Full Disclosure · 2:28am May 27th, 2016
(I was gonna add an intentionally-badly done edit in MS Paint to make it say "written by Citrus Recluse," but I couldn't get to work. Anyway ... )
Hoo ... deep breath.
Okay.
This wasn't something I wanted to admit to, but after ... a few things happened, I feel I should, for the purpose of clarity and communication.
I am actually someone's alt.
I'm not going to say an alt of whom, as that would defeat the purpose. But an alt nonetheless.
The main reason for making an alt was to write stories - the stories that I, Citrus Recluse, write - without letting my main be associated with them, as I did not want my main associated with them. There are things in the things I write that I just ... didn't want people who follow my main to know I was capable of bringing myself to write such things. I mean, bimbos? Loss of free will? It's all very ... unsavory. Hence the decision to use an alt.
HOWEVER.
Main or alt, my real life persona is someone who would like to ... leave the pony fandom at some unknown yet definite point in time. I could go on and on about why, but it's tangential to the purpose of this blog post. All you need to know for now is that I, in my main, intend to leave soon.
Once my main has finished wrapping their stories ... that's it. It's done. Over. Game over, man, game over! Finished. Done with! OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW! (Whatever 'new' might be) CALL IT COOKED AND STICK A FORK IN IT ... DONE.
But during that time, I still like to write and explore these ... bimbo-y, sex-based stories I write. Mostly when my main's writing is in a lull or a dry spell, or I'm confident I can write a little bimbo stuff today on the side while still meeting the goals and deadlines I set for myself. Because despite my opinion that the show has gone six ways downhill ... I still enjoy seeing these characters in sexual situations. I still enjoy the thought of having the Mane Six hypnotized and committing adult acts. Someone I read suggested the main strength of the show was in the characters, and I have to agree.
So, while I do enjoy writing these stories about bimbos and other sexualized characters in ... compromising situations, I am unwilling to devote any more to them than I am sure I can afford while still meeting my other commitments. That might explain some comments and replies I've given in the past, if they seemed as bizarre to you as they did to me... knowing all this would help contextualize that somewhat.
So, while I hate having say to no to a request, I just ... can't bring myself to commit to something like that when I know I have a definite plan to be leaving soon, and can't be sure I'll be able to finish the request before the designated time of my departure. It would be dishonest.
That said, I do still have stories I'm working on, story ideas I'd like to do ... I just want people to know what's up if they aren't published as soon as they like ... or aren't published at all. But with the magic of TIME MANAGEMENT, I ... have been able to get a little work done here and there.
What prompted this blog post was at least a few people expressing their explicit (pun not intended) and hopeful desire to see me publish more stuff in the future, and while I'm not willing to completely rule that out either just yet, I want them to know and understand my situation, so they can temper their expectations and be prepared for my inevitable, inexorable departure when it does happen ... which I might not even specify has happened on this alt for fear of connecting to my main account.
And on two side notes ... there's always the fear this alt could catch up with me. If someone found out about what I did on my main, I could conceivably defend it, (assuming I had to, which I shouldn't - we humans are inherently sexual beings, and we should not be shamed of that unto itself. Expressing it in inappropriate places, like in front of children, should be discouraged, sure, but not sexuality unto itself. Ya dig, man?) But these stores where women are not just sexalized, but the very act of them being sexualized is sexualized might ... rub a few people (say, a prospective female employer, perhaps) the wrong way. So I wouldn't draw too much attention to this alt ... do too many things ...
So do you think I have a chance on getting into Equestria After Dark? 
*disclaimer for the humor-impaired; this is a joke.
And on another side note, I have written on my main a lot, trying to do the best I can do, pouring hours, weeks, months of time into my stories ... aaaaand the first story I have that gets recognition from somewhere that isn't a pony fanfic (youtube, in this instance) is for a piece of bimbo drivel that I cranked out in a day (Maybe a day and a half).
On the plus side, now letting all of that been known ... I might feel more comfortable letting out certain sides of my personality more on this alt that I try to curb on my main. As I was telling a friend earlier this very day, in the words of Walt Whitman, do I contradict myself? Very well. Then I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes.
I enjoy all these fun smutty stories on this account, kinda makes me wish I knew what your main was so i could appreciate the writing there. Personally I wish you'd stay around for a long time, but I understand wanting to eventually move on from the pony fandom (or atleast stop writing for it), so good luck in whatever you choose to do in the future!
Well, I can understand your wanting to move on from the fandom, but it doesn't make the news any easier to take, unfortunately.
I've really enjoyed what you've posted on this account thus far, and hope you stick around, even if it's just for a little while. The few stories you've posted have been very fun reads, and scratched an itch or two that I've had trouble finding on this site over the few years I've been lurking in it. Additionally, whenever you do decide to throw in the towel, I definitely would be appreciative if you PM'd what your main account is (so I can enjoy your primary written material, if I'm not already), but would understand if you didn't.
At any rate, I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
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I might see about figuring out how to share my main's writing with you at some point. Of course, the more people I tell, the more people know, the more people know, the better chances of it being made public.
Not entirely sure you would like what my main does, really. They are much less, oh, what's a good word to describe it? ... willing than Citrus is for certain things.
Though given how active I've been on this one lately, I may end up just having to up and out write original smut just to save face, if that makes sense, though coming up with original plots and characters for smut purposes is more work than just throwing established characters into these compromising situations. (Yet I am fairly confident I have the capacity to do so, were I so inclined)
I will say this; Captain Croissandwich, I perused through who you're following and your favorites ... and I can assure you my main is not in there.
Of course, I may have just said too much already!
Always a worry when doing something like this ...