Chapter 11 Snippet · 11:09pm Oct 9th, 2012
Kairi woke up to her shoulder being rubbed. She smiled slightly, feeling Sora’s hoof against her, and sighed. “Alright, alright, Sora, I’ll get up.” She had barely finished speaking when a yawn shoved its way past her teeth with the force of a locomotive. “And I was having such a good dream too. Darkness beyond twilight…I want to learn that spell so bad.” Chuckles near her brought her closer into the land of the awake and rested.
“Sorry Kairi, but Sora’s not here right now,” Rainbow Dash told her. “He’s off with Twilight.”
Kairi blinked several times as she lifted her head from where she’d been lying down. “He’s with Twilight?” she asked. Rolling her neck and shoulders to get a few of the kinks out of them, she continued, “Why’s he with Twilight? What are they up to?”
“She wanted to examine the magic around your wings,” Trixie answered. “The way she described it makes its existence very intriguing, and Trixie wouldn’t mind an explanation herself.” Kairi blinked at Trixie, and then turned to Riku. She opened her mouth.
“Soohah ahn I af mahic awound our wings?” she asked, suddenly trying to talk through a yawn.
Riku nodded his head, not hiding his smile. “Yeah, you guys do. Some freaky sort of harmonious magic or something. Twilight Sparkle’s going ballistic trying to figure it out. Did you two meet the god of chaos last night while you were having your date in the sculpture garden?”
“Yeah, we did,” Kairi answered lightly. She looked out the window, noticing that the train was no longer moving. “Are we here already?”
“Wait a moment,” Applejack said, “are you tellin’ us that y’all met Discord last night?”
“Yes,” Kairi told her. “He’s still a stone statue, and he spoke into our minds, but he just wanted to chat.”
“Discord just wanted to chat?” Pinkie Pie asked, frowning and sharing a look with Rainbow Dash.
“Apparently he’s really, really, bored as a statue,” Kairi supplied.
“What was he like?” Rei asked. Kairi thought about it for a moment.
“For being a spirit of chaos and disharmony he was surprisingly well-grounded.”
“Enough chit-chat about chit-chatting with Discord,” Pinkie Pie announced. She stood up on her hind legs. “We’ve got to go get Sora and Twilight so we can give you guys a grand tour of Ponyville and top the whole thing off with a party!”
Kairi chuckled inwardly and followed Pinkie Pie as she led the way down the car towards another, presumably where Sora and Twilight had gone. The pink party pony opened the door and stepped back with a flourish of her hoof and slight bow of her head, allowing Kairi to be the first one into the car, and what the pegasus saw made her stop dead in her tracks.
She could feel Naminé rubbing her ‘eyes’ as her Nobody took a second look in shock. Well, the blonde said from within, we’re certainly awake now.
Sora was right-side up in the centre of the car, his face blushing profusely and eyes glued to his right wing while ropes covered in magenta light were tied to his four legs, leaving him completely suspended in the car. Four more ropes were looped around his barrel, each anchored to a different seat and already taut, preventing him from ascending. Standing next to him, with one of his wings in her hooves, was Twilight Sparkle, and the unicorn’s horn was radiating with the same magenta glow that encased the levitating ropes and Sora’s wing.
Poomf!
413488 What are you talking about? A big, bold, badass picture is absolutely perfect for Rainbow Dash!
May the Grace of the Valar Protect You
Shire Folk
What is the name of the prequel to this, and where do I find it?
413608 Huh? What prequel? What are you talking about? This is a snippet from the upcoming chapter of Guardians of Magic, which is the KH/MLP crossover that I write, so that's why it's on my blog.
May the Grace of the Valar Protect You
Shire Folk
413617
When you talked about how Zelda was one of the Guardians, I assumed that there was a prequel. Forgive me if I'm wrong.
413621 Oh? That?
There is no prequel in existence. This story is Twilight and Trixie's, though oftentimes it will seem like it's Sora's, Riku's, Kairi's, and Rei's, but that's mostly because I'm far too comfortable writing SRK after having been doing it for so long. We jump right into the early middle of Sora's adventuring, and I have to figure out and explain the past to everyone. It's new and exciting for me!
May the Grace of the Valar Protect You
Shire Folk
So, Twilight is into magical bondage, huh.
So I should mention. I f***ing loathe the "wingboner" and wings as erogenous zones memes. Using them as emotionally expressive is fine. But not as erectile tissue. It should be psychological not physical. Fluttershy does push-ups with her wings... try to keep the story closer to canon than fanon. Memes are for internet lulz.
413488
Here.
http://denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw4912_small.jpg
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw4912_small.jpg
413492 413505
Site rules say posted images should be no larger than 600x600. I'm not complaining, just explaining.
413825
Now if she doesn't realize what she's doing, That's be an awkward talk with Dash.
Yay! A sneak peek at the next chapter!
Little suggestion on making the yawn-talk more readable: make the 'r' in Sora a 'w' instead of an 'h', like you did with around. Also, putting an apostrophe at the beginning of "have", i.e. 'af, may help suggest that there's more to the word. ex. until = 'til
That second point isn't as critical to understanding what's being said, but I had to come back a couple of times before I knew that it said "Sora" and not "so" or something like that. Otherwise I was able to understand it without much difficulty.
And your writing, for me at least, is engaging and has good flow, as usual.