloween Special, ''The change is upon us.''

With the evidence put forward thus far, I think the verdict translates very strongly to: ''Oh, dear.''

If I'm still around by the time I'm middle-aged and provided we're still in touch in whatever future awaits this site and YT, you can judge for yourself on what info I've provided. The results will always speak for themselves. But I once said to my grandmother, ''If I ever reach old age and I get like grandad, if you're listening, you'll hear me shout, ''Fucking hell!'' really loudly!'' and she just laughed.

Peace and love,

Roses are red,
Violets are violet (not purple, stupid),
I am terrified,
Help me get through this rut,
You slut.

- Ribe 💔