Films with Faceless: Batman v Superman AKA WHAT THE F%(%K HAPPENED! · 3:03am Mar 28th, 2016
Hello everyone and welcome back to Films with Faceless, which I admit I did maybe two other times and it wasn't that big of a deal and seems like something I do more as a joke, but I just saw a movie that invoked such a reaction from me that I felt the need, no....COMPELLED to share my thoughts with you on the subject.
And what could possible cause me to want to share these thoughts with you, well it's a little film, maybe you're heard of it. it's called BATMAN V SUPERMAN DAWN OF JUSTICE.
Oh yes one of the most hyped films of this year and I just saw it, and have to share, not vent my frustrations with this. this PEACE OF S$(%T. Sorry sorry, I'm just a little agitated.
Now look I'm a DC fan and I love Batman in general, think it's a great character and story, I admit to not being the biggest Superman fan and never saw Man of Steel, but I didn't really think it mattered as I hoped this movie would atleast be reasonably enjoyable. This was despite all the warning signs this movie was gonna blow
Warning Sign 1: Directed by Zack Snyder,: this guy is basically like the rich man's Micheal Bay or an Artsy Micheal Bay, who favors style over substance. His movies look pretty or atleast unique in terms of design and color, but most of the time, the stories either are so backwards and confusing like Sucker Punch, or so damn dark they are depressing to no end like Watchmen, that almost all the time you feel either holllow, confused, pissed off or some combination of the three
Warning Sign 2: Ben Afleck as Batman, , look I know Afleck is for the most part a good actor and plenty of people have already talked about this. But I just have to say when I think of Batman my first thoughts don't fly towards the guy from Good Will Hunting or Gilgli. Afleck himself always seems to be best at playing smart or fast talking wiseguys or even the perverbial straight man. Maybe he could make a good DC hero, but Batman isn't what jumps out to me. And then there's the costume, good god the Costume looks like absolute crap. I mean Look at this thing:
It's bulky look despite Batman being a master of stealth as opposed to the wrestler look they are going for here. The ears are too damn short, the Bat logo looks like some guy chopped up a bunch of hoocky pucks and glued them together. IT just looks like absolute crap.
Warning Sign 3: Too Much Going on: This movie already had Superman and Batman, along with the task of reintroducing this new version of Batman for the movie, that alone could fill a whole film. But on top of that, they include Lex Luthor, Wonder Woman, Doomsday. After hearing all that I immediately got the vibe of Spider Man 3 and the Amazing Spider Man 2. Two films that killed their franchises because they tried to fit in too much stuff and became cinematic clusterfucks as a result and all the warnings screamed this would happen here.
Yet despite that I honestly thought that maybe, just maybe this movie would atleast be entertaining and funny perhaps, with a good battle, a decent story and a good lead into something more as far as the DC cinematic universe was concerned......AND THEN SYNDER HAD TO GO AND PROVE ME SO WRONG
Look I'm just gonna say it, everything I was concerned about with this movie was right. Nothing in this movie works, not one goddamn thing. The movie is disjointed and it's pacing is all over the place, with the movie changing scenes and locations every 30 seconds, you could make a drinking game about how often this movie shifts from one place to the next, it's stupid and lazy. Scenes, incuding flashbacks and dreams are thrown in seemingly with no purpose or clear idea, including a retelling of Batman's Origin story....SERIOUSLY WE KNOW HIS ORIGIN ALREADY YOU DONT HAVE TO SHOW IT GUYS.
Plot elements, they just throw in one plot element after the other, Batman is tracking some crime boss, Clark Kent is trying to publish a story about Batman as a vigilante, Wonder Woman is in this movie, Lex Luthor is trying to get Kryptonite, There's other meta humans involved. There is so much crap going on in this movie, I felt like I needed to be taking notes just to keep track of just what the hell I was watching.
And then there were scenes that were just down right weird or stupid. Probably the one that stuck with me the most was one where Lex is talking with a government official to try and get clearance to bring in some Kryptonite. During this scene he's fiddling with some Jolly ranchers, because this Luthor is insanely quirky for some reason, and you think maybe he'll just eat the rancher, but no instead he puts it in the officials mouth. That in and of itself would be weird, but then he licks his fingers, which were just touching the inside of that guy's mouth and things just move on.....WHAT, what, what was the point of that, to establish this guy has no boundaries or something? I mean seriously, what the hell was the point of that at all.
Probably this movie's biggest problem however, is the same problem the Amazing Spiderman 2 had, namely it is trying way to damn hard to basically establish a franchise or be like the Avengers. Remember how the tie in to those movies were subtle and got you excited. Well screw you we're gonna Spoon feed this stuff for you, regardless of whether it makes sense in the context of the movie or not. They actually show clips of what are basically glorified trailers for Aquaman, the Flash and Cyborg, and it is so awkward and forced, you'll be iwshing they cut the scenes out of the movie cause they accomplish two things, Jack and Shit.
And also Wonder Woman, oh yeah she's in this movie, for about 10 minutes with no explanation for who she is, where she comes from hell they don't even call her Wonder Woman. In fact they don't even refer to Batman by his name, no they just call him "The Bat" what seriously you couldn't call him Batman, his names in the freaking title, call him Batman.
.........Okay guys, look there is a laundry list of things I could complain about in this film and there is plenty more I could rant about but I think you get the point. Batman v Superman is one of the few movies I've ever been tempted to walk out on and saying I'm dissappointed would not even be a drop in the ocean of anger I feel for this film. It's a terrible, piece of garbage movie and I implore you not to go see it.
My rating for this movie a 2 out of 10. This movie is not worth your time, your money, not at the theater, not as a blu ray or anything of the sort. Expect to see this movie in those $5 bargain bins at Bestbuys in the forseeable future.
Sucked, didn't it? Yeah...I would give it a 0/10. It really made me mad when I walked out of that theater...
3832036
Unquestionable and I didn't even get into Batman outright killing people. I personally want to put my foot up Zack Snyder's ass.
3832098 Yeah. Also, did you notice that Superman's hatred of Batman doesn't matter? Those four something scenes with the Daily Planet guy doesn't matter since he fights Batman for AN ENITRELY DIFFERENT REASON!!!
3832117
Yep. Should have known this movie would suck
3832126 The only thing I didn't mind with Batman (The thing I hated about the movie the most was Batman killing like 50 people. BATMAN DOES NOT KILL!!!) was that they showed his origin in the first 5 minutes. When I sat down to watch it, I was like: "Oh, we're getting rid of this part already. Okay, better than them concentrate on it for 50 minutes..." Also, I HATE how the Batman vs Superman fight ends. WHY IS THAT THE REASON THEY STOP FIGHTNING?!?!?!
3832137
Yeah, whole movie feels so forced. NEed to spread the word about this Turd.
3832145 Yep...and fire Synder already!!! Why is he a director?!?! He's the Michael Bay of comic book movie directors! GET RID OF HIM!!!
3832147
Well spread this review and maybe we can.
3832158 Yeah...rotten tomatoes seems to be helping as well. Also, audiences on Cinemascore scored the movie the same as Catwoman and Green Lantern!
Oh, I think you forgot another element in this review, at least of what I saw. Nobody changes in this movie. There's no character moments, just speeches and people doing random things. That and Ben Affleck and whoever plays Superman are two blocks of wood. They show no emotion except frowns. And anger. In fact, everyone is a block of wood in this except Lex...WHY?!?!?!
3832137
3832098
Bullshit.
Batman been killing ever since his first movie. Ok maybe most of those deaths were unintentional but the two Tim Burton movies had Batman killing them intentionally. In fact from the video the only Batman movie that Batman didn't kill was "Batman and Robin" and THAT movie is a piece of shit.
Also I personally liked it. Of course its not the best superhero movie but I didn't think is was bad, just a ok movie.
By the way I'm following you now.
3833376 I've seen that but...in this film, he kills like 60 people! And I find the Burton films to be...boring. Even so, the rest of the film is garbage anyways.
3833431 And with that you just angered all the Tim Burton's Batman fans.
3833436 Yeah...too bad for them.
3833436
3833441
Okay guys lets keep this civil. Look I acknowledge Burton's Batman killed people, that much is true. However, that was over 20 years ago and there wasn't as much of a precedent set. Plus it was pretty obvious that Burton did that stuff more as part of his directing style.
Here however, Batman murders people despite us having years of comics and media that have defined Batman as being someone who never kills because that would make him no better than the man who killed his parents. Probably the best example of how this implement is in Batman Beyond where Bruce stops being Batman when his declining health forces him to use a gun against a criminal.
That shows how strong and dedicated Batman is, sticking to his convictions no matter what. If he just killed people, he'd basically be a richer version of the Punisher.
3833431 I don't think body counts don't matter, in the DC animated/live-action and comics shows that Batman is mostly willing to kill any bad guy that is a threat.
3833444 THANK YOU!!! Batman is NOT the Punisher!!! Why is that so hard for this movie?!?!?!
3833444 I like the Punisher.
3833450 He never kills in the animated stuff. I've watched just about all of them and unless its an alt universe tale, he doesn't kill.
3833452
3833450
Also new story called "Discord's Sunrise" out check it out if possible
3833454
And I do to, however Batman and the Punisher are two different characters.
3833455 Oops, I always forget that the Batman in Justice League: FlashPoint is an alternate of Bruces father.
But does this count as Batman killing?
Or does that not count because Dracula is already dead?
3833478 ...I'm actually not sure. I wouldn't say Dracula is dead though. Dracula is one of those fictional characters that can revive himself repeatedly. I wouldn't say its killing cuz he is technically dead and kinda not.
3833478
Yeah that one doesn't count, since Dracula is undead and by extension couldn't be stopped otherwise. I mean Batman has killed zombies I believe so that's not an issue.
3833491 Batman fought zombies?
3833504
In Justice League when they fought Hades. Anyway I don't think it's hard to believe a guy whose fought monsters, gods, aliens and other crazy shit, hasn't fought zombies atleast once.
3833520
3833489
Well anyways, I still like the movie despite flaws. Despite what you think of Batman in the movie I like this Punisher version of Batman, I even looked at some youtube reviews on it both negative, mixed, and good impressions from the reviewers that they actually do like this new version of Batman, with some of them praising Ben Affleck's performance even saying that he might even be the best Batman yet. Do I think this is a good movie? No. Do I think its a bad movie? Also no. I just think its just a ok movie that's more for the audience as a popcorn movie for people can enjoy. I would give it a 7/10 and would say it is one of those 'you love it or you hate it' movies so I would recommend the movie for people that don't take things to seriously.
Though even that you didn't like the movie, will you still go see Suicide Squad and Wonder Woman movie?
3833563
Suicide Squad, probably, Wonder Woman,unlikely. Not a Wonder Woman fan.
3833563 I'll see Suicide Squad and Wonder Woman. I know that Wonder Woman has a different team working on it, so definitely.