To any who sees this, please read · 6:21am Sep 9th, 2012
I don't have any followers, not being a writer and all. But I felt like posting something on my page cause well, I feel bad. About over two months ago I was put on new Medication for my depression and stress and that has had some effects on me. One being my ability to focus, so with that I have been having a hard time finding time and even enjoying writing as much as I used to and it sort of makes me sad. Right now I have 19 chapters in favorites to catch up on and 247 Read Later stories. I love the works but I lack the motivation to read, even though the older part of me wants to. When I was not on Paxil, Klonopin, and a few supplements I used reading as a way to cope, but now I do not need a coping mechanism with these drugs and somehow my joy of reading has died.
Though the worsening mental disability/problem is making it harder. Slowly over time I have been reading slow, typing slow, and having a harder time just understanding stuff in general. I wonder if at the ripe age of 22 if this is what going senile is like. You start to forget everything(A symptom I have had since 2008 at least), I feel like I am getting dumber as the months go on. I try to work out my brain. Slowly while my depression is gone my anxiety and stress have stayed and slowly it feels like I am slipping away. While I know how I am, I feel that parts of my past are just gone. I am a reader, I am a writer, I am Robert, I am a gamer. But if I have a hard time remember the past, forgetting almost all the times good and bad I feel like I am almost another person. Sometimes I wish I was another person, my body is by no mean flawed, but it is not what I want yet I will never be able to be what I would ever want anyway....Not unless they find ways to grow bodies and do brain transplants at least. For any who may see, feel free to comment though I do not expect anything from the readers I am loyal fan of. Ariamaki, EXOLIEF, DawnFade, Aegis Shield, TAW, shortskirtsandexplosions, Vimbert the Unimpressive, Alexstrazsa, Wander D, and any of the other fine Ladies and Gents I missed on my following list.
Lastly, Rarity is best Pony
And Goodnight my fellow Bronies, sleep well.
I think you're limiting yourself a bit. What you can and choose to do with your time and your life far outweigh what you tell yourself that you can't. Never make an excuse that you can't be who you were / still are because you're having an identity crisis. Maybe some time will do you some good?
In any case, just wanted to say hi and hope that you feel better soon, if it's any consolation.
346802
Maybe it will Exo, I will admit I was not expecting anyone at all to see this little blog post of mine. It is good to hear from you again and I know it has been a while since I have left any comments on your story. I have a bit of catching up to do, but you are correct about limiting myself. While it may be hard for me to focus, take I went and earlier this morning I grabbed one of the books I had been meaning to read and started reading it again. And what I found is while I do not need my reading to cope with my depression anymore, it still takes me to a wonderful place. And while I may be suffering from unknown conditions, hopefully soon with the aide of my doctor and other medical specialist I need to visit. While it takes me a while, due to me loosing focus and even forgetting the lines I just read, I am still able to enjoy the reading and I should not just limit myself, or even think that it is unenjoyable.
Hopefully that does not sound like incoherent rambling, but you have enlightened me ever so slightly and I am starting to read again, because I do still enjoy it even with these other problems. I guess I just needed a little positive reinforcement, I do not get it often. And hello to you too, I probably wont catch up tonight on your story but maybe sometime this week.
349183
Pfft, don't worry about my story, man
The important thing is that you're feeling better already, and if a little bit of kind words from a friend is all you need, then let me know. I'll be more than happy to help ya out.
Also, reading is good. Had that drilled into my head ever since I watched "Reading Rainbow" as a kid
349192
Yeah, I have been in an odd place for a while now. Trying to sort of find myself. Being unemployed does not help with it either though, luckily I still have a roof over my head because even at 22 my parents are nice enough to not kick me to the curb.
Normally I am the one doing all the encouraging words for my friends, but not many know the emotional turmoil I seem to go through fairly regularly so it felt good to talk about the issue my brain had been though through.
Reading is also very good and I am not sure what after I started on the new medications made my brain seem to disinterested. I guess I just sort of scared myself somehow into avoiding my reading and writing and buried myself into other things to keep my focus.
349225
Which, in turn, ended up making you feel worse because you lost the immersion, yeah? Like I said, it's easier to feel better now than it is to continue feeling down and by yourself. There are people around, no worries
349496
Yeah, without my story's, be it me reading or me writing(I do not write in novel format, I sort of like to design whole new worlds and settings.), I did sort of loose how I also filled my days. Being unemployeed and having nothing to do all day can be a real downer and it slowly drives one a little stir crazy/
And yes, I am glad to have people around. I admit I was not expecting anyone to see this blog post, I know your one of the Author's I am following but how did you notice it?
351507
I remember you making a good comment and following me, so I ended up checking your profile page. Saw the blog post there, I felt compelled to read it, and so here we are