• Member Since 26th Jun, 2016
  • offline last seen September 1st

Xenay


22 year old girl from Germany. POTS warrior. TwiDash shipper.

More Blog Posts19

  • 123 weeks
    Whelp.

    Pretty sure most of my followers have noticed by now that I'm almost never here anymore. I've been thinking about revoking all my stories, cause... I don't know, it just feels weird having something out in the open and never checking to see if anyone steals it or something. Maybe I'm just weird. I had already revoked a few the last time I was here, a few months ago.

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    0 comments · 141 views
  • 172 weeks
    Sorry

    Not quitting the story just very depressed

    0 comments · 219 views
  • 182 weeks
    Bad news

    So.. I’ve had a long time EKG on Monday and it showed the quick changes of heart frequency and the tachycardia..

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    2 comments · 224 views
  • 185 weeks
    Possibly dying (?)

    Over the last month, my health has gone worse. It started with the usual dizzyness I’ve had all my life reoccurringly. And now I can barely leave my bed without having to hold onto something to keep from fainting.

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    3 comments · 276 views
  • 190 weeks
    New Meds

    As the title says, I´m on new meds now. Away from simple SSRI anti-depressants, to something for depression, PTSD, sozial anxiety, anxiety attacks and OCD. They have 50mg and until the next appointment I gotta take a half. I am not going into detail as to why. Simply because it´s not something I want to post openly on the internet. (You´re probably gonna hear about it through stories anyways..)

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    1 comments · 202 views
Jun
6th
2018

Bad news · 3:54pm Jun 6th, 2018

So.. I’ve had a long time EKG on Monday and it showed the quick changes of heart frequency and the tachycardia..
my father remembered how I had abnormal heart tones - the doctors blamed it on the way/position my mum laid - and thinking about it, I’ve always had a bit of the symptoms that I have so strongly now. No doctor ever thought of taking me seriously all these years when I claimed to have irregular heartbeats. (Doesn’t explain some parts though, like the pain in my bones and the chapped lips but that isn’t priority right now.)

So.. apparently I was born with a heart condition. Got homeopathic tablets now..
I am 19 years old, autistic, bullied in every school, battled clinical depression for over 10 years, anorexia for almost 3, lost people I considered friends, was raped as a child, verbally and physically (hitting) abused almost all my life, and now I got a heart condition.

I’m sorry for being so.. dramatic..
kinda hard to process this... feeling utterly broken :/

Comments ( 2 )

I am so sorry to hear that about you.

My prayers are with you:fluttercry: I don’t know what it’s like to go through all these things that you’re going through and I can only imagine who hard and sad it is. Please stay strong:pinkiesad2: And know that we are here with you

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