Say the Words · 2:12am Jun 23rd, 2017
I.
Say the words, and I am forgiven.
Say the words, and a thousand years will melt away like snow.
I come to you, crossing the River Styx on a raft made of burning tears,
backwards in time, color to black-and-white,
with nothing on my back but the vain hope of undoing my mistakes.
My heart, like a compass, points to you,
is pulled to you through my heavy chest.
I am dying, I am dead, a corpse walking.
I ask only for the words, and I can die without regret.
I am not worthy to wash the dirt from your hooves,
but if I could just see you, once, passing, and know,
from a nod of the head, from a smile, from an electric bond between us,
that the past was no more,
a spirit left alive only by distance,
a shadow that both of us have left aside...
then I would know we are square.
The hatchet buried,
the bridge un-burnt,
the bond reforged.
Would you... call me "father," as you once did?
Or did I sell that title for my own foolish pride?
Ah! Is that you? Or do my old, rheumy eyes deceive me?
A blur of yellow and gold, like sunset behind clouds,
like sunken treasure, and you are before me.
---
"Welcome to Ponyville! I'm sorry, who did you say you were looking for? ...Oh, dear. You haven't heard, have you? She's been dead for eight or nine years now. There was a sickness a while back, and it took Apple Mac first, then her. ...No, thank Celestia, she survived, and the children too, but only barely. ...Their names? Big Macintosh, Applejack, and Apple Bloom. I'm sure they'll come by sometime in the next couple days."
---
II.
She is dead.
My dearest wife, the love of my life.
Through milky, unseeing eyes, with liquid-filled lungs,
she said with her dying breath, "Go back and beg on your knees for forgiveness."
She is dead.
Dead before I knew. As a parent, aren't you supposed to feel it?
A sudden pang, faster than light, time and space, that tells you?
Or is that the fault again of disowning her?
But I never disowned her, not in my heart,
only in foolish words.
She is not dead.
That damned, horrid woman! The one who caused this whole mess!
Shouldn't she have died first, and left my lovely daughter whole?
...No, that is not fair. As they say, it takes two to tango.
I've only proven that I still do not deserve the forgiveness I crave.
...
He is not dead. She is not dead. She is not dead.
Will you, O children-of-my-children, say the words?
Do you know of our hate? Did you inherit it, a cursed provenance?
Does the hatred of Pears boil in your blood?
Will my presence rankle your skin, like an allergic reaction?
When you see me, will your eyes glaze over, and will you attempt to tear me apart,
like timberwolves attacking their prey?
Would I not deserve it?
I deserve to be buried in ice and thrown into the deepest abyss.
But all that can be forgotten.
It cannot be undone, but it can be forgiven.
Say the words, and I am forgiven.
Say the words, and a thousand years will melt away like snow.
Man, this was a critical hit to the feels, especially after watching that episode. This was surprisingly smooth and heavy throughout. Awesome work!
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Thanks! I just watched the episode last night, and that was the first thing I realized after watching. "Did he know his daughter had died when he arrived in Ponyville?" I was curious what would have happened at that precise moment. I'm glad it had the pathos I intended.