I Feel Angsty... · 3:36pm Oct 15th, 2012
So, a quick warning... This blog might make you feel sad... But every word is true, so please pay attention if you are going to read it...
So, I'm a senior in high school, and my grades... well, frankly- they suck... I have a F in three of my classes, and low grades in the rest of them. My parents are less than helpful... My dad just yells at me about them and my mom isn't much help either, and all they seem to do is take away my iPod and computer pivileges... I hate to sound like a whiney brat here, but I live on the internet, and I seriously need my iPod...
Last week, it sort of came to a climax with my parents... My mom and I had a fight on my way home from school and it ended with me getting out of the car yelling that the moment I turned 18 I was packing up my stuff, dropping out of high school, and leaving... Then my thoughts turned darker... I thought, "If I were to leave, who would actually miss me?"
I started thinking about it... I have quite a few friends in school, but none that I've ever known outside of school... Well, except for one... but she hates my guts, for reasons that I STILL don't know, and its been nearly 2 years!
I actually started writing suicide letters!! I First, I wrote to the girl who hated me... Heh, I still love her, she's like the awesome sister that I wish I had... I wrote one to the only Brony friend that I have where I live... Then I wrote a general letter to my family... And I was SMILING the entire time while I was writing these!!!
Then I was sitting there. A cup of water in one hand, and a bunch of sleeping pills in the other... And I couldn't do it... Not yet... I still have a few things to do before I can even think about letting myself die... I may yet do it, just for the hell of it, and for curiosity of seeing what the other side looks like...
While every word of this blog is true, I don't want any of you to worry... Should I die, I'll at least die knowing what I'm doing, and die happily...
Onwards and Upwards; Allons-y!!
It's not too late for your grades. I was failing about 4/6 classes of my classes with three months left of high school and I still graduated! All it takes is to get a little help, like an after school tutoring program, or sitting down with your teachers and seeing what you can do to raise your grades. And also..... If you EVER kill yourself, I will drag your soul back and beat the crap outta you till you realize that suicide is NEVER NEVER NEVER an answer!!!!!!
423955 I realize its not the answer... I am using suicide as a tool to find the answer!
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