What do you think? Good or bad? · 5:28pm Apr 13th, 2016
Jimmy. He liked the way the name bounced around in his mouth. It had a much nicer ring to it than Jeremy did. He had been fighting hard back then, and fighting to get what would hurt him sand drive out what would make him strong. People had said that it was an acquired taste. People had said that it got less painful with time. Ev-Lyn, he meant Lyn, said that it was bullshit what people said. The girl was mature for her age and he, a solid ten years older than her, often felt awed at how much wisdom she had that he somehow missed out on.
And she was beautiful too, he couldn’t deny that. It was her eyes. The clear mountainriverblue rings had a bit of the Forest in them at all times. And a waterfall of wonder aimed at everyone they saw. Fine, invisible specks of mountainriverblue shimmer, made of love and respect, had even somehow been attracted to him even the first day they saw him. Though then there were considerable amounts of fear and sadness added in. He had been confounded as to how eyes like that could exist, when most of the eyes he’d seen had been cold, calculating, merciless, unforgiving and, most of all, hungry. He’d felt a sense of relief that was so … real. And a sense of fear that reminded him of his high school days. He knew people like Lyn existed, and he knew how they thought and what they wanted. But he’d never felt it. Never let it leave its impression on him. It was the rest of her too. The way her cheeks melted into a smile when she caught ray of contentment. The way her cherry blossom bud lips smiled in their strong yet gentle, pessimistically optimistic way. He hadn’t known what was in that smile before. The most accurate feeling he could think of was victory, though that seemed way off. It strengthened him. But his mind had been filled with the doubt planted by generations of Immortals.
But now he knew what his soul needed. It didn't’ need to live forever. It needed to live, love, be loved, then die. If Lyn was a river flowing down a mountain, bringing watery life and light to all the lands, then he was a fern by it’s side, taking the life it provided to glow with life and beauty. Eve said that his smile was filled with starlight now, whereas it had been filled with reinforced glass.
Jimmy. Jimmy Starlit Plantlife. The young man that had been inside the carefully-created atomaton that was Jeremy Praiton. For the first time in forever he did what he felt like doing. Who let his heart decide his desires not the other way around. Who played soccer with teenagers for hour on end even though he sucked at it and always would. Who frolicking through the forest while he planned revolutions despite the dangers associated. He binge on super cheap chocolate that was horrible for his cholesterol. He gave most of his money away to people on the verge of bankruptcy (and associated problems). No he wasn’t strong enough to push for his previous nightmares now that he knew what he could have instead. No he wasn’t even strong enough t o not be terrified. But he was strong enough to never give up on saving Lyn, on putting her back where she belonged.
And he knew what direction this all was headed. And he knew what he’d have to do. The immortals had been too scientific when it came to putting him and Lyn together. They hadn’t considered the likelihood of a miracle. They hadn’t considered that rivers that ragedly danced life -the flow of it, all of it - from desolate mountain tops into the deepest recesses of the world were the bringers of miracles miracles. They hadn’t considered that trees which grew back whenever they were cut down were miracles.
“Lyn … I think …. I might have enough left for ship tickets. And people only have their doubts about me as of now and school staff will be able to let me let your brother transfer schools. We’d have to act fast though, they’ll be onto us soon. You’re okay with making your brother live as a fugitive?”
“It’s a much better fate than he could’ve gotten anywhere else. And he’ll get used to it. But Jimmy, you have to leave without me if I can’t go.”
“Lyn I …. I’m so happy I’ve never been this happy. And when I think about leaving it fills me with so much hope. But I love you. And I won’t go without you.”
“Jimmy you’re so cute. You always were. But it’s good to see you actually smile. And your eyes these days. They’re letting the magic flow.”
OHmyGod. That was weird. Um… Jimmy was flustered to say the least. “Uh…. you um…. Don’t really think that do you?” He asked, blushing.
“Ha ha. You should see the look on your face!” Oh yes. She had a smartass, cheeky side to her. She didn’t really mean it though, she just liked seeing him flustered.
“Okay you got me.” Jimmy smiled. He knew that not surrendering would be beyond pointless here.
“JImmy. In all seriousness though. And not even considering anything that’s happened between us. I like you. I like your soul. I like how fun-loving you are. How you wing half the stuff you do. How you’re so comforting. How hope is like a night sky on a clear day to you. How confused you get when you don’t have all the information. How fear stays in your mind like a heartbeat when it comes. You’re like a summer day.”
Jimmy had so much he wanted to say but no idea how to put it in words. And no idea how to make it sound…. Not fucked up. No…. no-one had ever talked like that to him before. And no-one else ever would. They had to leave.
“Ly…. Lyn … I … you’re awesome.” Words… were not enough, were never enough, to say how he felt.
Jimmy… had no clue what to do.
“Ly…. Lyn … I … you’re awesome.” Words… were not enough, were never enough, to say how he felt.
Jimmy… had no clue what to do. He … Lyn was way too good for him.
“Jimmy darling I know what you’re thinking and you should know it’s wrong. You’re wonderful.”
… And she was apparently a mind reader.
Her eyes were like cool water on a summer day, and he was completely lost in them as she subtly leaned closer, as if some unseen force was pulling her. Subconsciously, he leaned in too. It felt so right. Time seemed to go on forever.
When he felt her lips on his he was snapped out of the trance though, and his eyes went wide in surprize.
“Um… that was weird.” Jimmy took a few steps back.
“I… I wasn’t thinking, sorry.” It was Lyn’s turn to be flustered.
“It’s okay neither was I.” He looked at the ground, water being too easy to drown in. “I… I kind of liked it though.” That was probably the wrong thing to say. But hey he still wasn’t thinking. Every neuron he had was probably blocked right now with the thought of how it had felt.
“I… liked it too,” Lyn said tentatively.
They both consciously stepped towards each other. And this time when their mouths met neither pulled away.
Guys fucking comment I need feedback!
Your writing is always so beautiful
Hope you'll publish more stories soon!
3867922 THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
3869321 Well you're out of luck then parce que je t'adore beaucoup.
Also thanks so much I really appreciate it.
3870313 I love you a lot.
3870313 oh and just so you know I'm not even with that other guy anymore.
well written spark tho i have to ask is this like a teacher student thing and isn't that illegal? even tho its just a story still but as i said before well written punctuation's look nice writing looks careful everything basically checks out
4413950 No it's not a teacher student thing. It’s a two people running away into the woods thing.
4499645 I really just wish I could start all over again with you. Sadly it's not possible.
4500463 You're so perfect and amazing.
4501064 Really Andre you really are.
4501064 And I get how we're both going through a lot and it's turbulent but I wish I could just be bffs with you again.
4501080 best friends forevers.