Soarin the Headless Plasma Gunner · 2:01pm Oct 4th, 2016
Apologies aforehoof. This is the best version I could find online, and while it's not bad, it pales in quality and verve to the 1987 live cut I have on my personal playlist. It frankly comes across as too long and overwrought, but uploading my version anywhere without transforming it in any way would be illegal. If you want to cut to the chase, skip to 3:30 in the linked video, though as I say, the whole of the thing isn't bad.
SOARIN THE HEADLESS PLASMA GUNNER
Soarin was a Pegasus from the land of the clouded sun
Just a Wonderbolt for hire, with fighting to be done
The treaty talks were ended, on a dark and stormy day
So he flew out to Manehattan, to join the bloody fray
For three long years they struggled, to fight the Zebra War
With their teeth around their triggers, wings streaked in gore
Across the sky they battled the Griffons to their knees
They killed to earn their living, and to fuel up the factories.
Soarin, the Plasma Gunner!
Soarin, the Plasma Gunner!
His wing-mates fought beside him, Spitfire and the rest
But of all the plasma-gunners, Soarin was the best
So the O.I.A. decided they wanted Soarin dead
And a brainwashed pony sniper, blew off Soarin's head.
Soarin, the Headless Plasma Gunner
Cloudsdayle's bravest son
You can still see his headless body soaring through the night
In the orange flash of Soarin's plasma gun.
In the orange flash of Soarin's plasma gun.
Soarin searched the continent for the bucks who done him in
He found 'em down in Baltimare, in a bar-room drinkin' gin
So Soarin aimed his plasma gun and didn't say a word
Its shriek of burning fury, was the last thing they ever heard.
Soarin, the Headless Plasma Gunner!
Soarin, the Headless Plasma Gunner!
Soarin, the Headless Plasma Gunner!
Talkin' about the stal-yun
Soarin, the Headless Plasma Gunner!
That eternal plasma-gunner keeps wand'rin' through the night
And centuries on later, he still keeps up the fight
In Canterlot, in Ponyville, in Hoofington and Filly...
That Griffon, Stern, felt the burn, of Soarin's plasma gun
And bought it...
