The Triangle Review #1 :Into the Black: A Mare's Tale (Partial Review - Full Review coming soon)

Into the Black: A Mare's Tale

This is a idea I've had for a while but me normally lacking the time and lacking a webcam and microphone to properly record my thoughts, this is the closet I am ever going to get. These reviews will come out when ever I finish a story and decide I need to talk about it, either in a good or a bad way. I'll try and add humor whenever possible and these. Will. Contain. SPOILERS!!!!! (Rarity gasp!) Yep, and for those who want NO SPOILERS! I am sorry, I will try and think of a way to come up with a "no spoiler" review, but I promise nothing. Anyway.... the thing
The first story I will review is Into the Black: Screw all your cannon ships and relationships ta- I mean... Into the Black: A Mare's Tale! Yeah... If there is a way I could quickly sum up this story is would be... this... yeah. This story is a fucking miss roller coaster of innuendos and murder I don't even know where to- Scratch that, let's start with the beginning...

The beginning starts with (Non alicorn) Twilight fighting some guy name Xander, who has some how captured all of the mane 6, and then he tricks Twilight and sucks her through a inter-dimensional vortex. Wow way to go dude... you did what ever other MLP villain sucked at doing and then added some flair. Not bad. Still hate you though. And after words Twilight is announced Dead. Whelp that that, everyone pack your things shows over Twilight's dead, time to mourn then hit the road! But wait, what's that thing falling from the sky at us! None other than the pronounced dead pony her self Twilight! Yeah... apparently Xander transported Twilight and... his head, (HA! Way to go jackass!) to another universe and Twilight is greeted by Xander's head and a Human that is named Curt. Ignore this person he is no-one Curt is a in-important charect- never mind... Curt, which Twilight doesn't know is his name yet, has no clue what twilight is and precedes to communicate with her.. like an animal. Curt says “Shh, it's OK, little fella, I won't hurt you.” then he yells to another human “Hey, Seth, you need to see this.” The human, Seth comes over and sees Twilight. Seth's reaction when he sees Twilight is just "What the hell is that?" Curt says Twilight is a myth and Book Horse finally realizes, she can speak to. The two humans are shocked and think she is hostile, after Twilight telling them she means no harm they calm down. Curt begs Seth they take Twilight with them and they do. Seth tells Twilight to stay out side this base thing and keep a gun he hands her close and to shoot anything that tries and harms her. Not two hours later and these bad guy alien things called the Dratali show up and are apparently the soul enemy of the universe and... want to destroy all evil, and they think everyone and everything is evil including themselves... wow... that's... What!? Back up a minute these "Dratali" think everything in the universe is evil? And on top of that they think the universe wants to destroy everything? What the fuck kinda messed up aliens are these guys? I mean... never mind, I'm going off track. Anyway these Dratali show up, Twi alerts the humans they tell her to take cover, but then out of nowhere a single Dratali soldier shows up see's Twi and then is really confused... he's probably thinking. "Dude, what the fuck was in my drink this morning?" Whouldn't you think the samething? Nonetheless it didn't matter what he thought, Twi pumped him full of lead. After words Curt and Seth find Twi and comfort her... for she just murdered something. Afterwords Twi gets on this massive ships, meets an Admiral, meets some more soldiers and meets human Rainbow Dash... I mean Debby. Debby is a Half-Aviva which is a group of aliens with wings on their backs. However, Debby, tells Twi after Twi asked “Ms. Debby, if I were to ask you how much cooler you are than everyone else here, what would your answer be?” Debby answers “I'd say I’m at least twenty percent cooler.”. *Drops everything and walks out the door*
"Fuck life! I'm done"
Even though I could have seen this one coming, it still surprised me. After Twi's meet and greet, Twi gets her own room and starts to adjust to life in this new world. Twi then tells her new friends about how she got her and about her adventures, the story stops and comes to Real Time Twi, the Twilight that just showed up at her own ceremony. Celestia invites Twi and co to Canterlot for a visit. Then at Canterlot Castle, Twi begins the story again and before hand ask the princess for alcohol. (BTDubs I skip a couple things as to shorten this review, I will do this a lot) Twi then talks about how she found a group of orphans, she then tells of how she knows an orphan
"Scoots maybe?"
I hear absoulutly no-one think, NO! You're wrong! (I think?) It's..... (Rarity gasp!) Rainbow Dash! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? Yep Dash is an orphan. Twi then sees these orphans and how said they are then she puts on a show a steals Trixe's Show! When I read this I was like
"Oh Twilight... you're such an idiot it's actually adorable"
But the "Trixe Like" show works the orphans are happy and so is Twi... for about five minutes (maybe) The Dratali show up and kill people, including the orhans. Twi sees this and then turns into that pokemon everyone crosses her with... you know the one, you know who I'm talking about damnit! After she goes psycho bitch mode on some Dratali, Twi and new co come in contact with a Mech suited Dratali outfitted with magic. Twi fights it and learns his magic.... by looking at the Dratali spells? The fuck? Yeah, Twi thinks she defeats him but then she get's her leg grabbed by the Dratali Mech suit guy and the Dratali starts the suits Self-Destruct sequence, I think? And the suit exploads Twi however was able to sheild herself... but not the caught leg... Twi has now become Lucky! The three legged dog! Joking. Twi's new co brings her to a doctor and they get her a prostetic. However Twi hates it and wants to be alone. Twi starts beating the crap out of her room and then Debby comes in. Debby then tells her that her wings are not full Avivan. Her wings are smaller than most of her race. As she is half human. Debby tells Twi that she knows how she feels like not a whole, just half. Afterwords Debby brings Twi to the rest of her new friends and they show her the letters from the civilans that she saved. Then they show her metal leg that the town (and Debby) all helped buy. Afterwords Twi takes a break. Twi then see's her family and, Spike! And boy... Spike's fucking crazy! No seriously, first off in this story Spike is an adult I believe and taller than Twi, and when Twi dissappeared he started to hallucinate her. Damn. That's some crazy stuff there... Twi meets with him and they are happy, yay! Anyway, Twi spend the night at her parents and the next day begins telling about her journey again.

Alright That's enough for now, the next part may be up sometime soon, it's just right now I am going of no sleep and a Pepsi is the only thing keeping me up so I'll see how you guys out there like this little idea I had and I'll continue later right now... I need to crash...

Keep Rockin - TAB