Persona (As explained by someone who doesn't know Persona) · 1:31pm Apr 10th, 2017
Get ready to cringe.
Through this blog, I will attempt to tell you everything I know about the Persona franchise through past influence WITHOUT looking at a Wiki or anything like that. Please enjoy this blog, and by all means to those die-hard Persona fans: cringe the night away.
Oh, and here's some music to accompany you on your journey through.
Okay, so, Persona is a game franchise where you, generic white/black/blue-haired anime protagonist, move to a remote town with your uncle or some shit and begin the game like some kinda dating simulator with his 12-year-old daughter who may or may not be evil or something. Yeah, because that's how I want to start my fantasy RPG about fighting demons!
But how can we forget the very important opening scene with creepy old long-nose guy with bloodshot eyes?
Yeah... That wasn't fun.
Anyway, generic anime protagonist has to go to school the VERY next day they arrive at their new home. Like, the dude just came overnight; you're not even going to let him rest for a few days? You're just gonna boot him right into that school so you can have the house all to yourself with your daughter? Yeah, that seems logical. I mean, I don't want to disturb your bonding time with your precious daughter or anything like that!
...fuckin' pedophile...
Anyway, we meet up with our friends for the remainder of the year! You got all the classics! Generic cute girl, generic salty girl, generic idiot guy, generic bully guy, generic popular girl, generic pretty boy, generic tomboy, generic homosexual, and of course generic the cute animal friend who will accompany us on our journey. Great! The gang's all here!
Also let's all wear glasses for some reason and be drawn by an artist who CAN'T DRAW EYES FOR SHIT.
Seriously, eyes are not that far apart from each other, man.
We begin our adventure by talking to people. And then going to class. And then talking to some more people. And then going to class again. And then talking to some other people. And then going to cla- Am I even playing an RPG anymore? I feel as if I took the wrong game and accidentally bought a dating simulator. Holy shit, dude, that was a joke in my other paragraph! How much talking do I actually have to do in this game?
Huh?
What was that? More than 70% of the game is talking with people? IN SCHOOL?! I play video games to get away from school, and yet here I am playing a game about going to school and bonding with people I'm forced to put in my party because that's what the game wants from me. I want to see if you actually have to go to different classes based on the in-game time of day, but I promised not to go on Wikipedia and learn more about the game. Though knowing how cumbersome this seems I wouldn't put it past the franchise.
I DO know there's a time system in which certain things only happen at certain times, thus forcing you to wait on your ass and talk with EVEN MORE people while you wait to, I dunno, play the fucking game?
Alright, so besides the... PAINFULLY long opening that puts Pokemon Sun and Moon's opening hours to shame, what about the actual RPG element? Well I do know that in Persona 4 you go into a TV world where everything sucks balls and there's a bear with a blonde guy inside of it. I also know that in that game is a boss that looks like a character from an 8-bit game with a baby inside of it! Good!
I do want to say that Persona has a lot of symbolism. Like not even subtly; that shit is in your face 24/7. Like the 8-bit boss I think represents some guy's childish love for video games or some shit and it's like the hardest boss in the game? Or even that one guy with a boss battle that tests his own sexuality because he's GAY. Or how about the girl who hates the fact she's a girl and thus her boss is a GODDAMN ALIEN FIGHTER PLANE.
Like what the fuck? ATLUS, stop taking things so literally.
Personas are the main way characters battle in this game. Personas are figments of a person's soul or something and thus physically look like whatever that person's personality is. They can be upgraded I think and they eventually evolve to bigger and stronger Pokem- I mean, Personas. Except the main character who's Persona doesn't evolve until the last battle. Great job there, buddy. Really looking out for me. Everyone already has stronger demons and you're lagging behind.
So after everyone is saved from themselves because "LOL Persona get it?", and after we imprison a serial killer because he was feeling upset at someone as serial killers usually do, we finally see that the true evil behind every event in the game was none other than...
The gas station lady who had no relevance to the plot besides touching the main protagonist's hand.
...uh...
And also she's a demon who has connections to the main character's Persona who wants to take over the world because... she wants to take over the world, I guess. And she does it all by making people angry with themselves.
Anyway, we kick her ass and then the main protagonist has to move away from town because he needs to go back to his shitty city away from all the idiots he made friends with in boring-ville, thus rendering literally every single bonding conversation totally mute and making me realize I've wasted my time playing a video game where I talk to random people and solve their own fucking problems through literally, and I mean LITERALLY fighting their inner demons.
Roll the credits.
Put down the controller.
Burn the game.
And that's all I know about Persona! I hope you enjoyed this little blog of mine. With the release of Persona 5 and me not giving a shit about it, I decided this blog was the best way to celebrate! Because celebrating things by making fun of said things and its fandom is clearly an intelligent thing to do.
Hope you all have a great day!
Especially you, Kirito. 
persona is better than jojo and other RPG's except FF and the reason for talking so much is because of Social links to power up and create other persona's and the main character is a wild card basically the fool arcana that has infinite potential.. i just realized i'm salty as fuck XD
4490847
I understand the importance of talking in the game. Hell, all RPGs have talking sections to explain plot. What I don't like about Persona is how nothing happens until later in the game which bores the crap out of me. If I'm playing an RPG, I want to get to the action and beat up some bad guys.
This isn't bashing on those who like the game either. If you like the game, I don't give a shit, more power to you. I'm just saying this particular type of RPG isn't my kinda thing.
4490973 it's fine I mean it is a very long game it's really not for people that really isn't patient for the plot wise I mean I see what you mean. I like it the slow pace the character development
Funny that you come with this right after I got Persona 5...
I don't know much about the series either, but wanted to get into it for some time and after Breath of the Wild I needed something from the other end of the spectrum. Or maybe because I recently got into Jojo and personas seem pretty similar to stands... Would explain why I gave my character the family name "Joestar"...
What was this targeted at me? I never would have guessed.
Anyway, this was an amazing and entertaining read. And thanks for the congratulations blog, Persona 5 coming out for us is kinda like Final Fantasy 15 coming out for Final Fantasy fans. Even if I can't play it yet.
4491002
Just beware of the Joestar curse, mate.
4491185
Eh... Wasn't really interested in FFXV. I'm more of an older game kinda guy, despite my age.
Hey, I was raised by parents who appreciate the past, therefore I have an appreciation for the past as well.
4491692
Speaking of, there's a rumor that Square is talking about remastering the first 9 final fantasy games. If that were to happen, I'm pretty sure I'd explode with concentrated joy. (Not like a major graphical overhaul, just sorta, bundling them together for the Switch or something.)
Hey s'all good. I've been getting into older games myself, Vita is a Godsend for playing those older RPGs to be frank.
4491708
Ugh... But let's not forget the last time they tried that:
lh4.ggpht.com/_gauRsVZ7H8XjUfOpy3X1Afkh3r5Qft9eCDW7AANe3Nzv948REq8Yn8XC5FpfSjbMw=h900
4491709
UGGHHHHH! WHAT WAS SQUARE THINKING WITH THAT NONSENSE!?