So... Alone · 6:08am Jan 1st, 2017

It's New Year's Eve and I am spending it crying and alone. I got frustrated with my electronics and asked for kelp but I didn't want a hug so as per usual they got mad since I did something mean by accident. I always seem to be alone when I need someone for the past six years it's been the same thing so I have ended up hiding my emotions and keeping to myself I am to different to relate to with people. I just wanna relate to people I hide who I really am to try and get people to be my friend but if I be myself I seem to drive EVERYONE away I have thought about dying when I first felt this way now it just hurts makes me wonder why I am here? Why am I like this? How can I fix this? How do I stop the pain should I just quit feeling? I seem to be only able to deal with animals other than cats and birds! Was I put in this world to deal with animals and be alone my whole life? I hate this feeling but the more I do it just hurts more then I know that she hurts because of me and that I never deserved her as a friend. Music doesn't help it makes it hurt. I ache to feel true happiness, love, and to be able to trust again. All I want is a friend to heal my broken heart and soul. I wrote this because I am tired of keeping this locked up. They never seem to want me around they seem to always want someone else. I am hated because I like to chew on stuff, because I have pterodactyl and I got my extra finger removed, because I went against what I said I would never do and hurt someone younger than me protecting myself and others, because I am me, because I am nothing like them, because I am a broken person I am broken, because I don't understand jokes, and because I deserve to be alone till I make up for all of the sins I never meant to get.

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