Blatant LOPE ripoff (Where is Everybody?) five.

May Twenty Ninth, Saturday. Oh, boy, what a Saturday. I never planned on my next Saturday being like this, the end of the world as we know it notwithstanding. Today I finally got to a couple of things I had planned on, but not before a couple of things I hadn't planned on. Recall the frantic lady we met yesterday? She had another episode today. This same morning before we got down to business, I also had a run in with the kind lizard woman. Vinnie. An incident involving a drink. And one more thing regarding our work that was a bit more extreme.

When I woke at an hour before my usual time, five rather than six this day, I did something I hadn't ever done before, and I hadn't though possible. In an old sitcom I heard a character joke about striking a match on her teeth. I tried just that this morning, and it worked. I pressed down on my lantern's lever and lit the wick. The smell of kerosene quickly filled the room. I made a note to buy some paraffin fuel which only gives a dull wax like odor. I had used some in this lantern before, and would note to do so again. I really don't want to suck up too much juice. Get accustomed to flame based lighting before the lines die. Just as I raised a "hand" to the door, it opened, and in walked Vinnie, the lizard woman I mentioned. She and the bitch were both awake, and seemed prepared to wake me up. I asked Vinnie if she would come into the dining room with me and share an early morning drink while we see an old film I am quite fond of. She asked what we were seeing and I told her it was "Wiz 1978", a film with MJ. She was ecstatic about this, and agreed. It would be half an hour before we would be unexpectedly interrupted, and an hour before we expected everybody (I actually said/wrote EVERYBODY this time) to be awake. We had some ale in glasses and agreed to take a sip or gulp every time somebody started singing. By the time we were halfway through, our tolerance was well tested. We both had a good one. It was around this point, however that Vinnie started rumbling. I asked if she was hungry, but she said no, it's the ale. She always had a tendency to drink ale, beer, or wine, but never had a reaction like this before. That's when she erupted in a tremendous burp unlike any I have heard before. Something tells me I was lucky we weren't taking in liquor, not only because we would both be drunk, but her reaction could be more severe. When I stated this in exact words, she immediately agreed. She told me she loves rum, but had probably be best off to avoid liquor if ale makes her belch like this.

After that, I decided to call a break so as to check the others. I took to the taste of iron in my mouth from the lantern's handle before using a cloth napkin to avoid directly tasting the metal. In the den and the living rooms were two separate parties on the floors and sofas in sleeping bags. One had the dog girl and the gryphon, Pickering, the other had Anthony, Will, the Hadley brothers, and Angie in it. I then came into the bedroom next to mine where we had laid the frantic Sweet Stuff who still hadn't told us her original name. She wasn't ready to sleep in the same room with anybody else, and I wouldn't want her to. She plainly needs an adjustment before she can comfortably slumber next to any of us. She probably thinks of all of us the way I think of Will, no disrespect. I can't blame her. I came into the room only to see her clearly knocked out. I felt her neck, which was long and flexible as a swan's. Her pulse was normal, whatever that is. I was only presuming, as it was like mine. When I shook and prodded her, she mumbled something and I could just make out a name she spoke: Herbert. When I prodded her again, she shot up and whipped her head at me. Eyes fixed on me, everything seemed to come back to her. "Where's Harry and everyone?" I paused, not knowing how to answer that. After a minute, I told her the truth: I didn't know. A whole lot of comfort that brought her. She seemed satisfied at my answer, though, and didn't press me any more. She rolled over onto her back and slipped out of the bed, then onto two hooves. The predictable result happened: She fell flat on her face. She then hobbled and limped into the restroom where she was probably dying for a shower, or just to use the toilet. She closed the door, and I turned down the knob, drowning the flame. The sun was about to penetrate the window.

After that episode, we sent her back to bed, telling her that she should rest more, or take a stroll around the block. The latter wasn't viable due to her limping. I went to the cart where our books were to read up on what plants are toxic and which aren't. I already had some idea of it, so I wouldn't be surprised at the results. But that book wouldn't tell it all, and could not be totally accurate to our situation, so I needed to use the others as test subjects, save Sweet Stuff. I could not make a guinea pig out of her. I would risk poisoning myself before I fed her something I wasn't sure of. According to that book, roses, irises, poppies, sunflowers, daisies, violets, mint, elm, and even the common weed dandelion all belong to the desirable category. Not surprisingly, the undesirables included the infamous aconitum, also known as munkshood. It also included the well known oleander. It included carnivorous plants like the Venus Flytrap and all varieties of pitcher plants. Who wants that anyway? Others fall into neutral territory, like virtually all specie of grass, moss and fern. Succulents like Aloe and Cacti are good or bad depending on when you get them. I'm not eager to touch them desert plants.

As I read this, Monica, Anthony and I were in the cart on our way to the US Bank Building to find that poor soul, whoever s/he may be, and hoped s/he stayed put. This would have been the perfect time to ask Monica about his name, but I had some very important reading to catch up on. On the way back, I'd ask to stop to get a sackful of segments from every plant on the first list, and ask them to try some if they haven't done so already. I finished my mushrooms, and am starting to get hungry. Naturally, he saw the practicality of this, and agreed to try it. He hadn't previously done it, hadn't tried any of these plants. So would Anthony. I honestly wish I had brought Will with us so he could try some and ease my mind. As we neared the central location, I couldn't help but admire this architectural beauty. I had always lived around these parts, and I always loved this remarkable marvel. This time, Monica had scrounged for a megaphone to shout for anyone who may be in the area, at the US bank or otherwise. I wish I had thought of that. After an entire half hour from 12:00 PM to half past approximately, we finally got a response.

Somebody had gotten his hands on the PA. The intercom speakers throughout the place, especially the ones in the lobby echoed greatly: "Stop where you are!" We all froze in place. "Who are you?! That's close enough! Don't take another step, you cute but creepy little horses! One more step from you alien deadbeats, and you're history! Full of lead, got it?!" That last line made my blood run cold. Perhaps we should not have embarked on this idiotic mission. I heard the bullhorn clatter to the ground. I dared not turn my head to look, but I suspected Monica had been in a situation like this before, and it never becomes less scary. "Mister, we would like to see you in the flesh!" I spoke. "We aren't aliens, though we look it! We saw your last minute post on that kid's show! You are Width Length, aren't you?!" There was a pause. Then he spoke: "I did that out of desperation. I wasn't expecting results. That's only my one time YT name. I'm glad I'm here of all places, rather than some anonymous residential house, apartment, or even the wilderness! I don't know how much I should trust you, but I will tell you: I have been here in the bank for five flipping days now with nothing to eat but straw and paper! I exhausted the nuts on the first day trying to find somebody else here. I think there could be more nuts, but my straw hat and many documents were most readily available, and I'm still famished! Do any of you have a single nut or a boiled egg?" "No, we haven't! We only came equipped with our golf cart and that same ride home where we have many home gardens in our neighborhood! We highly suggest you come with us!" This elicited uproarious laughter. "I'm quite tempted to take you up on your offer, cutie, but I'm more skeptical than that! You must show me some proof." "Our word is all we have to go by. Toss a coin, and let faith decide, but educated decisions won't work here when you are the only one around. But we could use the company, and you have nothing to lose." "A secure location, and an impenetrable fortress by design." "A stone, glass and steel prison. A fancy prison where you will slowly starve to death unless you come out or have a garden on the roof. And that roof doesn't look hospitable for agriculture. Besides, save us, there haven't been any signs of animal life for the past five days." I didn't mention the toppled garbage can and torn bag. This got him. He told us to brace ourselves for something unpleasant looking when he came into the lobby and approached the glass doors external. What we saw wasn't what we had expected. Rather than see a humanoid dwarf or a horse creature emerge from behind the banister, an insect like being showed itself. Small for a human or horse, but large by insect standards. It had antennae on its head, six legs, all of which were shaped like ours, equine, and a half moon shaped body, with a curved dome-shaped back, yet the belly was flat and straight. Oddly, the bug had a mammalian mouth, with lips, tongue and teeth, including human like bicuspids. Definitely predatory or parasitic. This contrasted sharply with its eyes that were but two very large pupils in the center of its face, yet we could feel where those eyes were focused. Being the intuitive ones, and I confirmed this when talking to Anthony later, something about this guy didn't quite rub us the right way. There was this feeling of uneasy, of disquiet when he approached. Monica, who couldn't detect raw energy like us didn't sense it, which he confirmed when we asked, but was so taken aback by this insect guy's look, it took his all to not turn tail and run on sight. He opened the door just a crack to talk up close with that one barrier between us. "I told you I wasn't pleasant to look at. On the first day, I resembled a dwarf, a little humanoid person, similar to that stupid cartoon. When I got stressed out and focused on my look, thought too much about it, my shape changed into this bug thing." Upon closer inspection, his back was like a hardened black metal shell. It was sturdy and tough, and shiny as polished stainless steel. Only a later tap on his back would confirm he had lustery chitin surrounding him. Like a beetle. "Now that I'm nearer," He said, "I can feel your feelings, yet not hear your thoughts. I cannot read your minds, but I can strangely feel your feelings. Something tells me you are all safe. I feel safer now that we have properly met, but I'm sure you don't feel alright with me." He took the words out of our mouths. Monica could not sense it, but Anthony and I felt like he was somehow controlling us. Not quite the right word, but that energy that surrounds us? That we and the plants all hoard? We can feel it siphoning off of us and Monica. That plus we felt more lightheaded. He zoomed towards the cart before we could say anything else. Against our better judgment, we took him along with us, more determined than ever to get home.

Every time we made a detour and stopped to pick flowers for experimentation, Anthony and I would whisper to each other and take backward glances to our new friend. He didn't seem to notice. He was too busy talking up a storm with Monica who didn't even seem to care, but steadily grew weaker every time we left him alone with Mr Bug Man. Whenever we came back, his strength mysteriously returned, like our own collective presence distributes the energy evenly. We were so relieved when we finally got back to my place, I eagerly jumped into the clutches of my sweet mare. We aren't really sweet with each other, but Angie seemed so sweet after I had been with that-- I don't want to call him a monstrosity-- but that obviously parasitic and/or predatory and paranoid loon. Monica seems to have forgotten the whole ordeal and is as well as if nothing happened to him. He congratulated me on luring him out, and wished he'd thought of that. He ate several of the roses, violets, and especially the irises on the way back. Considering what he was with the whole way, the fact he's well off indicates I should have a little rose. I won't repeat the hot dog incident again, or press my luck. Did they go bad in hours? Were they already near spoilage when I bought them, but fresh enough not to smell? Is my new body adverse to it somehow? If so, is it the preservatives or the meat? If the latter, is it the beef, pork or poultry, or general? I don't know, as I didn't read the package. At least I go to bed with a full stomach tonight. And I have even more reason to be protective of Sweet Stuff. In the two days we have known each other, she already seems like a sister to me. I don't even think Will is all that bad. He may be ghoulish, but his desecration of graves is ultimately harmless to us all, and filled only with good intentions. An intentional eccentricity that harms no one next to an unintentional eccentricity that our new pal either has no knowledge of, or worse, knows but cannot control. I don't want this first impression to taint my view of him, as it's not his fault. He seems to have lost his appetite after he got to the base, as I call it now. In fact, he seems well fed, yet he hasn't touched a thing. No one seems alarmed at his presence, only surprised he looks like a bug. They aren't getting weaker in his presence either. They are in a group at home. We shall see what happens when he's alone with another one of us in "public".

Another productive day for Alex Chance Torrez. I hope tomorrow we get off to a good start with the beetle. He can clearly read our every feeling. I want to give him a chance; we shall see.