My thoughts on the Nintendo direc

Okay so it's the day after my 11 month anniversary, I'm really in love and I want days like yesterday to never end, but I also forgot I'm here to tell you about what I thought of the Nintendo Direct. So here we go.

3DS tits

Kirby's Epic Yarn was a fantastic game from the Wii, and I'm really excited that we're getting a new way to play as the Wiimote and nunchuk is not really fit for platformers. Kinda like Donkey Kong Country Returns on the 3DS. On the Wii, it was easier to play on Donkey Kong Bongos than it was to play on the wiimote, but on the 3DS it's been polished into an actually good and challenging platformer.

Mario and Luigi: Bowser's Inside story is moving from DS to 3DS.

Why.

I'm not gonna lie, I'll probably buy and play the hell outta this game, but only because they added in a new mode about Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings, all of whom are amazing. The only RPG we've ever seen the Koopalings in was Superstar Saga, so it'll be great to see their personalities fleshed out.
My final gripe is that I would've loved to see Partners in Time remastered before Bowser's inside story. It would've been great chronologically. It'll probably be good though

Uhhhh we also got the original Luigi's Mansion on the 3DS. Thanks Nintendo, nobody asked for it, yet you delivered. Mario Sunshine port on switch next?
I love the new two-player feature. But they missed a big fucking opportunity, they could've put Waluigi as player 2 instead that ghostbusters fucko rip-off. It'll probably be awesome though.

And that was it for 3DS tits, time for Switch titties.

Switch Titties

Luigi's Mansion 3. Everybody was asking, and you delivered. Thanks Nintendo.
Also that foreshadowing with the new poltergust in the Simon Belmont smash trailer am I right??

Apparently it's some kind of hotel this time, but I'm gonna call it right here, it's actually a crossover with Castlevania and Luigi will be revealed as a Belmont. Can't wait for that.

Splatoon 2 turned into an anime. It had the intro with the dramatic character stills with names popping up and the abrupt ending that all anime intro songs tend to have. That's fun.

Daemon x Machina also looks fun, it's basically Pacific Rim: The Game but it has a fucking horrible frame rate.

Board games? More like get the fuck outta here Nintendo nobody wants Settlers of Catan on your video gaming system. Pandemic? More like pandemSUCK MY DICK.

Now we get to the most disappointing part of the Direct: The Square Enix titles. The titles themselves aren't disappointing, as a matter of fact, the look pretty damn good. I have always wanted Final Fantasy VII on a Nintendo console so I could play it and now I can. Along with all of the other fucking Final Fantasy Games I guess. The disappointing thing is what square DIDN'T present. Geno in Smash. It was the perfect opportunity, but it didn't happen.

What we learned from the reveal of New Super Mario Bros U DELUXE is the fact that the world record of "who could draw porn of something that was just revealed fastest" was finally broken. It took 1 hour and 45 minutes, and I still don't know what a fuckin' Peachette is.

Katamari Rerolled looks fun. I might get this.

City Skylines. What the fuck is this boring-ass game doing in this direct and why are people actually buying it.

Mega Man 11? More like MEH-GA MAN 11. But the new bosses look fun. I might try it if I like the demo.

Pokémon Let's Go looks like a Pokémon game.

And then there were other games that I've forgotten about by now.

Nintendo Online seems like one fucking boring-ass idea. Nintendo probably won't do shit to the servers, they already suck at making friending systems, this is just unholy. Except the NES games. I'm actually looking forward to those. I view this as an extremely cheap alternative to the fucking $100 NES classic. $20 for a year is a Godsend. But the NES joycons are just... cursed. Don't buy them.

And then finally, we got something we've been waiting for- a new Smash character reveal.

God dammit

But actually I am so glad that they finally announced a new Animal Crossing Game. I'm definitely gonna play the hell out of it when it comes out. As for Isabelle in smash? Ehhhhhh I guess. She doesn't seem formidable enough to be a fighter but we got a new character so it's cool.

In conclusion: 0/10 no Goku or Geno.

Comments

[Diokno44]

Hahahahaahah! That little clip of Isabelle