Last Night Between Mundis And Morpheus

Last night between Mundis and Morpheus, I rolled over and opened my eyes to see the Build-a-Bear of Princess Luna laying next to me seemingly propped up on her side, smiling, as if ready for a relaxed chat. The look in her eyes and her knowing smile seemed to say, “I’ve been there too: the fear, the doubt, the blame and regret. I’m still here and so too shall you be.” Her hoof appeared to be extended and extending: my eyes saw no movement, but I felt her hoof press over my heart. I dare to think I understood this gesture for in that moment, I began to think or maybe feel that all the things that make me toss and turn at night, all the wolves that come to bite, might spring not from myself alone, but like Luna, they spring from the belief that no life should suffer, all things should be perfect. The pain of disappointment so much worse because of this. Maybe I blinked and looked off somewhere, but I thought I saw a momentary look of sadness in her eye. Then I noticed her wing was raised, and although I did not see it, the blanket atop me pressed in gently in the shape of a wing.

I laid my head back down and let the silent tears fall. I didn’t understand, I still don’t understand, but I no longer felt restless and slept peacefully. Sometimes it happens that I have dreams that I can’t remember and I have come to believe it is because the experiences are too far outside the understanding of this brain that it doesn’t know how to handle this information. That’s how I woke up this morning, but I heard Chasing Cars while on a walk, and suddenly, all of this came rushing back. I think it was sang in the dream, and listening to the lyrics, I can see how it would have come up. I had to share this, even without answers, just to say that it happened.