I've been doing a lot of thinking and consideration and now am an atheist and ever since I've been never been happier and my depression is gone. Now I don't have to fear any god because they don't exist and FYI if you have to worship something out of fear that you'll face Eternal punishment it's not love but slavery and bondage.
Its back and all I feel is emptiness inside me am rarely happy when am ever happy it's always short lived I feel like a failure and unappreciative at times and every time I make a mistake my dad won't stop calling me names this thing going on for years I can't take it anymore I can't feel loved no joy no happiness maybe one day I'll be better I always keep saying that to myself but when I can't