[Metacritic Monday] Pokemon Black and White · 11:10pm Apr 26th, 2016
Only fitting, right?
Hello everyone! My name is SuperKamek and welcome back to another episode of "Metacritic Monday", where I bitch and complain about people who bitch and complain. It looks like it's another fucking Tuesday everyone! News Flash: SuperKamek can't read calendars for SHIT! Ugh... Either way, I got two shit-fests up today. So let's check them out, why don't we?!
Please, please, PLEASE take note that I will not be ripping apart reviews that are actually legit. If someone dislikes a game for a reason, I'm all okay with that. What I'm NOT okay with is false information, like those stupid "0/10" reviews you find sometimes. Also take note that this is for entertainment and comedy purposes only, so I will be exaggerating a few points I make. So, without further ado, let's delve into Metacritic Monday!
Pokemon Black and White, but more so White, are my favorite Pokemon games of all time, as they were the ones that TRULY got me into the series! And my first ones that were NOT fake copies of the game. However, people have been treating them like absolute garbage as of lately. Actually, forever, but what do I know? So I found a few "reviews" that absolutely cracked me up.
So grab your Pokeballs and get your cap turned around, because we're going right back into the Pokemon world to clear this up! Man, I seem to be doing that a lot lately, huh? I guess I'm just really excited for the releases of Sun and Moon later this year... Wait, what were we talking about again? Oh, yeah, shitty human beings; right.
Tah-dah!
Bah. I hated this game. I have hated Pokemon since they made crappy remakes of Gold and Silver. If you asked me I would put Pokemon Blue and Pokemon Silver somewhere on my top 10 list of favourite games ever. This would barely make my 1000th.
First, they made the controls even harder by adding even MORE touchscreen stuff.
Second, it is EXACTLY THE SAME AS SOULSILVER WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pokemon was better when it was NOT THE SAME GAME EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, Red and Blue are practically the same as Crystal, but they were actually original.The END!!!!
If you've played the previous Pokemon games in the GBA or GBC, then you'd know that this game is not the best in the series. The Pokemon series is going downhill because of the lack of creativity. My all time favorite will be Emerald Version. The Pokemon series is going downhill and now the games are starting too. I'd say, Gamefreak should just create a Pokemon game where you can travel in Kanto, Johto and Hoenn in a new story. Maybe Sinnoh. Since its got a lot of cool Pokemon and is the LAST best.
This ought to be fun!
Bah.
Humbug?
I hated this game.
Thank you for telling us! Review over everyone; we can go home!
I have hated Pokemon since they made crappy remakes of Gold and Silver.
A crappy remake would be a remake of a game that didn't need to be remade. Gold and Silver, though still very solid Pokemon games, did need a good fix for the current generation as they were starting to become a little outdated. While I haven't played any Johto games before, I hope to get one sometime soon.
If you asked me
Which no one ever will, BTW, but continue...
I would put Pokemon Blue and Pokemon Silver somewhere on my top 10 list of favourite games ever.
You're another person stuck in the fucking past, aren't you?
You fucking jackass. 
This would barely make my 1000th.
Now if only you played that many games before going into this, let alone two. 
First, they made the controls even harder by adding even MORE touchscreen stuff.
I... uh...
...I don't have anything to say about that. That's just stupid. You're stupid.
The Pokemon controls have stayed exactly the same since the very first days of the franchise, minus a few control differences here and there to keep up with the handhelds. A confirms. B runs. X/Start opens the menu. Y/Select lets you use registered key items. D-pad/Circle-pad makes you move. The touch controls are COMPLETELY OPTIONAL! And I get if you're a reviewer, you have to talk about everything, but you can't just say it "makes it harder" without any reason to back your argument up!
Why is it harder? Does it affect the player totally?! EXPLAIN, JACKHOLE!!!
Second, it is EXACTLY THE SAME AS SOULSILVER WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow.
I would complain about you once again not giving any points as to WHY it's exactly the same, but I'll let that slide and just focus on that sudden outburst of powerful rage you just let out, out of nowhere.
Like dude? Seriously; chill brah. 
Pokemon was better when it was NOT THE SAME GAME EVERY TIME!!!!!!!!!!
Well then, if we're going by your logic, that would mean Pokemon Silver, one of your quote unquote "favorite Pokemon games" would be "exactly the same game".
You fucking moron. Holy crap...
Yes, Red and Blue are practically the same as Crystal, but they were actually original.
No.
If you want to be a video game reviewer, you can't just say shit like that and hope to get away with it! You have to have a valid argument as to what the problem is and STICK WITH IT, not bend the rules because you "forgot" or whatever. Crystal, according to your previous logic, would NOT have been "original" due to it being the sixth game to be released in the Pokemon series.
Besides, you have your games mixed up! I'll spare everyone the trouble since I don't want to waste more of your precious time than I already am, but I think any true Pokemon fan would see what's wrong with this picture.
The END!!!!
Not for me, it ain't!
If you've played the previous Pokemon games in the GBA or GBC
Which I haven't, but I digress.
then you'd know that this game is not the best in the series.
Well first off, how dare you speak for the entire Pokemon community, but second off, and more importantly, fuck you for even CONSIDERING the fact no one likes this game. Me? I LOVE this game! So does my sister and my friends!
Simple-minded jackass...
The Pokemon series is going downhill because of the lack of creativity.
My all time favorite will be Emerald Version.
Where the fuck did this come from?! Yeah, okay, thanks for telling us that CRUCIAL bit of information about your personal life. Seriously, the review wouldn't have been the same without it!
The Pokemon series is going downhill and now the games are starting too.
Oh- YEP! Straight back to the review now! Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen; this guy's brain just shut-off for a split second to tell us something we don't care about! Now back to our regularly scheduled bullshit.
Also...
Seriously, why did you literally repeat the exact same argument two sentences later?!
WHAT THE HELL AM I READING?!?!
I'd say, Gamefreak
With an unnecessary comma for free...
should just create a Pokemon game where you can travel in Kanto, Johto and Hoenn in a new story.
Well, that would be cool, but let's see how Sun and Moon plays out, alright?
Maybe Sinnoh.
Since its got a lot of cool Pokemon and is the LAST best.
Oh well, since you're jerking my dick when you say that, you're forgiven for all your words previous.
Only, you're not...
And that concludes today's Metacritic Monday! Did you enjoy the show? If so, leave a comment down below! Also, what are your thoughts on Pokemon: Black and White? Like it? Hate it? Really you choice, I won't blame you if you hate it. As much as I do love the games, they ARE flawed and have a lot of things I'm not okay with. Like Garboder...
...and Stunfisk.
FUCK!!
Reading the two "reviews"
pbs.twimg.com/media/CgMbR_6WcAAHu2d.jpg
i needed to include dank memes
3898949
Just get all the dank memes. Trust me, it helps.
3899183 i.imgflip.com/vw7te.jpg
3899236
Lol, I know, right? That was literally the first thing that came to mind with that.
3899245 So out of all of these, which is the worst review you've ever critiqued?
3899251
Difficult choice... Hmm... I was really angry with these ones, but I think my worst one was the Super Mario Galaxy one. I just can't believe how absolutely stupid that guy was not being able to figure the simplest things out and saying the sheer stupidest things.
3899274 True.
3899288
Which was your favorite?
3899299 I really like this one because of the sheer stupidity of this person.
3899305
Fair enough.