On Suicide, Depression, and Cyber Bullying · 7:35am Feb 1st, 2018
Hi everyone.
I've been seeing things from people that I follow online this week that have been troubling me, and I feel like I need to say something about it.
The first thing I want to talk about is cyber bullying. I've never been a victim of cyber bullying, but I know that a lot of people have been at some point in their lives. People who are cyber bullies say that they can get away with bullying online. Many people who have been cyber bullied have taken drastic measures to escape their torment. A couple of days ago, one of the youtubers I followed put out a vlog detailing how they have been cyber bullied after entering social media and building up a large following. This person creates their daily vlogs with the intention of spreading inspiration and positivity, and have a long and strong standing in the community that they are in. There are people who have created hate groups of facebook for the sole purpose of hating on this person. This person's friends who have a similar business to them have been avoiding going to events with or being publicly affiliated with this person due to the bad reputation they have due to these people. The facts they spit out have no backing. The ones that do are just mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. If you do 99 good things, but one bad thing, does that make you a bad person? No. This brings me to a general point about the internet culture that I feel very strongly about. People are eager to hate. Good things go unnoticed, but the slightest bad thing will be taken by someone and blown out of proportion. They spin stories and lies to attack and ruin good and honest people just because of small mistakes that anyone is prone to. In their vlog, this youtuber talked about how though suicide heavily affected their life, they never wanted to take their own life before, because they loved life. But after the cyber bullying got extreme, they wanted to die. Not because they wanted to end their life, but to make these people pay for the pain that they've caused. Why are people on the internet so quick to pick out small things that apparently prove that someone is a horrible person? Why doesn't the encouragement and positivity have a greater impact than the hate? I think that people are bullies because they feel badly about themselves, and to make themselves feel better, they take down the happy people and make them miserable. But here's the thing. Happiness is NOT relative. If everyone is miserable, and you are the least miserable, that doesn't mean that you are happy. You're still miserable. So don't waste your energy hurting other people for nothing. Go out and do something with your life. Go make the world a better place. Stop the hate. Please.
Another thing I want to talk about is suicide. Suicide is a really hard topic to talk about, and that needs to change. The more people that are willing to talk about it freely, the less stigma attached to it, the easier it will be for those considering suicide to seek help. I saw a blog post from someone I follow on this site talking about how they just found out that another member on the site had committed suicide a few months ago. I went to the user's page and looked at the comments on the blog post announcing this tragedy, and do you know what I found? I found questions of 'why did she do it' and 'how did she do it.' If you ask these questions upon learning that someone killed themselves, let me ask you this: what does it matter now? They're already gone. It doesn't matter. You're too late. What's the point in asking? Another thing I saw was someone suggesting that the user might be lying about their suicide. And I find it interesting that this was one of the first things to come to someone's mind. Yes, they might have seen it happen before. But this is the stigma problem that exists. If someone comes to you and says that they're considering suicide, do you consider that they might be lying? Maybe you have. I have. That split second of wondering is enough to make that person lose trust in you. Because they know you don't believe them. When news comes out that somebody actually went through with it, why do we believe that they're lying? Why can't we take it seriously? If they are lying, then they're horrible to lie about something so serious that many people have fallen victim to. And shame on them, but they should be left to figure that out on their own. But we shouldn't question whether they're lying or not. We need to learn to trust each other. I just think it's disrespectful to doubt that someone killed themselves when it was claimed that they had. It's disrespectful to people who have actually fallen victim to suicide and suicidal thoughts. This air of disbelief is what makes it hard for suicidal people to actually talk about it. They think that people will think they're lying and just doing it for attention. And they're afraid with good reasons. It's these doubts we place. Now, if you happen to know who any of the people I talked about are, I'm not antagonizing them. I don't think they're bad people. I'm not attacking them, and neither should you. This is just one example of many, many similar scenarios. I think most of us are guilty of doubting and questioning claims of suicide and mental illness and such on the internet. But we need to start believing each other and listening to each other. That's how we help the people who are really suicidal.
The last thing I want to talk about is depression and mental illness in general. I suffer from chronic depression. I feel like I'm not getting any better. I'm not going to tell you to believe in yourself and go get help and everything will get better because it hasn't gotten better for me yet. I feel like giving up almost every day. Many days I stay in bed and skip school because I don't see the point in trying. I'm bored with everything I do, but everything new sounds boring too. I'm bored and tired and burnt out, and I'm sad all the time, and I'm lonely. My friends are drifting away and I find myself wondering why. I keep avoiding therapy because I've convinced myself it doesn't work. Some days I skip my meds and sometimes it's fine but sometimes it throws me off for half a week. I don't know if I'll get better. But so far, I'm still here. My personal OC on this site is part phoenix. I chose that because I consider myself to be a phoenix. Things get bleak, and I stay in bed for days, and I feel like all is lost. But then I get the smallest spark that enables me to rise from those ashes. I won't say that I turn into something healthy and beautiful. I don't. I'm reincarnated into the same sick ugly bird I was, but I guess that's better than a dead ugly bird? I'm not sure if this is making any sense. I guess I'm going for a cheesy "we're all phoenixes" thing. But we are. Sometimes we just have to hunt for the spark that keeps us going.
I've done enough rambling on. If you're considering suicide, please just stay a while longer. Use that extra time to talk to someone. If you don't have anyone to trust, call a suicide hotline. You might not believe me, but your life is worth it. If you're depressed or have other mental health issues, don't be afraid to see a therapist or doctor, or consider medication. No problem is too big or too small to see a professional about. Like I said before: misery is not relative. Just because someone is suffering more than you doesn't mean you aren't also suffering. Don't let anyone tell you that "other people have it worse off than you." That's horse apples. If you're being bullied, there are ways to get help for that too. Don't be afraid to look into them. Bullying is wrong, it doesn't matter if it's fists or typed out words.
Show kindness to each other. Offer listening ears. Talk about issues with each other. Stop the hate, stop the stigma. Stay strong, everyone.
PeryFire
Thank you for posting this.
4786958
Thank you for listening.