Writing and Meta 01: Minor fixes and initial character representation

Now, first of all, as I already mentioned before (or should have mentioned at least) I consider a current version of the story a draft. As my writing skills are mediocre at their best, my intent and it's execution may just turn to be a completely different things. So, I'm going to do a slightly controversial thing here. I'm going to describe at least some of my intend behind the certain points of the story. As I'm obviously avoiding significant spoilers here, but I think that a more direct comparison between my intent and the final result may be productive for the story.

There's a natural downside of going meta to a certain degree, but it can't be helped much.
I may even add a few !!! Warnings !!! or something like that to the 'informational' posts in the future.

***

So, with that in mind, what's the point of the prologue?

Four things:

- establish a point of time, where the story takes place in relation to canon. (about 2 years actually, which should be clear for those who are interested)
- introduce a point of divergence (Yes it's personified this time. Crash acts a personified plot-device at the start as his presence and actions start the whole thing)
- introduce main character and the supporting cast (to a different degree,sure)
- to end on 'revelation' punchline, to be continued in the first chapter from the 'high' point.

*It's rather funny that among the first concepts/ideas I considered to go straight towards the time of the canon MLP:EG right after the prologue, while switching the perspective to Twilight Sparkle for the first (rather short) story of the series. Idea was eventually discarded due to various plotholes and inconsistency though*

So, on the characters shown:

1) Gilda is 'barely there', yes, which is true both in the prologue and in the first chapter, but it's intended this way and she has IC reason to be present and act this way. (And it's not about her playing games on a console here).

2) Lighting Dust is supposed to be seen as straightforward and easygoing to a certain extent. Yes, she is also fangirling on Crash (even if it's more about him representing what she wants to be, and having what she wants to have, rather than a typical variance), and she's not subtle about it. She also fades a bit to the background in the second part (cause she is told to do so before), but she's supposed to get more characterization later

*considering that their role for now is really small and simple, I do not think that I made any major blunder here, but I won't mind being corrected*

3) Crash is supposed to be presented as a rather generic 'rich and popular guy' with maybe a quirk or two at first, and then to change this impression once he is shown and starts talking.

*And at least before the last edits I think that I failed hard with the first part. It's not like he just appears and then everyone likes him, because lol, charisma. It's more like a teenage celebrity leaving nearby with even less responsibility (as it seems) than usual. Some students like him and/or want to be him, some loathe and/or hate him, but he's known around the neighborhood. This part may require additional editing*

*At least I supposedly succeeded with the second part. He's supposed to demonstrate 'some' care but not really seem sincere or trustworthy. Like saying "look, I can be nice to you if I want, but.." More like condescending and self-serving with a tint or two of easygoing and casual-ness. And it's only to be expanded upon in the next chapter.*

4) Sunset Shimmer, our MC, is not a nice girl.

Basically at the start she wants to know a rich and popular guy because she wants his money and to be popular herself. She's also bitter, annoyed with her current predicament and also resentful.(even if she can partially cope with the above, given that she had some time for reflection and blaming others)

She despises Crash's known persona, but is fine to work over it for her own gain.

*So far I think it's kinda ok, but again any commentary would be appreciated*

For now, that's about it. May be expanded upon in the future, though.