Marwile watches SAO: "Everyone is an Idiot"

If you're living in germany, you might have heard of the big news that a certain german TV channel decided to put an anime into their program for the first time (apparently not counting the One Piece movies). Their daughter channel already managed to revive the anime afternoon and has a weekly anime night with a pretty cool selection. (Only dubs, but it's better than nothing and at least they were all decent so far) So yeah, my hope is that if it does well enough we might get more anime and it doesn't end up with the same fate as shows like Supergirl or This Is Us (because apparently germans have no taste in TV shows).

They shouldn't have chosen Sword Art Online. But despite being a huge anime fan, I've never seen this anime that's famous for being infamous (or the other way around). And because I've nothing better to do Tuesday 11pm, I've decided to watch it. And yes, going in I already know that it's bad (I watch Mother's Basement [though every other anime reviewer also counts]).

For those lucky people that don't know, Sword Art Online is an anime about people being trapped in a virtual reality MMORPG with the same and if they die in the game they also die in real game. The only way to escape: Reach the top dungeon and beat the final boss. Our protagonist is gamer Jesus Kirito, one of the beta testers of the game. He... doesn't like real live, has trusting issues and... ehmm... he has a sister... I seriously wish I could say more about him.

So, what did I take away from watching the first two episodes: Everyone is an idiot! Seriously everyone. The company behind SAO first and foremost for creating helmets that fry your brain when taken off while still activated (because putting your head in a microwave is so save [they made the microwave comparison, I just took it to its logical conclusion]). Also not creating an emergency logout feature. Did you learn nothing from literally every VR sci fi story?

Before I continue why everyone's an idiot, let's quickly finish episode 1: We get an actually interesting premise, most girls turn out to be boys (sounds about right) and Kirito runs off alone for better grinding, because apparently the resources are finite (I admit I don't really have much MMO experience, but that doesn't sound right) and end. The first episode doesn't do much besides explaining the setting, the world of the game and the general conflict. But I have to admit it does this fairly good so far.

Alright, I have a small confession to make. Because the TV in my room just happened to break today, I had to watch in our living room with low volume to wake nobody up. So it's possible that I didn't hear or understand every detail (like the name of the blue haired guy in episode 2)

Anyways episode 2 starts and it turns out that everyone also fails at being a gamer. One month has passed, 2000 people have already died and they still haven't found the first boss. (Let's just ignore the fact that in 2022 human bodies can survive more than 48 hours without nurture or movement. I know there are ways, but as long as the show doesn't acknowledge it) They finally find the first boss and are rallied together by the blue haired guy. It also turns out everyone blames the beta testers for not sharing information, but then it turns out they did and 2000 people basically died by not reading the manual.

Here Kirito also meets our female lead, Asuna. Who for some reason hides her identity and maybe even her gender with a cloak. (what's the worst that could happen when they found out you're a girl? Getting raped by tentacles?... Wait) On the way to the boss Kirito and Asuna have some conversations. I didn't really pay much attention, because I was already ranting on Discord about everyone's idiocy. But from what I can take away Asuna tries to be a lonely badass, but barely has any idea how everything works outside battle.

They reach the first boss and fight it and when the blue-haired guy tries to steal the kill, it turns out they made the boss stronger since the beta and it One Hit Kills him... The first boss... OHKO... Show me one good first boss that does that...

Kirito tries to save him with a potion. The blue-haired guy reveals he was also a beta tester and refuses to take the potion, because... he doesn't actually give a reason. And so, the smartest person in the room (relatively spoken) dies by his own stupidity.

Anyways, Kirito and Asuna fight the boss, beat it and Kirito gets his signature black cloak (I admit it looks badass). Someone points out he's too good and probably a beta tester. Kirito alienates himself from everyone else by giving his best Nagito Komaeda impression and claiming he was the only good player among the beta testers, which I'm inclined to believe by what was shown so far.

And in the end we get to the, in my opinion, most unnecessary moment in these two episodes: Asuna asking where Kirito knew her name from and telling her that names are shown beside the life bar when in a party. First, we already knew this, because we saw this in an actually nice moment of show-don't-tell when they formed their party, which has now been ruined. Second, this does nothing besides damaging Asuna character by making her as much an oblivious idiot as everyone else. Do I look way too much into these ten seconds while I basically just skimmed over episode 1? Probably.

So these were the first two episodes and I'm already ranting about everyone's dumbness.(I'll probably even put it into the title of the blog) And the worst part? This is supposed to be the good part. Setting and setup are actually interesting and could lead to some good stories. Sadly I know already that's not the case. But in some kind of masochistic curiosity I'm actually looking forward to it. And next week I'll probably rant about episodes three and four.

Oh, and the german dub is pretty decent so far. Kinda forgot to mention...