FMF 4: 6 January 2017

Happy New Years, readers! Welcome to the fourth weekly Fandom Music Friday. This week marks the one year anniversery of my fanfiction writing experience. The very first fanfiction I ever saw (not read, ironically enough) was the My Little Dashie Mini Movie by StormFX3. I also found a "Sequel," "Threequel," and "Fourth Time's a Charm" follow-up readings on YouTube all read by Rainbow Laugh. I binge watched/listened through the series, and I cried so much I literally got sick to my stomach. (Don't do what I did. Give yourself time to recover between them.)

Now, what's a movie without a score? Try thinking of your favorite movie without the music. It kind of falls flat, right? Well, MLD is no exception. Most of the music, from my understanding, is just generic, royalty-free music, but several bits at the end actually come from the following fanmade music specifically made for MLD by DarkWolfDoritos.

Though individual selections of the music were used out of order, it's still there in StormXF3's video, perhaps most notably in and just before the end credits, though it also plays while the dad reads Dashie's note. Say what you will about the story, say what you will about the movie adaptation, but this music is so special to me. I was in a really dark time in early 2016. This movie made me cry for the first time in years. I realize now that bottling up all my emotions "because I'm a guy and guys don't cry" is stupid and unhealthy.

This is the first week of 2017. I needed to rewatch the mini movie version to remind myself just how far I've come. I'm not the kid I was in early 2016, and that's a good thing. I'm not going to lie, this year hasn't been easy. The first half of 2016 was my worst semester ever academically. This most recent semester, while better academically, was easily my worst semester socially.

*sigh* Oh, My Little Pony, "I love you with all my heart. You have done wonders to open me up from the person I once was. You have brought me so much joy in my life. I can't ever possibly thank you for it all. These seven years I've followed your characters--watching, reading, writing!--all those have been so special to me. I just want you to know that I will forever love you." --adapted from the text of MLD

Shoot. Now I'm a crying mess. Gimmie a second...

....

Sorry. There was a point in my life where I was suicidal and MLP helped me get through it. I see myself as the dad and the show as Dashie, and I really, really don't want to let go. My connection with MLD is a very love-hate relationship. I love it because it's effective. (Heck, I just cried a few minutes ago.) I hate it for what it implies in my life. There was a time when I was thinking about giving up being a brony, and that seemed like issuing myself a death sentence. What if I started to slip again?

Now I don't want any of you worrying about me; I'm fine now. I've got a really good friend I talk with often who helped me work through this stuff, and I've got some really uplifting pony music to help me downloaded on my phone. I'm just in the middle of getting everything in order to go back to school and I'm under a bit of stress. It'll pass.

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Story Updates:

History Lesson:
          Next chapter goal: 5-6K words
          Next chapter progress: 5.7K
                    Almost done editing/revising
I'm planning to tweak minor details of a few previous chapters to conform with Season 6 canon (and polish up some
grammar/mechanics while I'm at it. The finale did a number on my vision for this story. I'll make sure you all are notified
of any significant changes.
          Remaining chapters: 2
          Likely upload time: Tomorrow or the day after.
                    Reason for delay since last blog: Writer's block/generalized lack of motivation/high levels of stress (I don't handle stress
well.)